My boyfriend couldn't protect us? Should he be ashamed?

[JillPorter]

Don't misunderstand me, I love him but he thinks a guy should be able to take care of himself.

Two weeks ago we were walking through the park when two thugs came up and demanded we hand over our watches and wallets. My boyfriend refused so they jumped him, cracked him on the back of the head with something and knocked him out cold. They were about to take his Rolex when a group of guys came running up and chased them off. My boyfriend wasn't badly hurt and was conscious by the time the ambulance came. So we can count our blessings for that.

Since then things have been a little weird and it has to be because of what happened. I understand the whole macho thing about protecting your lady no matter how stupid it is but no one can be expected to fight.

How can I tell him it doesn't matter? Or make it understand I don't expect him to be Superman wihout undermiming his confidence.

[Nicholas_V]

well, maybe next time they will stab him instead and he will get the message without your help.

Or maybe he values his life and yours less than his wallet

[IndiReloaded]

A very high-level martial artist once gave a seminar about this. Know what he said he would do if mugged for his wallet while w/his family?

He said he would hand it over, no questions asked. Ask any cop as well, they will tell your BF the same thing. Only fight if you are being physically attacked and you cant run. In this case, you fight for your life holding nothing back. Kill them if you can. Once chance. Ichi go ichi e.

[ShellyZ]

Agreed. Give them whatever material possessions they want. Wallet, phone, watch, iPod...hand it over. It's not worth your life. The only time you should fight back is if your physical safety is at risk. If they want you, fight back. If they want your wallet, give it up.

[JillPorter]

Agreed with whats being said but whats done is done.

It's not a matter of how he acted but how do I let him know that I'm not ashamed of how he got knocked out cold and I don''t expect him to take on two guys. His pride has been hurt.

[Petit Papillon]

Tell him that he had no chance against 2 or more guys so he should just give it a rest ...

[Nicholas_V]

he will get over it - get a police officer to talk to him while at the hospital, who perhaps will show him a few pictures of what happened to others who acted in a similar way. His pride should be your least worry right now. Be more concerned about him not repeating the same behaviour again - he puts you at risk too.

[surfhb]

Youre BF is a total Stud for standing up to those guys. Thats one of the best Manly-Man stories Ive ever heard ! Thumbs up!

[HeartIsAching]

A very high-level martial artist once gave a seminar about this. Know what he said he would do if mugged for his wallet while w/his family?

He said he would hand it over, no questions asked. Ask any cop as well, they will tell your BF the same thing. Only fight if you are being physically attacked and you cant run. In this case, you fight for your life holding nothing back. Kill them if you can. Once chance. Ichi go ichi e.

My Kung Fu Sifu said the same thing. I remember very specifically, he was teaching me Gun Defense #1 (handgun) and I asked him what he'd do if somebody stuck a gun in his face and asked for his wallet. He said "I'd give him my wallet. Duh."

The man was blackbelted in 7 different martial arts, one of the baddest dudes I've ever known, and he said it just like that.

[JillPorter]

Youre BF is a total Stud for standing up to those guys. Thats one of the best Manly-Man stories Ive ever heard ! Thumbs up!

Nope, it was stupid and we were lucky he only got knocked cold for his troubles. But you knew that.

It's not about what he did, it's about how he's coping with this.

[IndiReloaded]

My Kung Fu Sifu said the same thing. I remember very specifically, he was teaching me Gun Defense #1 (handgun) and I asked him what he'd do if somebody stuck a gun in his face and asked for his wallet. He said "I'd give him my wallet. Duh."

The man was blackbelted in 7 different martial arts, one of the baddest dudes I've ever known, and he said it just like that.

The best ones all seem to say this. Wow, that's a lot of blackbelts! I feel so boring in comparison. LOL.

[Archie]

Wouldn`t you be disapointed if your BF just gave up everything you two had?
Right now you should just be thankful to him, for showing his courage, for standing up for you. And instead of saying that he shouldn`t have done that, tell him he did his best. Even if that`s not what you`re thinking. he wan`ts you to be proud of him. And yes, if you got that remark, we`re like dogs.

[HeartIsAching]

Nope, it was stupid and we were lucky he only got knocked cold for his troubles. But you knew that.

It's not about what he did, it's about how he's coping with this.

Stupid and Heroic are often one and the same. Most Medal of Honor recipients are awarded it posthumously.

[IndiReloaded]

LOL, whats that saying about pilots... no old AND bold ones?

Anyway, it is brave what he did. Kudos for trying and at least now he knows that he can step up when the situation warrants. But next time, he should wait until someone is really in danger.

[doppelgaenger]

Who wouldn't be ashamed if they got their ass kicked and their wallet stolen?

Of course, if a guy sticks a gun in your face, you really don't have much of a choice... on the other hand, it doesn't seem like these muggers had a gun... so I would have been bookin' it.