whats so hard about expressing feelings

[jayjay30]

seriously why do men have a hard time expressing their feelings? my so refuses to say i love you nor is he very loving. what is up with that?

i mean he says he does love me but wont say teh words i love you.
not a very physical person no hugs/kisses from him but occassionally.

[jiraiya111]

depends on the person. have u spoken to him about it? if u havent maybe if u ask him to be more affectionate and tell u he loves u more he might open up a bit.
maybe hes just not used to showing emotion? or sees it as a kind of weakness? :/ hope that helps

[jayjay30]

im thinking he sees it as a sign of weakeness. i see it as the exact opposite.

[HeartIsAching]

seriously why do men have a hard time expressing their feelings? my so refuses to say i love you nor is he very loving. what is up with that?

i mean he says he does love me but wont say teh words i love you.
not a very physical person no hugs/kisses from him but occassionally.

Because we're socialized not to from birth.

Because of this, we also have a very limited emotional vocabulary. We learn to say we're angry instead of saying we're embarrassed or frightened, or a hundred other emotions. Because of this, we usually vacillate between two states - happy and angry.

[jayjay30]

Because we're socialized not to from birth.

Because of this, we also have a very limited emotional vocabulary. We learn to say we're angry instead of saying we're embarrassed or frightened, or a hundred other emotions. Because of this, we usually vacillate between two states - happy and angry.

lol.

well than i guess my lil boy running around yelling i love you mommy is going against the norm? lol.

[Sixpacj]

lol.

well than i guess my lil boy running around yelling i love you mommy is going against the norm? lol.

no, but when he gets older you will start telling him how he has to be strong and not cry when he has hurt himself, becasue boys don't cry, boys need to be strong to take care of their mummies, or some other bs... ;-)

[Sixpacj]

Because we're socialized not to from birth.

Because of this, we also have a very limited emotional vocabulary. We learn to say we're angry instead of saying we're embarrassed or frightened, or a hundred other emotions. Because of this, we usually vacillate between two states - happy and angry.

While the above is definitely, at least partially, true, I'd wager the most important reason men do not "share their feelings" is becasue females force them to by way of the different techniques of emotional manipulation, it does not feel safe, men feel trapped, etc.

Now, whether this applies to your situation is for you to judge.. ;-)

[vashti]

While the above is definitely, at least partially, true, I'd wager the most important reason men do not "share their feelings" is becasue females force them to by way of the different techniques of emotional manipulation, it does not feel safe, men feel trapped, etc.

Now, whether this applies to your situation is for you to judge.. ;-)

Agreed.

Plus, we don't really like (overly) emotional men, either, and smart men know it.

[jayjay30]

i will never tell my son its not okay to cry. i think to keep in emotions whether you are a man or a woman is very unhealthy. i only want my SO to let me know how he feels whether its a loving feelign or if he is upset what is bothering him.

[Dune]

Well there's all sorts of men out there. But some men show that they care in other ways. Eg. he may think that showing emotion is too soft and he doesn't want you to think that of him as he wants you to view him as your pillar of strength.

Just my 2 cents, let him know that you would like to be mushied and reassure him that it won't spoil his manly image.

PS. Most men take hints badly. I'm a guy. Been there. Probably still there

Good luck!

[Boisdevie]

I tell my GF that I love her because I do. Smart men have enough self confidence to do what works for them and not follow all the bullshit rules that say men should do X, Y and Z. Perhaps the guy doesn't love you?

[VincenzoG91]

i will never tell my son its not okay to cry. i think to keep in emotions whether you are a man or a woman is very unhealthy. i only want my SO to let me know how he feels whether its a loving feelign or if he is upset what is bothering him.

Not all socialization comes from the parents. If his peers notice that he is overly emotional, he will probably get picked on by bullies.

[vashti]

I used to tell my boy that it was okay for him to cry at home, but NEVER to do it when he was outside the house, or the bullies would line up to kick him.

[DoesntMatter]

And then you should have told him, if the bullies line up to kick him, he in turn kicks / punches / bludgeons the bullies! (jk about bludgeoning. LE doesn't look fondly upon that, even for minors)

[vashti]

His father and I had two very different outlooks on bullies. He thought if you ignored them long enough and stayed away from them, they would eventually grow bored and leave you alone. I was always of the opinion that the only way to handle a bully is to defend yourself physically, because bullies are stupid and don't comprehend reason, but they DO comprehend pain.

My way works better.