+ Follow This Topic
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Boyfriend back and 'committed'

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    1

    Boyfriend back and 'committed'

    Hey everyone,

    i'm a new poster here - but need some feedback and advice.

    I've known this guy for 10 years, we worked together for 5 of those and were great pals. He'd hang out with me and friends and come to parties in my house etc. We kind of didn't see each other that much for a few years, but anytime we were at a work thing togehter we'd gravitate towards each other and hang out.

    I was never interested in him - just never thought of him that way I suppose.
    Anyway - ended up bumping into him at a music festival in August & we hung out together all night, first with my friends, then alone, then with his friends. At the end of the night he tried to make a move, I resisted. Fast forward to Octoberfest get together on the 1st October, and one thing led to another and I ended up hanging out with him all night then kissing him at the end of the night. The minute I kissed him EVERYTHING changed. It just felt right.

    We ended up dating until Christmas, but he was always a little distant & it all seemed to be controlled by him.I'd see him max once a week, sometimes once a fortnight. He was very honest throughout saying he wasn't ready for anything and he wasn't over his ex. So even though we had an amazing time everytime we were together it wasn't going anywhere. So at the start of January I told him I couldn't keep doing this and that I deserved better. Hardest thing I've ever done. He was crying and upset saying that he was going to talk to a counseller etc to get on with things, and that I made him so happy and that he didn't want me to go etc.

    Obviously I went anyway- I have self respect.

    No contact for 7 weeks. Then bumped into him at work and he texted me all that day. Wanted to take me out etc etc. So met him eventually the next week for a drink. We got talking about it and he said that he really wanted to give it a go with me and 'do it properly this time'.
    That was 2 weeks ago. Since then he's been great. Took me out for my birthday last week, bought me 3 amazing presents, a lovely meal out in a restaurant by the sea, spent the whole weekend with me. He's been e-mailing me every day and calling me during the week.

    But here's my issue. He called tonight and we were just chatting. He was asking what I was up to for the rest of the week. I said I'm not sure yet. Hhe listed off all the things he's doing tonight, thursday and Friday night (he has a 12 year old daughter and has her on Wednesday & Friday nights, and has drinks with the lads on Thursday). He said 'want to do something at the weekend then'?
    So now I'm wondering is he back to his casual self? Am I over reacting because I was burned before? I would love him to see me tomorrow night after he meets his mates or something. But even writing this i can see that's probably crazy.
    Am I on to a good thing here, or is it going to revert back into the old pattern of weekends only? I'm mad about this guy....

    I know it was FAR to long of a post - sorry. I guess I'm looking for other people's experience at the start of a relationship like this. Am I expecting too much of him?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    373
    Personally, if I were busy for the remainder of the week, I would have just asked if you wanted to do something on the weekend.
    Sounds like he made a point of having to go through his week??

    Not sure why, but I don't blame you for sitting up, and asking 'what's this?'.
    Green!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    680
    Or maybe he was telling you so you knew he was genuinely tied up but wanted to see you at the weekend and didn't want you thinking he was putting you off

    If it's the first time it's happened since you got back I'd wait until it started to become a cycle before you make a decision, might just be a one off and wouldn't do any harm if you are concerned mentioning it to him.

    In that you really want this to work this time but if it ends up back at weekends only it wont work out

Similar Threads

  1. Boyfriend not fully committed?
    By gothic216 in forum Love Advice forum
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 15-01-10, 06:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •