Celibacy

[Y52]

Just curious as to how many people refrain from having sex, or how they feel about it!

The way I feel about it is I wouldn't go out and go at it with people; I would have to have known them for a while at first; and it would just have to "happen"... it wouldn't be my goal. If I never had sex before marriage it would be fine with me (after which she better not be expecting to walk for a month or two).

[confused101]

Celibacy is your choice, it doesn't matter who does or who doesn't. If you feel strongly about not having sex before marriage, than ok. If you really want to experience sex before marriage than ok. It really is a personal choice. One I don't relaly understand, but I respect.

[Junket]

(after which she better not be expecting to walk for a month or two).

Are you implying you'd just be bangin' her in the ass the entire time?

EDIT: Would ass banging be even considered 'sex'? Because people who want to stay a 'virgin' up until marriage mayl engage in oral and anal sex cause it 'doesn't count'.

[Nice Lover Boy]

Celibacy is your choice, it doesn't matter who does or who doesn't. If you feel strongly about not having sex before marriage, than ok. If you really want to experience sex before marriage than ok. It really is a personal choice. One I don't relaly understand, but I respect.

Yup, seems "confused" to me allright. I have had sex before marriage with my ex, 2 friends, and to married women. I can go on if I would like, but emotions and feelings for my best friend takes me to the point that I want to settle down. But sex is an activity that is available before marriage and I do what I do when I do it.

[sfalexi]

Just don't be a bitch like my ex and lie about the fact that you want to remain celibate until marriage (She told me she didn't mind sex before marriage as long as it was within a very good relationship, I got really ****in' frustrated when the relationship kept going and there wasn't any sex, and after we broke up she said she really wanted to wait until marriage.)

So be honest upfront.

[Fawn]

I never really wanted to wait till marriage. The only this I was waiting for was to be with someone that I trust and that would understand that I was nervous about losing it. I did find the right guy and he was very careful about it and made sure I was 100% comfortable before I did it. I may not be with him now, but we are still good friends. I do not regret my choice and never will.

In my opinion I always believed that there was a fault when it came to waiting till marriage. There's always the possibility that once you are married, you may end up being incompatible in the sexual field. Its happened to people before. I just think its best to know if they can physically please you, as well as mentally and emotionally.

[Wojtek]

I do agree with Fawn.

I find the prictice of waiting till marriage old-fashioned. Not many girls did I used to go out with. But I never intended to wait for the first sexual contact with the girl I was currently in the relationship with. Why? I find sex very pleasant not only for me, but for my girlfriend too. There is no use waiting till marriage. Life is very short and sex is worth practising it. It makes no difference if the girl you decided to have sex with is the one you will marry. Even if you relation with this girl breaks up, you will have a feeling you made something great, assuming, that the girl wanted to haxe sex too.

Here in Poland, there is very few girls that want to keep their virginity till the marriage. Most of girls follows the need of sexual pleasant and have sex with their partner earlier. Some girls decide to do it after 1, 2, 3, or more months from the moment they start to know their current boyfriend. But there are many girls who have sex on the first meeting, sometimes in a disco.

I do not look down on them. This is their own choice and their own life.

[Nice Lover Boy]

I do agree with Fawn.

I find the prictice of waiting till marriage old-fashioned. Not many girls did I used to go out with. But I never intended to wait for the first sexual contact with the girl I was currently in the relationship with. Why? I find sex very pleasant not only for me, but for my girlfriend too. There is no use waiting till marriage. Life is very short and sex is worth practising it. It makes no difference if the girl you decided to have sex with is the one you will marry. Even if you relation with this girl breaks up, you will have a feeling you made something great, assuming, that the girl wanted to haxe sex too.

Here in Poland, there is very few girls that want to keep their virginity till the marriage. Most of girls follows the need of sexual pleasant and have sex with their partner earlier. Some girls decide to do it after 1, 2, 3, or more months from the moment they start to know their current boyfriend. But there are many girls who have sex on the first meeting, sometimes in a disco.

I do not look down on them. This is their own choice and their own life.

Poland, welcome to the States. It's nice to see new people from other countries. Anyways, I am Nice Lover Boy and this is how we get down.

[nomas]

I believe this before/after marriage line that is drawn for sex is absurd in the way morals are absurd to me. It is just rules made by man that has become a standard or a point of reference for everyone to measure against. Just as much as marriage itself, what most people agree on what it's rules are. People don't set their own rules, they are predetermined.

In the spirit of breaking away from that, I make my own moral rules. These are ones of reponsibility and accountability. Take responsibility for your actions and don't do things which will be harmful to others...physically, emotionally, or any other way I may have left out.

So my issue with sex "before marriage", to use that barometer: Sex produces children. Children who don't ask to come into the world and who I believe you should be responsible for if you are his/her parent. That's my only qualm against sex and is why I don't go out and pursue sex vigorously as the majority of people do. It's not that I'm not ready to be a parent. Most parents aren't, even when they plan one. It's doubly worse if you're not planning a kid. Right now it's about me being selfish and wanting my life to be for me, right now. When I have a kid, my life will be about raising my baby until he/she's old enough to be on her/his own and a character will be defined and I've done about all I could.

So it's about the responsibility of parenthood to me.

Now I know you'll say that there are ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies, and I agree, there are methods as good as 99% effective. So in this respect, to me, it's a matter of risk. Do I want to risk a 1% probability that my plans will be thrown out the window and life changed, or do I hold out?

I guess I'm past my horniest ages, I've already held back for 26 years, I think I can hold on for the duration, if I desire.

Now, do I desire that? No, I don't. I don't want to go my entire life without such a big part of human existence. If my quest right now is to learn as much as I can about myself included with everything I take in, not having sex will limit a lot of my experiences...as well as not drinking/smoking/drug usage. And here I have more choices to make.

But I digress..

Back to the topic. Right now I'm holding out for the reasons I gave. I think when I have sex for the first time, things will change..my views will change, I probably won't be able to hold off from the desire to get it as much as I can, like most guys do. So ideally, I'll allow myself meaningful sex, with someone I've known and have a pretty good idea of who the woman is and that we could raise a child together in relative peace if the ideal "traditional home" isn't an option. But I'm also afraid that once I have sex that first time I'll begin to get more and more careless, leaving the opportunity open for a potential pregnancie.

It's like playing with fire...you may not always get burned..you can be careful and not get burned..until you get careless. But if you don't play with fire at all, you won't get burned.

Freds

[blue]

Nomas,
Wow you said it all in a nutshell really, and if that is the right choice for you then its just that the right choice for you in your life. I think its great, and you are right. When you have sex its a big responsibility an abstinence is 100% effective.
wow if i died a virgin though then i guess i died a virgin it would make no difference once you are 6 feet under. life is short but it shouldnt be based on the things you havent done but the things that you are doing and have done i dunno the thought of life being to short...its short when u die from aids or some shit like that.
but then you know i was thinking ok u get married and this dosent nessesarly mean that you are ready for children, ( arent ever fully ready 4 that) theres alot of children from married people that were darned accidents.

[IKnowEverything]

I honestly could not refrain from sex. My nuts would explode.