How does she feel?

[anon135]

Alright, kind of a lengthy story but I'll try to make it as concise as possible. I'm having some real trouble figuring out what my best friend is truly feeling. I'm a guy and my best friend of the last two years is a girl who is has been going out with a good friend of mine for this time. Over the course of our friendship I have fallen for her although it was never my intention.

Minus the sex, we are basically boyfriend and girlfriend for all constructive purposes. We'll often hang out with each other several times a week, exchange texts almost daily, and she started saying "I love you" to me for quite some time before I would reply with the same, but I assume she meant this as friends. I now say it back to her, but I truly mean it as more than friends.

Over the course of our friendship no real dishonesty has occurred. The only thing that has happened is that I gave her a simple and quick kiss one night on the way home from a bar. She was egging me on to kiss her, and I did. We had both had a few drinks. Whenever people see us together they assume we're more involved than just friends. Friends have asked me if we've had sex and I've said no which is the truth and people who have just met us assume the same. She had recently asked me to go out to California with her this summer but I declined, and her boyfriend is not and will not be going. When she was out there a few months ago she'd text me things like "I'd sell my soul for you to be here" and text me that she misses me almost daily, although some of these texts may have been when she was drinking so take it for what it is.

I finally told her one night how I felt. I didn't expect her to break up with her boyfriend and I didn't expect us to have sex or anything on that level. I just wanted some genuine honesty on what was going on between us. She didn't respond with the same or anything for that matter. The next week our friendship was a little off but after that we're even closer than ever now. When we were drinking one night we were playing truth or dare as if we were 14, but I asked her about something she told me she had said in California. She had, while drunk, said "I think I'm going out with the wrong person" which I assume again was just a joke. When I asked if she meant it, she said "Well, you're nicer and [her boyfriend] can be mean sometimes. I don't know what you want me to say to this."

So, I can't get into this girls brain. Sometimes I'll think we'll always be just friends, but then she may do or say something that hints in the other direction. I'm not particularly interested in stealing a girlfriend from a good friend, I just want some honesty. What is your opinion on this? Thanks in advance.

[Flowercat]

Well its a very difficult situation. Im in the exact same situation myself, although im the girl, and he is the guy.
From my point of view. it will never be easy for you to be in a friendship with her, when you have these feeling for her, and specially not when
she is sending these mixed signals. When you have told her exact how you feel and she hasnt left or told you back that she likes you that way 2, its
propbaly because she likes you, but not enough. Because if you go into a relationship, you will loose it all, and each other. The question is are you willing to live with her
forever, only as her friend? even though it might hurt like hell sometimes? if your question is yes, and you cant live with out her, then realise this, and think realistic. If its meant to be, it will happen, but right now, it seems like its not the time for you guys?