falling in love too soon ?

[cruedcarpanz]

Just to start off by saying I am 40 yrs old and I am recently seperated from a 15 year marriage. In November, I started meeting women thru online dating sites. Just wanting to "date" and not get too serious with anyone at all. In December I starting talking with a great girl, we talk and laugh and cut up alot. So we decided to meet for the first time on New Year's Eve. Since then we been seeing each other every weekend, even though we live about 50 miles from each other. She has also gone thru a divorce and been single for over a year now. She is ready and wants a serious relationship with me. I don't know if I'm ready to jump right back into a serious relationship again. But I can't stop thinking about her. We talk and text each other everyday. We only been seeing each other for 6 weeks. Can I fall in love with someone so soon with me just getting out of a marraige only 4 months ago ? Should I slow down the relationship and see her 2 weekends a month instead of every weekend ? Should I try and push her away a little ? Just wondering what i should do, how to take this and should I just go with whatever happens ?

[carl1222]

Whether or not it's too early depends on whether or not you are still carrying a torch for your ex-wife. If your relationship with your ex was long dead, then there is nothing more to grieve over and it's time to move on.

It's very early in your new relationship, so some caution is good advice in general. But you should do what you want based on how you feel and can bring into your new relationship. The last thing you want is to give your new girlfriend false hope, or make her carry your baggage. I don't get the impression that that is what is going on here.

Carl.

[cruedcarpanz]

thanks Carl, I am the wanted out of the marriage for a few years now, and we both agreed on spliting apart. Just didn't think I would want someone else as much as i want this new girl, this soon.

[carl1222]

Not too surprising since the marriage has been essentially over for a few years. Don't forget to get the divorce!

[Boisdevie]

There are no rules about this. You have to go with your feelings

[smackie9]

Ya just follow your heart.....if it feels right then go for it.

[xxazurexx]

Yeah I agree...just go with your feelings.

If you were not ready for something else and so soon, then I'd imagine you wouldn't even have a desire to date anybody else, let alone be falling for them.

I think you are over the break up....or seem to be

[Kaius]

It also depends on what your expectations are as a single man. Many marriages end when the man feels trapped and bored, so first thing he does is party and sleep around. In my case, my marriage was over soon after my second child was born, when I realized that my unhappiness was literally killing me slowly. I have always wanted a stable loving family, but my ex-wife never provided such an environment, so I left after 12 years of marriage. A few months after I moved out, I met a wonderful woman. We remained friends until my divorce was finalized. Then we started dating. I fell in love with her instantly. Now we are engaged to be married this November. So yes it can happen, and it's never too soon when you meet the right person. Best of luck.

[SelflessnHumble]

Can you fall in love so soon? Of course you can...but ask yourself (and answer here) what you love about her, and why you feel so in love with her so soon?

Nothing in life is how you plan it to be: you need to learn to account for variable change.

...Since normal and good hearted people stay married for life (upholding their vows) and persevering like they are supposed to do...I suspect
you have countless failed relationships under your belt and well...if you haven't yet learned: you cannot build new relationships on top of preexisting ones...

(1) People divorce all the time; why you are still married? Is beyond normal comprehension.
(2) When you joined this dating site; did you tell any and all girls that you: do not want to get too serious with anyone at all? Did you tell this girl? When? No? Why not?
(3) You don't even know this woman at all.

Last..She is ready for a serious relationship: but you are not.
Does this mean you just want sex, affection, attention, and space without any sort of liability/obligation/responsibilities?

Don't be a coward and passively/aggressively push her away:
Do what men do: sit her down and be honest with her...Trust me: it works.
What she chooses to do beyond that: is her decision and as a man you must be willing to respect that...even if it means she wants to stop dating you
because you're just in it to hit it and then quit it...She probably hates that by now.