She said I love you but it turns out shes been with someone else this whole time

[R3AL_LUV]

hello guys I have posted before about my problem so I'm posting again as I couldn't find the earlier thread that I made before. Well to narrow my story down I was with this girl for nearly 4 years and we broke up and for the last 4 months we stayed in contact and stuff. There was a period about 2 weeks ago where I gave her a final goodbye letter and said I was ganna move on but she begged and begged me to stay. Her cousin and her friends have been telling me that she has been going out with this guy on her facebook and from her college but she kept denying it and her wanting me to stay in her life and begging me to and her threatening that she would harm herself if I left convinced me that she has learnt her lesson. Anyways so we met 2 weeks ago and we said that we would get back on track and everything and that we would both study but love each other and when the time was right we would get back with each other. So around 4 days ago I asked her back out and she said no because she wanted to study and was scared that we may break up again while shes doing her uni and that will have an affect on her. Well for the past 2 days we haven't messaged and this afternoon she messaged me wanting to change her details at uni to something else so I knew there was something wrong. So I asked to see her because I wanted to see her due to stuff becoming really dry between us and she messaged me saying did u talk to that guy? and i said no and then she messaged me saying I can't be friends with you and that my heart is somewhere else blah blah blah. So I said ok but I want you to say it to my face so I went and she came in the car and we talked and she said that she likes someone else but shes not dating anyone. I have however confirmed that she has been dating this guy since the start of january but I will not say how ( just trust me) but what I want to know is why did she do all this? I mean I feel sorry for her bf because when I saw her 2 weeks ago she kissed me and we have been saying i love you back and forth to each other. I just feel bad for that guy because she just kind of cheated on him and she played me. Anyways What I'm asking is what is the best way to get over all this because it has been on my mind for 4 months and I'm sick of it so what is the best way to get over all this without me having to do stupid things like start another relationship because I'm honestly not ready to start another relationship right now. So I would like any advice on this or from someone who has gone through this all.

Thankyou in advance

[smackie9]

Don't be sad it's over get mad about her BS. She messed with you so bad it made this break up even worse for you.....how selfish is that? After a break up is like grieving a death of a loved one, but it's the death of a relationship. You go through the same stages, confusion, sadness, you miss them terribly, anger is the final stage. After that you will feel a weight lifted off of you and will start to feel hopeful and happy again. To help you along with this process is to surround yourself with friends and family, keep busy so you don't sit and dwell on the negative. Start making plans for weekend fun and vacations. Give yourself things to look forward to, new adventures. That horrible feeling of loss will be a distant memory in no time.

[R3AL_LUV]

I highly value your comments and they are really helpful. When she begged me to come back we promised each other to study and then get together at a later stage but I had a feeling all along that he was her boyfriend. The way I'm feeling right now is sorry for him because he just got cheated on by her and second I just feel that she took advantage of my good heart and lied to me this whole time about it. I mean 2 days ago we were talking about the future and yesterday shes like I don't love you. Its just really frustrating and no offense to any ladies out there and I know not all girls are the same but I cannot honestly see myself trusting another girl because if the girl that I knew for 5 years did such a thing to me then I don't know to be honest.

I will move on and I will maybe try again with someone else later but anger fills me because I have just been played and all I get is her still lying and denying the fact that they are dating.

[R3AL_LUV]

Guys I have just found out the real truth about everything that has been happening since 4 months ago. So its true that my ex and that guy were dating since the start of the year and all my ex did was lie to me this whole time about him just being her friend and nothing more. All the times she probably said she was going out she went out to see him. I have just found out that her bf found out what she has been doing with me and dumped her. She kept denying it and denying it and would not tell me the truth even when I saw her for the last time. So basically she loved me all this time and still had feelings for me and all and she played me this whole time and now that she broke up with her ex she doesnt want me anymore. I think she's chasing after her ex and is trying to get him back now but right now I just feel really really hurt from all this. I mean how selfish and heartless can a person be to just play another person like this and then just cut them out of their lives without any reason?

[BajanFusion]

mate, I know a bit on how you feel, see my post on the subject.

Odd thing is in my case she pushed to meet my family members, friends etc. and introduced me to hers, only to come and tell me later she was engaged to another guy before she met me. Also dealing with the hurt and pain, disgusted as well because I spoke to her cousin early in the relationship and she didn't tell me of any engagement, and I learnt her mum knew about us and told her that she shouldn't continue with me before sorting out her/fiance but it was up to her who she loved the most.

[devonbrown]

There is no easy answer regarding how to get over something like that. The only thing that really works is time.

However, one thing you can try to concentrate on is that she cheated on her new boyfriend, she lied to you, and is generally not sounding like a very good person. Be glad that she is no longer in your life and concentrate on the things in your life that make you happy.

Good luck.