Messed Up Question

[MiWatt]

So I'm sharing a bed with a female friend in a hotel room fairly soon (I know it's weird, but it's happening). I really like her, and I'm fairly sure she really likes me. I'd like something to happen (not necessarily sex - I'd be more than happy just cuddling for the night) but I have no idea how to initiate things. I'm SERIOUSLY inexperienced when it comes to this and need help.

WTF am I meant to do? Asking her would be stupid. Touching her whilst sharing a bed could be awkward (and I mean...INCREDIBLY awkward) if she doesn't reciprocate, and I'd feel very "sex-offender-ish" doing it.

Maybe I'm just being a pussy and should jump on her. I'm sure most guys would probably tell me that, but I want female advice here. If you were sharing a bed with a close male friend and wanted something to happen, what would you expect/want him to do?

Help VERY MUCH appreciated.

[sookie6]

yes you need to be subtle but irresistible...first tip is to be fresh, clean and smell incredible...then you need to be absoloutely adorable to her...ask her if she has a favourite side of the bed, and if she would like you to book a movie on the TV (they usually do this don't they in hotel rooms)...have some chocolate on hand if she would like some...and possibly some soft drinks...make it a cosy night...she needs to feel pampered you know...I think she'll make a move for a cuddle after all this...

Of course it would help if you are sincerely kind and caring to her...not just scheming for sex...

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You need to initiate something before going to bed. Go in for a kiss while you're out during the night.

[sookie6]

You need to initiate something before going to bed. Go in for a kiss while you're out during the night.

I'm not sure about this...this might make the sharing the bed daunting to her if he makes a move before...I would wait and gain her trust gradually when in the room together..as you said your best option is to have a cuddly night rather than having sex...

[vashti]

Follow sookie's advice. Either get a scary movie, or a very romantic one. Both promote touching.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If you can't tell he wants to have sex with her, then you're just a moron. He never said his best option was "a cuddly night". All a cuddly night does is make both people wonder if the other really likes them. I don't think he should go for sex this time either, mainly because he seems scared. I think he should be shooting for a makeout session and some breasticle feelage. Cuddling only becomes not lame after you've hooked up with someone, otherwise, you're just a pussy that couldn't get his nuts up to go for a kiss. Let's ask MiWatt what he really wants. MiWatt, do you want to make out with the possibility of losing your virginity, or do you want to be stuck in an awkward spot all night, trying to keep this girl from feeling your boner rubbing against her ass while you cuddle? I've been in both positions before, and let me tell you, it's a lot better to make your move early and let your intentions be known. She will respect you more for it, and if she turns you down..get another room, and don't ever talk to her again. Or just pass out..and don't ever talk to her again. I have no problem cutting people out, so maybe we differ there, but do you see what I'm getting at?


Didn't realize this was the ask a female forum; just saw "Messed Up Question" and was curious. Anyway, take these ladies' advice, and enjoy your cuddling.

[Mathematics]

Whatever you do, make her feel comfortable. I would suggest the bed is just for sleeping, unless a drastic turn of events happens. Let the courting happen in the daytime when you're enjoying each others company.

[Fudala847]

try giving her a compliment, and to initiate a cuddle try makign a joke outa it, like. Touch her waist, but then in a joking way say something like "oh sorry i was trying to scratch myself" or something kidna stupid and see how she reacts if she goes back righ away touching u then its gold, but if shes like " oh ok" then its not the time.

[bloodtippedrose]

You just have to read her body language. Try putting your arm around her- which could be friendly or seductive, and see how she responds. If she cuddles back or smiles you're in.

[IndigoGal]

Listen to Sookie. Smelling great is a huge point here. That doesn't mean pile on the cologne. There's nothing like the smell of clean man.

If you really just want to cuddle with this girl: Don't forget to put yourself in a position that makes it easy for her to snuggle, and if she doesn't lean in for the snuggle, but is laying in the bed next to you, try just putting your arm around her or brushing her hand with yours.

If you actually want more: What are the circumstances surrounding this? That really will change the dynamic here. What you do before you share the room is just as important. Is this a road trip, business trip, wedding?

[sookie6]

(not necessarily sex - I'd be more than happy just cuddling for the night) but I have no idea how to initiate things. I'm SERIOUSLY inexperienced when it comes to this and need help.

If you can't tell he wants to have sex with her, then you're just a moron. He never said his best option was "a cuddly night".

I've read the initial post and yes the OP would be happy with just a cuddly night...

[MiWatt]

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the advice.

Sookie6 I really agree with what you've said. I think making a move beforehand might throw her off a bit when it comes to sharing a bed. Building trust is a good idea, but I think flirting throughout the day might not be a bad idea either because just building trust will give off a "let's just be friends" vibe.

BackUpOrGetStng I agree with you too, apart from the cutting her off completely bit. I think if I don't make a move in that situation it will say a lot about me - namely that I don't have any guts and aren't worthy of her respect.

Also I didn't realize smelling good is so important. Obviously not smelling bad is important, but I didn't think smelling good could really turn the tide here.

[Boisdevie]

So you just happen to be sharing a bed? Please explain how you will just be happening to share a bed.

[MiWatt]

So you just happen to be sharing a bed? Please explain how you will just be happening to share a bed.

Decided to go on a day trip together. The hotel was out of twin rooms. She was fine with a double.

[sookie6]

Decided to go on a day trip together. The hotel was out of twin rooms. She was fine with a double.

excellent question from BoisdeVie...a girl would not expose herself in a room with a young man if she doesn 't fancy him...