One sided love in a mutual relationship..

[zain1]

hi i am 27 yrs old guy..I dont know but i am in desperate need of advice..i met this girl in my office 6 months back..since than i went for her..i propose her and she agreed...everything was so nice and cool..we had a wonderful first two months..i send my proposal to her home which was almost accepted..(which she later rejected because she wants to be settle abbroad and i have my family ties in my home country so i cant move there)

I make money which is good for enough living but the girl told me that she is looking for some extra rich guy..need bigger car..buy her gold jewelry and stuff..i usually spend double of my income on her for whole last six months..i try to fullfil everything she say..pick her daily from home to office--office to home..lunch and dineouts daily, yes daily for last 6 months..shoppings..taking care of her everyday needs etc..still she asks for too much..like more expensive gifts and do more-- do more like things..compare me with her ex's that they use to do alot and i am nothing infront of them etc

i felt like i met my love of life..so i spend like crazy on this girl..i started living for this girl.wakeup on her command and sleeps on her command..do my everyday task on her command..ignored my job and work..ignored my family..i ignored even living..i sware i did..

i become so possesive for her that i just want to spend every second of my life with her as i never get enough of her..she had a friends circle ( including two guys (one who is marriad) who do flirt to her which i found out many times in her inbox..i ask her to leave those friends which she dis-agreed.and said to me that i doubt on her..everytime she fights with me..she go out with her friends circle..which i hate..many times i found her cell busy at nights..when i ask who you talking to..she say i doubt and i am sick minded and negative sort of person

last week she said she have to go to her friends gathering at night..including that marriad guy who do flirt with her all the times.i said no i dont like them so dont go..instead make some new good friends and hang out with them..these so called friends just use you as a show peace and nothing else...she went to see them by telling me that they r more important than me...than she is also flirting with a guy in her university as well..which i just get to know ( although i talked to the guy and he told me that she appriciated his advancement)..

meanwhile she looks for other proposals as well all the times and i feel like i am just a last option for her..she says that she can do anything when she is angry..that is her justification..she calls me a lier..she disrespects me and my family very much..she dont give a fu*k about me or my feelings..no matter what i do for her..she always say me what you did..even though its me who calls all the time..its me who pays all the time..its me who cares all the times..etc etc..
an other example is she asked me to buy her a laptop which i didnot, so she asked some other guy to bought her the laptop(although she can afford it herself and i didnot wanted to be like that but i just wanted to see if i dont buy her a laptop what will she do, and what she did is made her image as a user **** hooker infront of me)

i know i may be sound very stupid that why the hell i m sticking with her and i should move on in my life....she always say me that move on and leave me..she dont give a damn..the problem is i feel myself very helpless infront of her..i am just unable to let her go..i m so deeply involve that if she talk to other guys i feel like dieing..

i need a way out..if she dont love me and just taking me as granted..how can i get out of her..i seriously dont want to loose her..but now i have to make a choice..

A how can i make her realize that she needs to love me if i love her

B i need to move on and tell her dat FU*K off which she will accept in less than a minute and i will go in deep depression phase..

in either case.. i need to know HOW I WILL BE ABLE TO DO IT..

[kageri]

Just because you love her doesn't mean she needs or has to love you. Obviously she doesn't. It doesn't sound like she's ever going to. She said herself that you should move on and she is looking for other guys to date and marry. You lost. Time to stop spending your money on her and start grieving so you can get over it and find someone who actually does love you.

[IndiReloaded]

This woman thinks she can do better than you, so you need to let her go.

I'm amazed there are still women on this earth that think they can get away w/this kind of behaviour but I suppose if you are in the market for high-quality breeding stock, you gotta pay the going rate...

[Boisdevie]

I'm a very attractive single woman. I would love to marry you because you sound like such a generous warm hearted man. If you can send me ten thousand dollars (for my flight) I'll be there this week. Can I send you my bank account details?

[zain1]

Its very hard to leave her..i am so involved..i know i may sound stupid but its same as i can't help it..i feel so helpless that i dont bother for other girls who can be a much better choice..

its true that we cant make anyone love..but than she says she loves me very much and all of this money crap is her right as in..if i cant fulfill her desires (financially) than she have the right to ask it to other guys??

[IncognitoSir]

Stop spending money on her and see how much she loves you........no seriously, just stop spending the dough and see what happens. When she starts treating you like crap you'll have your answer.

[zain1]

she already treats the same..when i told her i cant buy her a laptop to see what she do..she asked one of the other guy who bought him da laptop..its not about the laptop

is she doing the right thing?. is there any logic if i say no to her any desire does this mean that she will take it to some other guy?..mention not its me who is always and always a paying hand in this relationship

[kageri]

Yes she will go to another guy because she doesn't love you or care about you and she never will. She doesn't love them either. She's using everyone for their money and just going out with whoever will buy her.

[Cerby]

She loves that you spend money on her, that you come at command, and that she has complete control over you. Any time you voice an opinion, she gets mad, any time you ask anything of her, she gets mad.

She loves you like a someone loves a pet, they serve a purpose, and when they die you move on almost immediately. Go to the pet store, get a new one.

You're her pet, your purpose is money, and all she has to give you is sex (you had better be getting laid for this trouble). Once you move on, she'll find another guy.

I wonder what she did for the guy who bought her the laptop. . .?

Its relationships like this one that make me realize whatever problems I have in mine really aren't that bad. . .

[zain1]

damn so cruel and so true...so so true..

i deserve better

and i saw the guy sms in her inbox saying "so you dont want to talk to me"...

now i know i m just being used by a user..how do i kill such deep emotions for her

[Cerby]

damn so cruel and so true...so so true..

i deserve better

and i saw the guy sms in her inbox saying "so you dont want to talk to me"...

now i know i m just being used by a user..how do i kill such deep emotions for her

You come to terms with what it is, and you realize that you have far more value than what she is investing in you. Its no longer about her, its about you. You need to realize you deserve MUCH better. But you also need to curb your co-dependent habits as you are "living for her" which is a terrible way to live.

If you wake up and go to bed thinking about her, leave your phone by your head while you sleep in case she calls, go running to her whenever she wants something, you're no longer putting your own value ahead of hers.

[maxmax]

She sounds like an idiot

[zain1]

@ cerby..i hope you dont read minds..do you

so true..whenever she needs me she calls me and i run like a pet dog..even if i have to drive 100 k.m..i do it just to please her..i even kill my own needs to fulfill her's..still she is not happy and always complain as if what i have ever done for her..

i wud have even take her with all her shits..if she dont seem to be talking to other guys and doing bit-chy stuff like using them for money or if we have a fight she right away call sum other guy nd start talking and making plans..she knows my weakness is this and she uses this

[devonbrown]

You need to cut contact with her. Stop talking to her. Focus on anything else but her. Block her phone number. Ignore her messages. Keep the temptation of her away from you. You understand that you can't resist her requests, so you have to stop listening to her requests. It will be hard for you, but you will get past her faster if you cut all ties with her.

[Ciara Shante]

Greetings Zain1,
I am so glad that there are still a few good men out there. Bravo! But it saddens me to see them treated like you have been treated lately. You give your all and get nothing in return. Wow just WOW! Well at least I dont have to tell you that she doesn't give a damn, because you already know this. You know. So why are you asking for advice. I know because love has filled your heart and when loves fills someone's heart it's hard to get out. It's kinda like the cream filling in a donut... you cant get to it unless you break it.
So Zain 1 you must break this cycle of unhappiness. It's not healthy, you lost focus on the important things in your life only to reap no benefits YOU MUST TURN THE OTHER WAY AND RUN FROM THIS GIRL> Dont walk JUST RUN. She is breaking you spiritally and mentally. It probably has taken a toll on the physical you too. You cannot make her love you she wont! Some people are born useless users and she my friend is just that a user. Don't continue to hold yourself back from finding the love of your life by wasting time trying to love someone who does not love you back. Your dream girl is out there I'm sure and you deserve it.