Problems with Ex girlfriend.

[freakyfresh]

So its my first time on this forum... well it's actually the first time i've ever visited a relationship forum, so hello all!

I apologise in advance if this is a long read, but i appreiate the time if your going to read all this and hopefully give me some great advice.

Ill try and cut out minor details to hopefully shorten this read. Me and My ex girlfriend Lucy, have been on and off, more on rather than off. We was together for 11 months, broke up, got back together, broke up again and got back together, totaling a total of 2 years together (Our anniversary was in March this year, we was broken up then, but seen each other on the odd time)

Well, i do have a plan, and that is to get back with her, i don't really need to explain the reasons why, because to most of you it might be obvious. These are all genuine reasons too...

The last time we spoke was last Thursday, so a total of a week without speaking, and throughout the 2 years of breaking up, this is the best i've done, i haven't contacted her and she hasn't contacted me... well kind of, which ill explain in a bit. Im doing pretty good with the no contact, to which im kind of proud of myself. I seen her on the Saturday after Thursday, didn't acknowledge her at all, which might of been a bad move, but next time it'd be different, just planning a friendly hello or something.

On Monday she texted me this, me obviously being Mark, Patch being my dog, and Polo being my pet cockateil.

B: Hey hope your okay. Havnt heard from youu inawhile. Miss you. All of you guys hope Patch's okaaay and lil polo. I hope Mark's okay. I miss him alot... Anyway just thought id drop you a text. Lots of love and kisses Lucy xxxx

With my sister replying, Lucy got to the conclusion that maybe she shouldn't text me because i called her a head **** (She once text me and all my feelings came down again) but towards the end of the textes exchanged between my sister and her she said and i quote 'Yeaaa il have to have a chat with him'

What do you think she meant by this? Because she hasn't contacted me at all, and im not really planning to this time because all the other times its been me. Should i contact her? Or wait it out a bit more.

Some notes:

I have cheated on her, but been forgiven after some eventful effort. We've got back together after it happened. So hopefully thats not an important factor.

We do argue, mostly jelously, but after this no contact, i believed ive changed.

She's been with other boys since our break up and i haven't been with anyone, the othe times i have, but this time, i don't want to, which i can't really understand why or what. Hopefully someone could give me some advice to this too, all the other breakups i've been with someone else, not relationship, just seeing, mostly sex.


Thoughts?

[freakyfresh]

Bump :/

[Thinkalot]

From what i'm hearing, your not looking for something serious your just going with the flow. However
Now the main question I think.
Do you love her?
Yes. Ok then its worth going through what ever as love in my belief can not be distorted nor created. Then the next step would be to analyse what when wrong in the past and think how to avoid it in the future.

No. Still be friendly never leave anything hostile its just wrong, plus this is probably what option you choose based on the fact you where able to cheat on her shows you don’t care about her enough to make it last. however I could be wrong..

Wish you the best mate.

[freakyfresh]

From what i'm hearing, your not looking for something serious your just going with the flow. However
Now the main question I think.
Do you love her?
Yes. Ok then its worth going through what ever as love in my belief can not be distorted nor created. Then the next step would be to analyse what when wrong in the past and think how to avoid it in the future.

No. Still be friendly never leave anything hostile its just wrong, plus this is probably what option you choose based on the fact you where able to cheat on her shows you don’t care about her enough to make it last. however I could be wrong..

Wish you the best mate.

Thanks for the reply mate! I love her still, yes. And by serious do you mean a relationship? If so then yes i do. Do you think though that i should make initial contact first? Or wait for her to contact me? Im a bit worried about the outcome... i really don't want to be at square 1 again :/

[JadenMia]

I am so confused with this post..

So, you do want to be with her? She wants to be with you or not? Why are you so on and off?

Maybe you might try talking to her? Seems to be the first thing you would do.. especially as you have been together*? for almost 2 years..
Call her. Ask her.. 'Do you want to be with me in a relationship? Or not?'
Wait for her answer and then go from there.

I just dont get this post at all.. Is it her that doesnt want to be with you? Other way round? Why are you currently in no contact?
lol Im confused.. Seems like a mess to me and probably gone too far to fix it. I would move on and start a fresh, something that wont be as immature as this.

[freakyfresh]

I am so confused with this post..

So, you do want to be with her? She wants to be with you or not? Why are you so on and off?

Maybe you might try talking to her? Seems to be the first thing you would do.. especially as you have been together*? for almost 2 years..
Call her. Ask her.. 'Do you want to be with me in a relationship? Or not?'
Wait for her answer and then go from there.

I just dont get this post at all.. Is it her that doesnt want to be with you? Other way round? Why are you currently in no contact?
lol Im confused.. Seems like a mess to me and probably gone too far to fix it. I would move on and start a fresh, something that wont be as immature as this.

I'm sorry if my post was confusing, so i'll try and explain and get things on my level. I do want to be with her, yes. Regarding her, i'm not really sure. She's the one who broke it off, and to be precise she broke it off a week or 2 ago. I started no contact with her a week thursday (5th May). I'm not trying to be on and off, im just finding it hard. The reaosn im doing no contact is so hopefully, she'll miss me and hopefully the space away from each other we can control our feelings and hopefully be able to work on our relationship.

The reason im asking 'Should i contact her now' is because im finding it hard weather its best to now, or in the future. Like, which would be 'more of a chance' of getting her back. The textes she's sent my sister has just confused me a lot... especially due to the fact she hasn't made any effort to contact me yet. Do you understand now? Haha

[JadenMia]

I'm sorry if my post was confusing, so i'll try and explain and get things on my level. I do want to be with her, yes. Regarding her, i'm not really sure. She's the one who broke it off, and to be precise she broke it off a week or 2 ago. I started no contact with her a week thursday (5th May). I'm not trying to be on and off, im just finding it hard. The reaosn im doing no contact is so hopefully, she'll miss me and hopefully the space away from each other we can control our feelings and hopefully be able to work on our relationship.

The reason im asking 'Should i contact her now' is because im finding it hard weather its best to now, or in the future. Like, which would be 'more of a chance' of getting her back. The textes she's sent my sister has just confused me a lot... especially due to the fact she hasn't made any effort to contact me yet. Do you understand now? Haha

Ah, okay i get it now. lol
Well.. Im not sure. If she hasnt contacted you yet chances are she isnt interested in you anymore. Hard to swallow, but it could be true. Either that, or she is playing the no contact game too. Who knows right? But im guessing, if she broke it off and doesnt talk to you anymore she wants to move on. This kind of sounds like my last relationship.. It was such a burden really.. Just immature bullsh*t and you are probably loads better off without it.

If you really want her back, just text/call her. Ask her if she misses you and if she would like to sort things out between the 2 of you, or if she really meant the break and wants it to be over for good. See what she says to that? There is no point in no contact if you want her back i think. No point in playing games, just have it out straight with her and you will find out your answer from that.

[freakyfresh]

Thank you for the reply! I guess that's it then... moment of truth i guess. I'll contact her later on today and see if she would like to meet up and talk, not nesessarily today but someone in the next few days, and just go from there i guess!

Thanks a lot!