Trust

[Cough Cool]

Relationship advice... or something I don't really know what Im asking.
Hello people. I'm very new here and don't look for advice often but I'm having some issues that I just can't really ignore.

I'll start by saying im madly in love with a girl and I believe she feels the same when we are together it's indiscribeable, it really is but... there's something thats happens a lot that I can't ignore and pretend it hasn't wounded it me very deeply infact it feels like my opinion of her has just been shattered.

Trust - Oh how important it is in a relationship

I'm out with the girl I love and loves me having a meal... A waiter comes by to take our order. Then leaves.

Girlfriend - "OMG Hes so HOT!... Sorry I just cant help my self"

Me - No response

Girlfriend - "Sorry"

Me - "its alright"

I can't pretend that this hasn't hurt me and that everthing is ok... I confronted her yesturday about it but It doesn't help.

I have this thing floating around in my head and I can't sleep... If shes like this around me, what is she like when Im not around?

I don't know what to do. From were im standing it seems like a lose lose situation for me.

What do you guys think?

I'm not sure if I trust her anymore.

Or am I being insane to think that if you say your with the love of your life that you don't do these things?... I don't know, nothing makes any sense

[steviej]

Insecurity on your part. If she loves you and you believe it you've got nothing to worry about. A fit girl can walk past and both me and my gf will comment on what a great ass/legs/tits she has, although i'll usually finish with 'yeah but her tits/legs/ass aren't as good as yours' which will usually get me a sarcastic raised eyebrow or tongue out!

Bottom line, she's comfortable to speak her mind, joke with her about it, don't get uptight and insecure, it's not attractive!

[DarkHelmet82]

why would you not trust her? she hasnt done anything? DONT BE POSSESIVE! you do that she will run for the hills.

[Cough Cool]

I understand what you guys are saying... HONESTLY

Go on a date with a girl and say that in a restaraunt and see how quickly it ends.

[DarkHelmet82]

I wouldnt say that.. but if i did it wouldnt mean anything.....I wouldnt just blurt out "wow shes hot." But if my girl asked what i thought I would be honest.

[Cough Cool]

People don't need to "do anything" in order for the trust to die... trust is know that she wont do anything and right now all im thinking is if shes a dog in front of me that gawps at hot guys and says hes hot it not a observational way but LIKE OMG HES SO HOT...

WHAT IF ONE OF THESE HOT GUYS CHATS HER UP IN A BAR... The whole I cant control my self is really killing me.

Try and be understanding people thats all I ask. Feelings are important and saying things like that is a sign that you just don't give a s***.

[Cough Cool]

I wouldnt say that.. but if i did it wouldnt mean anything.....I wouldnt just blurt out "wow shes hot." But if my girl asked what i thought I would be honest.

Well thats what she did... what am I meant to do. It still hurts, I know people think things but her saying it the way she did in a restarount... everyone around us was looking at me like im a mug.

[DarkHelmet82]

well thinking someone is hot and trying to hook up with them is completly different. I think a lot of women are hot but I wouldnt be unfaithful.... You have to take what you know about your girl and determine if shes the type to act out her impulses..... My girl has a lot of guy friends but I trust her. Trust is built upon and is a VITAL aspect of any successful relationship... without trust you have nothing... if you cant trust her than you should end it. you cant stay in a relationship where you are always doubting her motives....

How old is she?

[DarkHelmet82]

People don't need to "do anything" in order for the trust to die...

I completely disagree... if trust is that disposable then you never had it to begin with... just because you feel a certain way doesnt make it correct.. Feelings lie and so does your brain. trust is earned and once its earned it should take an event that would cause it to be broken.. not just some feelings of insecurity.

If i stop trusting someone because I am afraid they will do something or have a "feeling" I wouldnt have ANY relationships... thats a bad way to live dude.

you are assuming the worst.. and as ive said repeatidly in other posts.. you should NEVER ASSUME.

[Cough Cool]

Im not insecure.

I have been with her for 2 years no issues what so ever. Her best friend is a guy I have no problem with that... she went on holiday with him last summer.

Those words are just ringing through my head and I keep seeing her face when she said it... I have never seen her make that face towards me, ever.

[DarkHelmet82]

well you are paranoid then.. she apologized after right? I would just tell her it bothered you and see if she shows remorse. I cant say it wouldnt bother me dude.. but i wouldnt stop trusting my girlfriend because of it.

[Cough Cool]

Ok.

So is it ok to say she's hot when I see a hot woman I can say that shes hot to the girl im with right?... From what I gather its seems like its all me and this is acceptable. Ill put it to the test.

[DarkHelmet82]

well life isnt about getting revenge or doing things out of spite.. but yeah I guess you could if you really want too... remember though dude.. women are different than men.. they think, act, talk, feel differently. They are screwy.... so tread water carefully.

[Cough Cool]

If she can do so will I... im tired of being worried, lets she how she likes it and if it gets her jelous or insecure.

Its alright to say its nothing when its not happening to you.

[Cough Cool]

We aren't different were all human... its just that society finds thinks acceptable for one gender do things and not another.

Im sure if a girl came on these forums and said the guy she was with says "OMG THAT WAITRESS IS HOT"... she would be getting different advice. Im tired of all this BS, if people dont want people to be insecure they need to stop making them insecure.