I cant move on, please help me

[parkertammy2010]

Okay I wanted to share my story. I’m hurt really bad and just need to vent. I don’t have many friends to talk to about the situation.
Im 30 years old and female. I’ve had 2 long-term relationships in my life. I was with S from the time I was 18-20. I was with C from the time I was 21-26. Im so use to being in a relationships and I miss it so badly. I took a long break after I got out of my 5 year relationship. I took time to be by myself casually date here and there, and to go to school. I was really ready to date again.From 2006- 2009 I met two more guys and tried to get in a relationship…both guys screwed me over and dumped me. I took another break from dating for almost 2 years.

December 2010 I met a guy on an online dating site. The first date went great and he seemed so excited to meet me. He called everyday about 10 times a day, and he paid me more attention than I have ever had. I met his friends and family, and hung out with him about 3 times a week. He seemed like he cared so much and he talked about our future and all the things we were going to do. I was so happy that I ignored a lot of flaws in him…..he was very stubborn, would not compromise, everything had to be his way. He didn’t really seem to care about my opinions. When I would tell him a concern he would ignore me and would not respond. I kept complaining about stuff because he wouldn’t respond. He put a lot of demands on me. He would get mad because I didn’t want to spend the night at his house, cook or clean for him…it was just too soon for that. Im a student and i was too tired for that at nighttime after class. I was sexually active with him though. I regret that. I thought he was going to stick around. I always had to drive to his house because he said he was too tired to pick me up…he lived 10 minutes away.

Last week he told me that he is so happy to know me…….Well he just dumped me last week. He said that he was tired of arguing with me and that we are 2 different people….and that we moved to fast and needed to develop a friendship. He does not want to work things out now. We talked on the phone 10 times a day so I thought we were developing a friendship.
How does a person go from liking me to dumping my in a week? How did he just turn his feelings off like that. After he dumped me he still called for a few days, which gave me a glimmer of hope that he would take me back. He told me that he is sometimes cold like that and it’s just part of his personality. He said that we shouldnt have arguments in a relationship that is ony 2.5 months. He would cause a lot of the drama.

Well I miss him. When he was nice he was really nice, and I miss it. He acted like he cared so much, so why wouldn’t he want to be with me. I’m truly depressed. I need help and guidance and advice. How can I move on. I keep crying. Help me make sense of this situation.

Seems like I will never find love

[parkertammy2010]

I will be too scared to date again after this situation

[jayjaym]

i wouldnt give up at all, my 4 year relationship ended just this week and it seems like il never get over it but i will because i know there are good people out there and all it takes is time.

[DarkHelmet82]

thats kind of how my last relatiobship ended... she went frim telling me she loved me and was super attracted to me to breaking up with me because she didnt have feelings for me the next day! i know exactly how you feel and it sucks... but it gets better... go back on the dating site... youll find someone better... he sounded likeva jerk anyway

[parkertammy2010]

i wouldnt give up at all, my 4 year relationship ended just this week and it seems like il never get over it but i will because i know there are good people out there and all it takes is time.

There are good people in the world. I'm just scared to meet more bad ones. I know my mistake, i shouldnt have rushed into a realtionship with him. I will continue to date. And good luck to you as well!

[parkertammy2010]

I feel confused and betrayed. As i think about it he treated me pretty bad and he was a jerk. It seems like i was willing to accept it because i wanted a relationship really bad. I will go back to dating. I wont go on the rebound, but i will continue to search for potential partners.

[steviej]

Good for you. My heartbreak has just started, be a very long time before I'm ready to start seeing people again.

[parkertammy2010]

Steviej, im sorry for your loss, and i hope you feel better soon.

For me, i guess since the relationship was shorterm (2.5 monthes) i will be able to move on more quickly. I liked him a lot, but there wasnt love there yet. Only puppy love. I still miss him though. I just dont understand why he turned his emotions off so quickly. I just find myself waiting with the cell phone in hopes that he will call, but i know deep down that it is over.

I find myself looking for reasons to blame myself for the failure of the realtionship. Like maybe i should have spoke up for myself or complained....maybe i should have done what he requested. But i know that i would be hurt even more if i did that. I miss him badly though.

[parkertammy2010]

I guess i was in love with the idea of having a relationship. Its been a long time since i felt loved.

[tmj99]

Hi. To me it sounds like you did nothing wrong and he just wasn't the right person for you. I've just gone through - am going through - an unusual situation ( see my thread) where I thought I had found the perfect person for my needs. Like you in your last post now I am just starting to wonder if I only saw the good things because I was so in love with the idea of a relationship, or in my case the part of the relationship I was seeking.

Hang in there, you sound like a nice and caring person and I'm sure the right person is out there for you. It always amazes me how nice people sometimes seem to struggle to find someone while shallow people seem to have no trouble at all!

[parkertammy2010]

Thanks,tmj99. I read your thread and i wish you the best of luck. I know its hard to let go of love. For me i need to know how long its going to take for the hurt to go away

[butterfly81]

I'm in the same boat I split up with my ex in January I had a date last night and I wasn't in the right frame of mind after an hour I has to say to him that I wasnt ready it was only fair as I didn't want to waste any of his time .I think I need time to heal and to be confident in myself and my single status .I need to sort my own life out before I put my self out there for others as it's only fair .

[parkertammy2010]

butterfly81
I know what you mean. I was talking to a new guy friend on the phone, but i honestly was not ready for the conversation. I kept comparing him to my ex. Im still so hurt, but i want to move on now. I'll heal as i go.....I just want to keep dating and move on.

[parkertammy2010]

Well the ex called me to say "I havent heard from you in a while, how are you doing, just wanted to check up on you?"......I didnt have much to say, and the conversation lasted 2 or 3 minutes thats all. I couldnt be friendly to someone that hurt me so bad.