shes got a boyfriend?

[MaidenMinx]

You gotta love how you ask one question on this forum and a completely different one is answered.

I do agree with the emotional affair bit though. Be wary to not fall into the trap of just being there for her. If she breaks up with her bf she will need to do it regardless of you.

[doc]

Okay I get it. Smackie, your wording is eerily similar to mine and it hit a chord. Im going to back off. Although I dont know if I should let it be known why I am backing off or simply disappear. It seems that it would be in my best interests to tell her because I do have to work with her on occasion and, I do expect her to be single at some point......I know I know...dont hold out for her. She clearly knows I am interested. If shes available, she have to reach out to me.

What an f-ing bummer....

[nails&bails]

yep i would back off dang sho would not wait yea its sucks but worse is to b the spare tire every body know were to keep them

[smackie9]

You don't have to completely ignore her, there's nothing wrong with going for a quick lunch during work a couple times a month, or chat with her at the office.......just back off on the dates and any flirty innuendo talk, texts, etc.

Just put the idea of being with her on the back burner for awhile and see what happens.

[doc]

So since this time i have been completely unsuccessful at backing off.....weekend lunch...."playing" in the office all day long....long conversations in parked car....went out for late night drinks with her and her gf...planning other outings in the future....bf looks like he may fall out of the picture....may......but $hit, man....I cant help it.....totally smitten by this girl.....~sigh~

[IndiReloaded]

She sounds ripe for stealing. With all the warnings that go along with that.

If you still want her, you're going to have to play hard ball: get her really into you (huge on the romance but NO sex). Then, before she starts pulling away w/2nd thoughts, YOU need to tell her you want her but that she has to break up with her BF. Back off for a while to let her think. Don't immediately respond to her calls and texts, tho do get back to her eventually but restate your position.

If she's really into you, she'll jump from his branch to yours. Good luck monkey-hunting.

[IndiReloaded]

but $hit, man....I cant help it.....totally smitten by this girl.....~sigh~

YOu'll lose her tho if you don't control yourself. Right now she is playing BOTH of you guys.

[doc]

I keep repeating that to myself....resisting showing all the cards....so tempting tho. I agree that she is ready to put this guy behind her. She has admitted that there isnt a future there. Just wanna be the one that she DOES see a future with. Yes, Im aware of the warnings (see above).

[IndiReloaded]

Its a dance. I don't mean to make her sound like mindless chattel, but there is a certain amount of biology you guys need to overcome. Women are programmed to choose the strong, assertive male w/just enough romance to make a good parent. Same for women, really, in that guys will give us gals whatever we want if we feed and **** you. Oversimplification, yes, but approximately correct as a starting point.

Keep your eye on the prize and your hormones in check. For now until you get a similar commitment from her.

[doc]

Any suggestions. I know what I would be doing if she were single....but now i got this weird boundary to deal with...not sure how far to push it...of course I wanna push it as far as she is willing but not an inch more. (obviously sex would be going a bit far) Im guessing hand holding, if the moment is right then a kiss....continue to see her, flirt, play, etc? Without going on a real date that I can plan, the romance seems to have to be on the fly, right?

[Dank]

Meh, just have sex and move on .... its a one night stand as far as it will go don't bother getting serious because she won't. GL

[maxmax]

Any suggestions. I know what I would be doing if she were single....but now i got this weird boundary to deal with...not sure how far to push it...of course I wanna push it as far as she is willing but not an inch more. (obviously sex would be going a bit far) Im guessing hand holding, if the moment is right then a kiss....continue to see her, flirt, play, etc? Without going on a real date that I can plan, the romance seems to have to be on the fly, right?

Can you not just be yourself and make her want to spend time with you that way?

If she is feeling comfortable and wants to get involved, then she will be the one to instigate hand-holding or give you a peck on the cheek etc.

Regardless of whether she says it's not going anyhwere with her current bf, remember, she is still in a relationship.

You need to show her you respect that.

And who knows, perhaps she only said that her relationship with her bf wasn't going anywhere as a test to see how you would react and how much you would take advantage of the situation?

The flipside is that she told you this as a clear sign to make a move. It's difficult to tell.

Let her know you like her, tell her what you're thinking, but more importantly, just be fun to be around. You need to be yourself, and if you adopt a machiavellian approach to getting what you want you might end up being the opposite.

[Wakeup]

I see a future girlfriend with dangly bits in the making. Keep up that friendly, emotional support there Doc and you'll make a fine male girlfriend. Any single girls in your area worth pursuing while you wait for the taken one to leave her boyfriend?

[HeartIsAching]

because she has no personal or relationship boundaries, she allows the next guy on the assembly line at work steal her away from you?

You're just looking for trouble. Karma and all, ya know? She doesn't sound like she cares who she hurts why would she care about you. Is your ego so large that you think you can be the one that she suddenly becomes integral and monogamous for?

This is exactly what I was thinking. You're just the next in line. She's always going to be looking for the next "upgrade". You'll be no different, and someday you'll be on here brokenhearted wondering what went wrong.

[legality]

don't waste your time if that girl isn't gonna choose you over her own bf!