Complicated, stretched and suffocating. Should I carry on or not?

[Terarus]

My girlfriend and I have been living together (with my family) for nearly 2years now. We have been very happy for most of the time until recently. Since she went back to visit her family in singapore in nov, our relationship has turned for the worse. She said it was the freedom and fun that she had in singapore that made her feel less attached to me and grew quite distant to me. Luckily, we met up in HK in feb for a short one month holiday where I managed to turn things around with valentines and our anniversary. But that was short lived as she grew very close with this guy she met in a club when she was in singapore who was also studying in syd. When we went back to syd in mar, it was horrible. I should say that it was my fault as well, but i grew exceptionally paranoid about the guy whom i said was interested in her (she confirmed that when she told me he wanted her since singapore n was determined to wait for her in syd). This led to bitter arguments and constant emo sessions between us. A number of times she told me she loves me only and that the guy was like a side dish and not bf material like me. I trusted her then only to see it torn apart when i found out that they made out (sex) after meeting.

Then comes the extremely hard part. I know i've been cheated on. But i really love the woman. She said that that was the only time and she wont do anything more with him and that she wants to continue our relationship. But the problem was that they continue to sms, chat online...flirt with each other. This again just me super emo which then led to further arguments where we would say terrible stuff to each other. Now she tells me she doesnt feel the same for me anymore and has already decided to move out. However, she also says that she wont cheat on me anymore and that an "idiot" inside her tells her that we can work even if the chances are less than none. I dont know what to do. Im tired of arguing, im tired of worrying about being cheated on. Breaking up definitely came to mind and im sure some of you would suggest it. She also said that i can dump her butif i dont, i have to live with the fear of stuff like this happening as she likes to have fun and stuff...

I dont want to break up.
It feels like suicide to break when i love her still
but our relationship has really turned for the worse
i dont know how to handle us, she has cheated on me, continues to see that guy and has grown distant to me
YET she still wants to continue our relationship
But i dont want to be a puppet

PS: i dont know if this is relevant but we continue to have really gd sex even when she ignores me mentally...like we can get intimate but have little to say afterwards...i dunno if sex helps in rebuilding a relationship.

[DarkHelmet82]

let me get this straight..

1. she left you and told you she was feeling detached.. you try and get her back
2. she cheats on you.. you try and get her back
3. she lies to you and says it never will happen agin. you try and get her back
4. you cant trust her.. you try and get her back

you see the common theme here? she doesnt want to be with you and is treating you like garbage. She is throwing you scraps off the table and you are willingly groveling for them.

I feel for you man I really do and I wish I could tell you different.. but I am keeping it real dude.

Find someone who will treat you right.. move on.. good luck

[EmptyInside]

Once a cheater always a cheater. I deeply advice you to cut all your contact with her, go NC. Really try hard dude, if you love someone you let them go. You will be a better person! A strong, confident, non-emo one!. Look at me, after 1 month of breakup I feel great, I could even say awesome! I'm flirting with girls at school most of the time, and it's something I have missed for like 2 years. Be strong my friend and don't let her tempt you again. Just my point of view..

[steviej]

Get angry, get rid. Use the energy positively and you'll have a great time! The drive that getting angry with someone who's cheated on you gives you is great!
You'll feel a big weight lifted once you kick her disrespectful, cheating ass out.

[Lifetime]

I don't see why you still want to be with this girl after she cheated on you. I would give this girl a big "**** you" and walk away. I don't know you, but you sound like you deserve much better.

[BeingAlpha]

Dude... have good good sex with her - but don't maintain the relationship. The relationship is already over... might not be from your side -- but its over from hers... sorry.

[robFord]

Don't have sex with her. Don't talk to her. It's over and living in denial will only hurt you harder and longer. She doesn't love you no matter what she says because you don't do these things to the people you love. Stevej said it right, you need to focus your feelings about this girl and use it for something positive. How can you not be angry at her for what she's done to you? What's wrong with you? Stick up for yourself man.