What do you think about relationships where the guy/girl doesn't allow...

[meant to be]

What do you think about relationships where the guy/girl doesn't allow their partner to have friends of the opposite sex. Or even contact with the opposite sex?
I know a couple like this and they've been together for a year. Do you think they can last?

[Spring Haze]

Did this couple have to give up any friends they had prior to the relationship? In what way is "contact" being used?

[hello1]

Yes me and my boyfriend do this. Simple fact is that there is temptation and feelings can get involved if you have friends of an opposite gender. I would say nearly every male friend I had, has tried it on with me and my boyfriend before me had gone out with his female friends.

People should not judge couples who have this rule.

[meant to be]

Did this couple have to give up any friends they had prior to the relationship? In what way is "contact" being used?

Yes, the guy cannot talk to any other girls including me. He told me before she'd get mad if he was even hanging out with his cousin thats a girl. Contact as in just talking or hanging out.

[Spring Haze]

So apparently she's afraid he will not only stray, but commit incest. Sure it can last, if they're equally codependent. The important thing though, is whether or not it can be a healthy relationship, and the answer is no.

[hello1]

Yes, the guy cannot talk to any other girls including me. He told me before she'd get mad if he was even hanging out with his cousin thats a girl. Contact as in just talking or hanging out.

Leave them alone, he agreed to it and obviously the woman he loves is more important than his girl friends. Get your own boyfriend and maybe you won't care what your 'friend' does

[Cinnabella]

I was like that, and I don't trust a pure friendship between men/women, I have been proven all my life.

[Cerby]

I don't think making new opposite-sex friends is ok, but I think if you have some friends going into the relationship of the opposite sex you should be allowed to keep them. One of my best friends is a female who I have never had anything with beyond a solid friendship, and I would be upset if asked to kick her aside.

That said, I have an ex who I dated who was good friends with mostly guys, and even one who she dated for a very short period of time. I trusted her enough not to confront her about it (it always worried me just a touch in the back of my mind), but she trusted me with my female friend, so I had no reason not to trust her with her guy friends.

But we weren't at all dependant on each other, so it was probably a different kind of relationship. We broke up for reasons completely unrelated to this type of issue.

[sookie6]

if this ban is as drastic and definite as described in the original post it seems a bit like obliging people to wearing a veil to prevent unwanted attention...thiese things don't work cos the one day someone wants to stray they do regardless of restrictions...

I would even say that a rule like this tempt people even more..maybe not at the bginning of a relationship but later when habits kills passion and people starts feeling suffocated by a relationship...

[Cerby]

To expand on Sookie's post

I too firmly believe if someone is going to cheat, its probably going to happen no matter what. Its not a problem with you, its a problem with them. Of course there are rules to every relationship to most people abide with, no 1 on 1 hangouts with new opposite-sex friends, no lying about where you've been, even if its innocent and you just want to avoid a fight, etc.

If the person you're with loves you and wants to be with you, this rules shouldn't need to be made, they should just simply exist. And honestly, I think varied friendship with the opposite sex is probably a good thing, just as long as you don't have a relationship past with those friends.

[girl68]

He has no sneaky on the side female friends but he has plenty of female friends I know, and we all hang out together and alone on a regular basis. I have male friends of the same degree.

[qwertz]

Leave them alone, he agreed to it and obviously the woman he loves is more important than his girl friends. Get your own boyfriend and maybe you won't care what your 'friend' does

Do you realise how immature this sounds?

[devonbrown]

Friendships do not need to be about gender. It is about trust in the other person. It sounds like this couple does not trust each other at all. And while it may be working for them right now, the lack of trust will come out in other ways. I am not sure a relationship without trust can last.