Is This Girl Worth Pursuing? I Cannot Gauge Her Interest

[Styl]

I volunteered with this girl at a non-profit for several months, but only recently got to talk to her. 3 weeks, ago, all the volunteers went out for lunch. Last week, I texted her to invite her out in another group hang out with other volunteers. She responded to my text saying she could not make it. After a minute, she sent me another text saying if I wanted to hang out with her during weekdays after work that she'd like to as well. I responded, "Is this ____ asking me out? I think ____ is asking me out. haha I will think about it." (It was a joke) Then I followed up that text and said, "Yeah, I thought about it and I will hang out with you."

She sounded serious after that. She said, "No I didn't mean it that way. And you're not my type." I said to her, "Why so serious? lol." then she said "I just didn't want any confusion. but I can be your arm candy in public haha jk." Our convo got a lil weird after that. I texted her a few more times to inquire if she really meant that as in she wasn't interested, but never asked her directly. She never answered directly either. Then we ended the convo.

I didn't talk to her until a week later at a volunteer appreciation lunch this past weekend. By coincidence, she and I came in late and so we had to stand in line together to order our food. We talked for about 15 mins or so of light talk. 2 days later, I sent her a text around 10pm asking if she likes Spaghetti. I checked my phone and it said the msg was delivered 2 mins later. She didn't respond. I took it as her lack of interest and got rid of her number.

The next morning, she sends me a very long text and tells me she went out with co-workers to a baby shower party and that she didn't realize she received a text. She also said she likes spaghetti but likes Alfredo more. So I asked her if she wants to get some alfredo on Friday night. She responded hours after her work ended, and said that she has a party to go to on a friday night. She then asked me if I am craving alfredo. I said yes, the ones with shrimp in it.

Do I give her a call next week? Continue to text and flirt with her throughout this week? Drop her? I cannot gauge her interest level. I thought she was interested in the way beginning until my horrific joke. I hate liking a girl cuz I cannot think straight. Help me out here please

[devonbrown]

It doesn't sound like she is interested in anything other than a friendship. She has already told you that you are not her type, so take that as the truth.

Her not responding back immediately is not a big deal though. Too many people make a big deal of that. Not everyone revolves their life around their phone.

Good luck.

[Styl]

It doesn't sound like she is interested in anything other than a friendship. She has already told you that you are not her type, so take that as the truth.

Her not responding back immediately is not a big deal though. Too many people make a big deal of that. Not everyone revolves their life around their phone.

Good luck.

She's kinda young and doesn't have much dating experience. Never had a boyfriend. Perhaps I thought she may have felt like being put on the spot so she said that to avoid embarrassment? I mean that'd be the sense I got at the time.

[devonbrown]

That is a possibility. But it is also possible that you think that might be the case because you want it to be the case. Just stay friendly with her and play it cool.

[Styl]

I thought a lot about it this morning, and whether she said i wasn't her type because she was embarrassed or because she's too young or whatever, the bottom line is that i need to just run with what's been said. if she didn't mean it, she will hopefully learn in the future. if she did mean it then woe to me. regardless, this is uncharacteristic of me to be worked up over a girl this way... not anymore at least.

i deleted her number and all the text history. it's done. if anything was to happen, she'd be the one who has to call.

[MsShar737]

Hi Styl, I have a suggestion. Why don't you just be up front and ask her if she is in a relationship or seeing anyone. I think she knows you're interested in her. But, I don't see the same in return on her end. I'm not sure if she is already with someone or just stringing you along. One thing I will tell you about girls, we like being liked. Based on what you have said, I can't see where she has expressly shown interest in you. I do, however, understand what you may feel for her. That is why you need to put yourself out there and ask otherwise you will just be wondering. If she says yes well you know at this point. If she says no, then that is your opportunity to officially let her know that you are interested in her and ask if she is interested in going out with you and then gauge her from there. I think it should be self explanatory from there.

[Styl]

Hi Styl, I have a suggestion. Why don't you just be up front and ask her if she is in a relationship or seeing anyone. I think she knows you're interested in her. But, I don't see the same in return on her end. I'm not sure if she is already with someone or just stringing you along. One thing I will tell you about girls, we like being liked. Based on what you have said, I can't see where she has expressly shown interest in you. I do, however, understand what you may feel for her. That is why you need to put yourself out there and ask otherwise you will just be wondering. If she says yes well you know at this point. If she says no, then that is your opportunity to officially let her know that you are interested in her and ask if she is interested in going out with you and then gauge her from there. I think it should be self explanatory from there.

She's single and she's not seeing anyone. If you read more carefully, I said that she is willing to hang out with me but also that I am not her type.

[xxazurexx]

If she told you that you aren't her type, then believe her. She has been 'honest' with you...what else is it you seek?

She sees you as just a mate.

[devonbrown]

Styl, I don't understand why you have to delete her phone number and the text history though? Why is that a necessity for you?

[Styl]

Styl, I don't understand why you have to delete her phone number and the text history though? Why is that a necessity for you?

So I don't text her any longer and make full out of myself. Im fickle so sometimes I get tempted to call her and directly ask her out. I usually end up making a fool out of myself. Plus I have no interest in just being friends with her. I want her. I dont want her as a friend.

[devonbrown]

Styl, I understand if you don't want to be friends with her. But if you can't control yourself from texting or calling her, that could be a bigger problem.

Either way, it sounds like you know where you stand and what you are going to do. Good luck!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I think she was giving you an opening in the beginning but you turned her off by making a complete ass of yourself by asking her if she was asking you out, when it's pretty clear that's what you were doing in the first place. After your "Let me think about it" texts, she probably thought you are a cocky prick ; either that or just a douchebag. Seems like she's still open to hanging out, so maybe you can change the light she sees you in, but you should probably just move on.

[Styl]

i dont have her number anymore. I tried contacting her and i directly already asked her out to dinner if you read my OP above. She didn't propose an alternative day so im just gonna leave it at that and move on with my life.