Celibacy

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Ok so for about two months now I've been seriously considering and debating the idea of becoming celibate. Whenever I would ask someone what they thought of it they would be like, "for how long?" and I would respond with forever. Tonight I made up my mind and felt it would be best to go ahead and declare myself as celibate. I told my best friend and she seemed less than thrilled, in fact she got very quiet after telling her so I think she disapproves, the two other people I told were pretty indifferent and just said to go with whatever I felt would be best. I just want to get some responses on how everyone feels about the celibacy issue and if you think its a reasonable decision for a 19 year old male. Any feedback is appreciated.

[Killerbabe]

You know the answer, Zekk. I think you just like the part of shocking everyone by declaring that you're off the market...forever. Well, congratualtions! More than 60% of people will become quiet and dissaprove and try to convince you that it's not the way to deal with your problems. Go ahead and enjoy pitying and differentiating yourself, if it makes it easier.

[leight69]

Although I have not studied the matter, I have several friends who are in pyschology, and they've talked about people who are either celebate/abstain for prolongued periods of time. And the huge impact it has on their pysche. Apparently there are studies out there, which show the adverse effects of such a choice. I would recommend you have a look.

That being said I have VERY limited experience with women, I'm super shy around them. I've only ever had sex with one person, and I can count on one hand the number of women I've kissed. (I'm 21)...so that doesnt mean, make sure you get lots.

What it means is, its not necessarily a wise choice to make. But even my friends who are "players" go through dry spells.

I would suggest that before you label yourself as celebate, that you research the subject a bit more, because it will affect you.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Killer, that's not the reason at all that I've been thinking about this and I'm really insulted by your reply.

Leight, thank you for your post. I'll look into it and see what I come up with.

[leight69]

you're welcome.

Something else to consider, what are the benefits to you of being celebate?

you won't ever get hurt or an STI....but you wont ever be able to have children...you will never be able to "fully develop" any potential relationship with anyone.

as i indicated in my previous post, the human body is desinged to reproduce. we are designed to enjoy close contact with another human being, it is not "natural" for a human being to be celebate.

That being said there are many things we do that are not natural, and sometimes the positives outweight the negatives in those situations. Obviously these are questions only you can answer.

Also to what extent will you end contact with people? A hug? A kiss?

Just a few more things to think about.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Hugs would pretty much be the extent of things. The reason why I feel like this decision would be best is because I get so insanely uncomfortable with such close intimate relations and I've never been able to successfully maintain any kind of close relationship so it feels almost as though I just don't want it or can't handle it so I thought it might be best to just forget about it now instead of keeping on hoping for things that won't happen or that will make me uncomfortable.

[Illusional]

hrmm... like killer i feel that is out of place. i think that you can do what you want but then sex is a GREAT part of life and you're missing out.. haha more fun for me. raverboy

[Killerbabe]

I'm really sorry, Zekk...I din't mean to insult you. It just seems to me that you're trying to shelter yourself from love... anyway, I am happy in love I just want everyone esle to be too, eapecially you, cause I see the potential in you.

Well...it's up to you really, but it's just too bad for all the girls out there.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Well, I've done some research and medically it really isn't a good idea at all. So I might give someone else another shot or I may just masturbate and stay celibant from actual sex of any kind. I dunno, I still have a lot of thinking to do.

[leight69]

what?!?! you were considering giving up masterbating too?!?!

ok, now that's just not realistic my friend!

[Zekk_T_Strife]

That's what being truly celibant entails. I figured that nocturnal emissions would happen if things really needed released but I'm not willing to suffer prostate problems a few decades down the line. Still trying to make up my mind about the sex or no sex ever issue but I now know I need to masturbate just to stay healthy.

[Illusional]

release of sexual tension is always a good thing. it's like when you hold your piss too long, it will only give you problems later down the road. raverboy

[Zekk_T_Strife]

Thank you for that profound and insightful reply. Lol, I can always count on you lighten the mood somehow.

[Illusional]

being serious is my worst enemy. raverboy