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Thread: Why did she mention someone else?

  1. #1
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    Why did she mention someone else?

    At the beginning of the week I met this girl.
    I'll really make things short, because it's a rather interesting and unusual acquaintanceship.
    She is 27 y/o, 3 years older than me. I'm mentioning this fact because she is very mature, very straight forward, and knows what she wants from herself.
    Few days ago we decided to meet at the weekend, and since then we talked every day, even today she called.
    Today, during the conversation, she suddenly mentioned that she met this REALLY cute guy the other day, that they had an amazing chemistry, but he was too strange so it was a no-no. In other words, she is looking for other guys other than me, and she's saying it to my face! What the hell?!

    Why would she mention some "cute guy" she met? What's the point? She knows I'm into her, and she is obviously into me. We both know we're talking to each other in order to try and move things forward.. and she's not the playing games type of woman.

    I'm so confused. What's the meaning of this?

    Thanks in advance girls!
    Last edited by ThomYorke; 07-04-11 at 03:58 AM.

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    I don't think she is as into you as you might hope. Sorry.

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    Sounds to me like she doesn't see you "that way", otherwise she wouldn't have said that.

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    Looks like you're in Friend Camp. Sorry bro -

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThomYorke View Post
    she is obviously into me. We both know we're talking to each other in order to try and move things forward.
    How are you so sure of this? Maybe she does see you as a friend.

    If she is into you, maybe you're getting a little too clingy and she wanted to make it clear she's still seeing other people.

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    I'm so sorry to say this but it seems as others suggested above, she is not interested.

    Heres another thing men never understand, if a woman is talking to you and even hanging out with you, it doesnt mean shes after anything. She just enjoys your company.

    I really doubt a woman would even contemplate mentioning any other man to the guy she likes.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MerryH View Post
    How are you so sure of this? Maybe she does see you as a friend.

    If she is into you, maybe you're getting a little too clingy and she wanted to make it clear she's still seeing other people.
    How do I know?
    On the second time we talked, I kinda came over the top and asked her out. She was pretty shocked because she didn't see it coming. After some mumbling, she said that on the one hand, she really want to, because I seem like a very interesting guy, and she gave me all sort of compliments in addition to that, and on the other hand, she just finished a very long relationship, so she don't really want to see other men right now. A minute later, she said lets do this. Any more bigger hint than that?
    Afterwards, by how the things went, it seemed like she's into giving it a chance (as mentioned, we're suppose to meet at the weekend).

    So basically, nothing really changed by my part.. maybe she did some thinking and got into conclusion she is really not into me right now, or she was too reckless with her decision, or she just changed her mind about me.. who knows.

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    So what's the game? What did she try to accomplish with this move? To make me jealous? To show me that I'm not alone in the competition?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThomYorke View Post
    How do I know?
    On the second time we talked, I kinda came over the top and asked her out. She was pretty shocked because she didn't see it coming. After some mumbling, she said that on the one hand, she really want to, because I seem like a very interesting guy, and she gave me all sort of compliments in addition to that, and on the other hand, she just finished a very long relationship, so she don't really want to see other men right now. A minute later, she said lets do this. Any more bigger hint than that?
    Afterwards, by how the things went, it seemed like she's into giving it a chance (as mentioned, we're suppose to meet at the weekend).

    So basically, nothing really changed by my part.. maybe she did some thinking and got into conclusion she is really not into me right now, or she was too reckless with her decision, or she just changed her mind about me.. who knows.
    Sounds like she didn't think of you as a potential date, given that she was so surprised. She likes you, but probably not in that way, and probably made a mistake in agreeing to go out with you when she isn't actually interested. The fact that she talked about the cute and other possibilities is a very clear sign that you are in the Friend Zone. But since you don't seem ready to believe that, you might as well keep trying. Go for a kiss next time you are together, see how that goes.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThomYorke View Post
    On the second time we talked, I kinda came over the top and asked her out. She was pretty shocked because she didn't see it coming. After some mumbling, she said that on the one hand, she really want to, because I seem like a very interesting guy, and she gave me all sort of compliments in addition to that, and on the other hand, she just finished a very long relationship, so she don't really want to see other men right now. A minute later, she said lets do this.
    So, she was shocked and not elated. She had to debate it, she gave you reasons why she isn't interested in a relationship, and it took her a minute to say 'lets do this' (I'm betting she was commenting on something else, not on the going out part. Either that, or she made a bad snap-decision and probably knew it)

    You're definitely in Friend Camp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VincenzoG91 View Post
    Go for a kiss next time you are together, see how that goes.
    Please do! And post back your results.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThomYorke View Post
    So what's the game? What did she try to accomplish with this move? To make me jealous? To show me that I'm not alone in the competition?
    Exactly, iit's like you already knew. Strange how you mentioned she was stright forward and what not, knows what she wants and all. Look at how she answered you asking her out,"She was pretty shocked because she didn't see it coming. After some mumbling, she said that on the one hand, she really want to, because I seem like a very interesting guy, and she gave me all sort of compliments in addition to that, and on the other hand, she just finished a very long relationship, so she don't really want to see other men right now. A minute later, she said lets do this." That doesn't sound like a person too sure to me. I'm sure you were excited she agreed to go out with you but she's seems up in the air about it to me. Anyone fresh out of a relationship is always a toss up, especially an older more mature person I'd think.

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    So what should I do? Keep it cool like nothing happened and, as mentioned, try to go for a kiss?

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    lol, I'm so bad at those kind of things! ^_^

    She said earlier, when we had that "cute guy" talk (on facebook), that she'll be back later and we'll talk if i'll be online.
    About 20 minutes ago she connected, none of us sent a message, she disconnected. After 10 min she went online again, now I disconnected. :p

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    I think that any cautious and slow course of action will definitely lead to the Friend Zone. If I were you, I would either cut my losses or really go for it. And by go for it, I mean: I ask her out on a date, with the clear understanding that it will be a date. Flirt with her from time to time whenever you communicate, and on the date, put some moves on her. Some light physical contact, like kissing her hand when you first meet up. By the end of the date, look for that kiss-me look in her eyes, and if you're not sure, go for the kiss anyway.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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