please only female stuff answer

[paulie]

Girl: 19 years old - Boy: 21 years old

We have been together for a little bit more than a year and a half. We met at a night club where he had worked. At the time I was a pot smoker and he knew this. We had still gotten along and after we had hung out for a few months we went into a relationship.

I had stopped smoking pot and going to clubs/pubs for him because he didn’t want me to. He had stopped working at a club because he thought it was wrong, But still continued to work at a pub (as till now) and that’s only bcoz his currently studying double degree at uni and almost finished.

He helped me get into uni and would help me with my assignments and he actually guides me in my life and helps me step up in life. He wanted to marry me in the future & get engaged in a year time and had told me this several times.

For the last year & a half I had wanted to go out with my friends or brothers to a club and he wouldn’t allow this, he only wanted me to go if he was with me. But he never wanted to go. We had only gone a couple of times during that period. Also taking me to other things all the time like nice and expensive dinners, movies, holiday etc. He would do anything besides clubs.
Over all I had got sick of him telling not to go to clubs or pubs with my friends. Also he didn’t like me to kiss any guys hello on the cheek even if i had known them a lot longer and my brother mates (which i am very close to my brother).

I had promised him i wouldn’t go to the club or smoke ever again. But one time we had broken up (my decision) bcos i wanted to hang out with my friends at a club/hotel & smoke pot and watch the hangover 2 at the movies. Anyways when we had broken up for a small period of time i had gone to hotel with my friends and I got drunk and felt sick so I jumped on a cab to go home. The next day i had also smoked pot at my girlfriend’s house. He had then taken me back because i told him that the things I've done above wasn’t worth anything over him.

He only doesn’t want me to go to clubs/ hotels by myself becos he doesn't trust the other guys, but he does trust me heaps. He only wants me to go to clubs/hotels with him or my brothers. And he hates drugs and he thinks it is really bad for me.
Anyway... My Bf truly loves me more than anything, respects me, does everything for me and I love him the same way, he still treats me like I am the only girl on the earth. All my family, friends, his friends and everyone I know loves and respects him bcoz he his really respectful person. So many people I know including my brothers tells me that he is like a 3 eyed fish which means his different to every other guy and I cant ever able to find a guy like him on this earth.

Here are some questions:

1. Do you think i should be able to go to clubs/hotels with girls, without going with my brother or my boyfriend?

2. Do you think i should be able to smoke pot and do other drugs?

3. He also doesn’t want me to work at a pub/hotel, but he is working at a pub/hotel. Do you think that it is fair? And do you think that i should be able to work at a pub/hotel?

[Wakeup]

Here are some questions:

1. Do you think i should be able to go to clubs/hotels with girls, without going with my brother or my boyfriend?

2. Do you think i should be able to smoke pot and do other drugs?

3. He also doesn’t want me to work at a pub/hotel, but he is working at a pub/hotel. Do you think that it is fair? And do you think that i should be able to work at a pub/hotel?

Love may be unconditional but relationships ALWAYS have conditions that both people have to either agree to, compromise on, or if you can't do either of those then you have a choice to accept or leave the relationship.

1. Why is it so important that you go to clubs/hotels and drink and dance without your boyfriend? Why do you crave that so much?

2. You should be able to do what you want (whether is good for you or not as we are human with free will) but you have to realized that if you do you could go to jail or heavily fined or both and you will lose your boyfriend. Your choice to choose what is more important to you.

3. Again, your choice to work at a pub or a hotel but if you do, you will lose him as your boyfriend.

He does not have you tied up so that you're unable to make your own decisions. You just have to stop with wanting your cake and eating it too. In other words, you can do what ever you want but you can't have him while you do it.

Whats most important to you? Figure that out while keeping in mind that what you want to do is not all that important in the scheme of things.

I wonder why you want strangers opinions on this when it doesn't matter whether we agree with you or not. We will not sway your boyfriend from his conditions that need to be in place in order to be in a relationship with him.

You already broke up with each onther once over the same thing and then you asked him to take you back because you came to the conclusion that being with him was more important that the trivial things you so want to do.

How long are you going to obsess over this issue before you either accept or break up with him for good if you think he's too controlling. Wakeup and make a decision and stop whining about it.

[Vert]

Your bf sounds a bit controlling by telling you what you should and shouldn't do, you are old enough to make those decisions on your own
1. You should be able to go to the club by yourself and have your freedom as a young woman
2. I would not recommend smoking or doing "other drug" to anyone. why would you want to do drug? your only destroying yourself
3. you should be able to work where ever you want to work as long as it is suitable for you and you are happy with your decision.

It sound like you guys have trust issues or maybe he is just a controlling boyfriend. You need to start making decisions for yourself as you are not a child anymore.
You guys have different goals he seems like he is ready to settle down, while you want to smoke pot and have fun and might not be ready for the commitment that he is offering.
he knew who you were in the beginning and he shouldn't date you and try to change who you are if he know he didn't want a pot smoker
you both need to sit down and talk about what you want from the relationship, if he ready to settle down get married and you don't want the same thing there is no point in continuing
if he want you to quit smoking and your not ready to make those changes for yourself, him, or the relationship...there is no point in continuing.
you both should make the decision that is best for the two of you and be happy just remember that with every decision comes consequences.

[deepika_16]

Hey definately that guy is the best one for you who is turning your life towards good things. Well, I suggest you that you should follow him and do whatever he asks to do. Your [URL="http://www.myboyisanidiot.com"]boyfriend[/URL] is truely the one who loves you most and gives you priority above all things and that's why he doesn't want to lose you with durgs.

1. I personally think that there is no problem to go pubs or clubs with your girlfrinds not having your brothers or him around but are you sure that you will not intake drugs or anything harmful there?

2. Strictly anyone should not use smoke pot or durgs. It is very dangerous and can be a danger to your life and that's why he always denies you to go clubs or use drugs etc.

3. And finally same as the first question - there should not be any problem working in pubs or bars but only if you are not going to destroy yourself because the environment there is not suitable and you will not be able to give up drugs and smoke pot.

Thanks