I left.. and now i got a positive test result :(

[JadenMia]

[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/50390-why-am-i-so-bad.html#post673490[/url]



[url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/51096-heartbroken-but-trying-strong-help.html#post680361[/url]

Past threads of my situation for those who dont know already..

So, me and my ex were a bad match. Although we were very in love.. the relationship was unhealthy.. It started to become abusive, controlling and a horrible situation to be in.
I found it SO hard to leave.. I just couldnt bear to be without him but i did and it was starting to feel a lot better. I didnt mind being alone on a night.. I was beginning to smile and talk to people. I got back on my facebook.. turned my phone on, started communicating with people and just started living my life normally again.

The past few days i had what i thought was getting the stomach flu.. Sickness, nausea..It didnt strike me as odd.. Until yesterday i thought.. omg where is my period.. I didnt worry too much except today i took 2 pregnancy tests and they both give a faint positive

I am hoping i am reading it wrong.. I got crappy tests and have the docs appt tomorrow..

If i am pregnant.. God forbid.. What should i do!? I cant believe i finally had the strength to leave him and this is what happens to me.. I swear i must be in hell..
I just dont understand how this could happen to me.. We used protection everytime, I cannot use hormonal birth control so we always used condoms.. But there was never any mistakes or anything..
I am almost scared he has done this to trap me or something i just dont know what to think right now

Has anyone any advice? Any past experiences.. I am just at wits end already.. I want this nightmare to be over.

[OrdosInfinity]

I can't say I have ever been in your position, perse, being a guy, but wanted to chime in with one piece of advice as a kid in a similar situation. If you do decide to keep the baby I would strongly suggest not staying with a guy (especially an abusive guy) for the sake of the child. My step dad was sexually and physically abusive and having no dad is better than having a dad like that. As far as the pregnancy goes, my sister had a friend in a similar situation. Depending on your wants and needs, there are options ranging from terminating the pregnancy, giving the child up for adoption if you don't feel you are ready but have moral reasons for not liking the concept of terminating pregnancies, and there are programs in place to help single mothers. And one I can answer from personal experience: don't get paranoid or focus on the what ifs. That mindset is toxic and a fast track to not having trust in anyone or anything and feeling so overhwlmed you become inactive - the last thing you can afford to do in your current situation. There are crisis counselors for situations like this as well as support groups. Contact your local Planned Parenthood (I believe they have them in Canada too) and see if you can talk to someone about all of this. Nobody here can really tell you what to do, but I hope my experiences helped a bit. It would be nice is some good came of my childhood and the thought of any child growing up in a potentially abusive home really irks and saddens me. I would rather be adopted by decent parents then raised by biological ones that didn't know their arse from their elbow and made me feel like a burden with their abuse.

[MerryH]

Do not utter a word about this to your ex until you've had time to wrap your head around it and come to a decision. Depending on what you decide to do, he might not ever need to know anything at all. Honestly, even if you keep the kid, it might be best to never tell him it's his.

Planned Parenthood is a wonderful organization. You should contact them.

So sorry to hear this. Such terrible timing.

[JadenMia]

So sorry to hear about your terrible childhood.. Sickens me to my stomach to think what some kids go through

And yeah i do not want to tell him right now..
I have already been through this with him too. When we had been together for about 4-5 months i fell pregnant.. He was furious, didnt support me.. It was like nothing to him, like i was in the wrong.. I felt SO shitty i can honestly say the worst time of my life. I loved my unborn baby with my all but he told me we would never work if i was to have his baby.. That he wasnt ready and it wasnt on his life plan right now... I felt so alone and ended up agreeing to termination in spite of how i feel about it. I was SO strongly against it.. It still sickens me to this day and i regret every second of ever feeling like i needed him.
I can safely say termination isnt on my list of options.. But i know my life is going to go SH*T. I only just moved in with my parents after leaving him.. they are going to completely want nothing more to do with me after this.. I am going to be in such a pickle.. Ughh..

I just cannot believe it.. I was always SO careful..Its hard enough making ends meet for me and my daughter now.. I just dont know what to think..

[MerryH]

I only just moved in with my parents after leaving him.. they are going to completely want nothing more to do with me after this.

I know nothing about your relationship with your parents, but if they've been supportive by letting you live with them, it would seem they would support you through this as well. They do know what an abusive ass he is, right? I would think they would just be happy that you've finally gotten out. But if not, you can get plenty of support elsewhere.

[Kaius]

Wait a few days and see. The faint line can be due to lighting. Make sure a couple of weeks pass since your last intercourse, or the reading may not be correct. I highly recommend the digital tester, which costs about the same, but it either says "pregnant" or "not pregnant" so you dont have to look at the damn line.

[JadenMia]

Omgosh!!
Thanks guy for your input, i went to the doctors today and i had a negative result. I am so happy

I still have the nausea and all the symptoms so i just had to do blood tests also..
Thanks guys! I can finally move on with my life.. SUCH a relief.

[IncognitoSir]

Omgosh!!
Thanks guy for your input, i went to the doctors today and i had a negative result. I am so happy

I still have the nausea and all the symptoms so i just had to do blood tests also..
Thanks guys! I can finally move on with my life.. SUCH a relief.

Congratulations, now get on with your new and improved life without him!

[GK001]

just read this today. thank god! now all you have to do is focus on building that better life you deserved

[Sarcasticshoe]

I agree with the others, take time to think about your pregnancy (that is, if you are pregnant) Since your not with him anymore, he is not a part of the decision... unless you want him to be.. (which i do not suggest) I got pregnant to a guy that I had only been dating for 2 months, he insisted that I have an abortion.. then 5 days later he dumps me... We're back together now but the way things played out made me wish that I didnt have the abortion.

If you are pregnant, you definitely need to think about what's best for the baby.. not you or your ex.... If you cannot provide the life for the child that he/she deserves, think about getting an abortion, adopting him/her out or something. I couldnt provide a home for my child, and didn't have the strength to go through with the pregnancy (though I did not have much say in the matter because I told the father of the baby right away and he had a very strong opinion)

Please, take some serious time to think about your decision.

[xxazurexx]

Blimey, lucky escape or what, lol

I was just about to chime in and say that it's not that difficult to raise a child alone, there are tons of single moms to prove that fact - then read further down it was 'negative' and agree with GK001

[hello1]

Phew lucky!!

[Boisdevie]

Are you living on another planet? Here on planet earth we have a thing called contraception. The basic idea is that it stops you getting pregnant.

[Lixer]

I'm glad the test turned out in your favor, now you can focus on you.

[HeartIsAching]

Are you living on another planet? Here on planet earth we have a thing called contraception. The basic idea is that it stops you getting pregnant.

yeah... and it's all perfectly effective.