I'm in Love with someone..at the same time confused

[abel01]

So I had this girl for a class at college..(Were both art majors)..anyway we knew each other very little from a previouse class and we really didnt talk much to each other. But the next semester i had her for 2 classes. I was attracted to her from the first time i saw her. We talked to each other all the time, about ourselves, class, or just joking with each other.

At the time i thought she had a bf cuz she mentioned that when i first had her for a class, but she apparently broke up and i did not know. I really think she was interested in me; let me give a few examples. One time she came in to class and she poke me and said hi, anothertime we lock eyes together and we were staring at each other for a while. When the semester was almost toward the end, she asked me like 5 consecutive times if we were ganna have another art class together.

I never asked her out cuz i thought she was taken and i found out later that she broke up during the semeter brake. So, i decided i was ganna go for it and ask her out that morning in class, but before i could ask her she mentioned she had a bf (which wasnt exactly true; becuase they were just dating and not in a relationship but she called him her bf) So i got over it but still talked to her cuz we really had a good chemistry and got along with each other so well. She didnt last long with this bf either and he broke it off with her.

So i wanted to ask her out but i kept getting bad aniexity and i keep failing to pull the trigger. One day she complimented me that i was a really nice guy..i she smiled when she said that...and then another day she mention that she was looking to meet a nice guy in a relationship cuz she was tired of the men that she had dated.

So the semester was at its end and i was really ganna miss her and i know she would miss me as well. Well i did somehting very stupid...I had adder her on face book but she wasnt listed in facebook search, cuz her profile is private but i found her through the college extracurricular activitise ( she's into rock climbing). When i added her ..like ten minutes latter she accepted the freind request which was pretty fast i thought. The next day i saw her she asked me how i found her on facebook cuz her profile is private and i just told her the truth.. Then she smiled at me and she said excitedly to me "Are you ganna join the rock climbing club" and i said no.

So the semester ended and i removed her from facebook cuz i just wanted to forget about her...and i did for a while. But recently about a month ago i jst cant stop thinking about her. i really miss her and i know she feels the same, and ii just feel like i cant move on...i cant even date someone else cuz im too attacthed to her.

When i see her agian next semester in the art building.. i just want to get it over and done with...i dont care if she says yes or no i just want to know so that i can move on.

How do i approach her? ..cuz most likley i will see her walking in the hallways and not in class..Do u all think she still likes me?

I feel that it is not healthy to feel this way about one person ..but i just cant help it.....

[ASMD]

OMG... I know your pain my friend. I was like this for 5 years though... beacuse her and I were really good friends. I ended up blowing off the friendship because hse was in a relationship when I figured I would tell her, and I just couldnt stand being around her, without being with her.

You guys seem to not hang out much outside of class, and that seems like a very big barrier in progressing the "relationship". Go hang out with her, do stuff together. You SHOULD have joined the rock climbing group if you really like her that much.

I hate to break it to ya, but I think that boat has sailed. I found out later that the girl i was mad for, really like me for the first 2 years, but she was in relationships during those times, and I didnt think I should break them up cuz it seemed selfish. BIG MISTAKE now that I look at it. After that time she just saw me as a friend and the door had closed for me...

[abel01]

Actually i didnt think about this but she works at the gym where she supervises the rock climbing club. Should i go pay her a visit and act like im interested in the club and just slowly make my way talking to her? She ganna wonder what im doing there and im ganna feel ackward... Should i just do it....? Also im finding that im feeling a bit depressed becuase of missing her.and i feel worse each day.

[abel01]

F it..i decided that im ganna go to the rock climbing cub at the gym and do as someone said and act like freinds and make small talk...this is bothering me to much..when i feel right..after a couple of days going there i'll just ask her out and find out the answer.

the gym is closed for spring break so i'll just have to wait till it opens agian.

[Superfantastich]

Why did you delete her? It sounded like she was giving hints also. I say just re-add her and ask her to hang out...that is if she hasnt moved onto boyfriend #3

[abel01]

I deleted her becuase i tought she lost interest in me becuase i failed to ask her out...so i just wanted to forget about her. I guess i doubt myself alot ..even when a girl is hinting that she likes me..i think it has to do with when i was a teenager and i asked this girl out that i really like and she turned me down and i was really hurt bad from it so its like i still have that moment in my head.

So do u think i should add her again? becuase she isnt listed on facebook ..like i said her account is private and i can only add her through the college club that she's in ...i feel like im ganna creep her out.

I was thinking maybe to add her again..and mention that i want to try out the climbing club..meet her in person and work my way to ask her out. I really don't want to ask her out on FB cuz alot of ppl tell me not to ask a girl out on FB..that its not effective as asking in person.

I'm really lost...i really need some good advice here...

[ashley89]

you need confidence! it sounds like she likes you, why not give it a shot? don't keep doubting yourself and overthinking things

[abel01]

ok ..i talked to a friend of mine...he told me the best way was to add her on facebook agian...which i have to agree...we both agreed that the going to the gym were she worked at was way too creepy...so i had to do the less creepy method. if she doesnt accept my freind request..theni know what that means..if she does..then i just have to keep working at it... i feel really embarased cuz i had add her through her school club being her profile is private..Yikes! o well...i feel a bit realeved though that ive taken a step forward.

[Superfantastich]

Well add her on facebook and because at this time it sounds like the only "uncreepy" way of seeing her just suggest to meet up and catch up on things, confessing your love online is probably not the best idea, just asking her to hang out nothing wrong with it

[abel01]

Well here goes..i added her last night and she responded immediatley. i made small talk and i said i was sorry about removing her on fb and i just said that i was really upset at something and i removed her becuase of that. She then questioned why i removed her becuase it didnt make sense. So i decided f'it im just ganna tell her the truth.

So i told her that i really like her and i removed her because i was upset that she had a bf. I told her i really felt bad for removing her and asked her how she felt about me..and that i would not take it the wrong way no matter what her answer was. She basicly took 30 minutes to say she was seeing someone...and also her facebook status said "single"...

I just said that i was fine with her having a bf and that she was a really good friend.

The good thing is that when i talked to her...i felt much much better. i was really feeling depressed holding my emotions to myself.. and it felt like i vommited my negative emotions out and im totally feel much better.
Also i think this is like the first time that when a girl rejected me ...i swear ..i felt no hate for her.

if this girl ever needed a kidney...i would be first in line to give her mine

[Kaius]

Well here goes..i added her last night and she responded immediatley. i made small talk and i said i was sorry about removing her on fb and i just said that i was really upset at something and i removed her becuase of that. She then questioned why i removed her becuase it didnt make sense. So i decided f'it im just ganna tell her the truth.

So i told her that i really like her and i removed her because i was upset that she had a bf. I told her i really felt bad for removing her and asked her how she felt about me..and that i would not take it the wrong way no matter what her answer was. She basicly took 30 minutes to say she was seeing someone...and also her facebook status said "single"...

I just said that i was fine with her having a bf and that she was a really good friend.

The good thing is that when i talked to her...i felt much much better. i was really feeling depressed holding my emotions to myself.. and it felt like i vommited my negative emotions out and im totally feel much better.
Also i think this is like the first time that when a girl rejected me ...i swear ..i felt no hate for her.

if this girl ever needed a kidney...i would be first in line to give her mine

While I completely empathize and sympathize, as I have gone through it myself 20 years ago, I can't seem to understand why you were so hesitant all these months.
In the real world, you snooze you lose. Don't be the nice guy everyone treats as a friend. Don't be such a friend for goodness sake! If a girl likes you but doesn't respect you,
she is not gonna date you! You need to earn some respect! There was once a girl who didn't know me much, but thought I was "nice". I was interested in her, so I told her
very bluntly that I wasn't interested in friendship. She smiled, and I just kissed her right there. She was SHOCKED, but fell in love with me. Most girls are insecure, so they
tend to be more nervous in front of guys they like. You need to exploit this fact.