What is she feeling?

[thevsilent]

I have been posting this story all through the forums, I just want to get others opinions on it. I was in a 5 year relationship with the girl that I loved, but I was emotionally abusive to her. I used to call her names and down her all the time, yes I know, I am currently seeking counceling to better myself. Well about a month ago, she ended it, she didn't say it was because of that, she just said she thought I wasn't the one, but of course I know it is because I was such a mean person to her. She blocked me from her life, facebook, etc, and hasn't spoken to me since. I tried writing her a closure letter, but that is when she blocked me from Facebook.

I really do realize what I did was wrong, and I was trying to seek forgivness, do you think she will ever forgive me for such a thing? I hate living life knowing she hates me, it brings pain to my chest, I am going to become a better person, I was just hoping over time she would forgive me, and I would forgive myself. When she broke it off it just seemed like she turned me off like a light, does she even feel anything toward me now at all? Or is a month later and I'm just the guy that ruined part of her life? Sorry ladies, I know, I promise I am making a effort to never do this ever again.

[HeartIsAching]

I really do realize what I did was wrong, and I was trying to seek forgivness, do you think she will ever forgive me for such a thing? I hate living life knowing she hates me, it brings pain to my chest, I am going to become a better person, I was just hoping over time she would forgive me, and I would forgive myself. When she broke it off it just seemed like she turned me off like a light, does she even feel anything toward me now at all?

Probably not, it's time to move on.

Don't do it for her, or to please her. Do it for yourself. I'm a better man now than I was because of my counseling and group therapy.

She probably feels very little if anything positive for you now. You're going to have to live with that.

[smackie9]

Women who are in abusive relationships do find it every difficult to remove those feelings. But it just gets to a point where they realize their self worth. She has done everything in her power not to listen to her heart anymore and not to fall back into the ugly cycle of abuse again. I know this for I have been there myself. She now has learned not to put up with abuse (hopefully) ever again from anyone. Sorry but the damage has been done and who knows if she could ever forgive you.....that may take years. You just need to move on yourself.

[Wakeup]

First off, good for you for taking control of your own life and getting help with your own issues. The only one we have complete control over is ourselves so kudos for you for taking back the one person you can direct.

Second, you need to stop thinking about her and accept that she wants to cut you out of her life. You are still trying to control her and trying to force her to hear you and she's taken back her own power by making it so you can't. Accept that and keep working on being the best man that you can be so that a nice woman you meet in the future won't have to block and delete you as well. In time and with your own self worth being topped up, you'll not worry so much whether or not she forgives you. She knows you're sorry now let it go.

[Windmillback]

It may very well be that she forgives you and that would be great for HER! But, forgiving you may mean that she will not get back together with you. You need to find a way to accept that. She cut you off adruptly is a good thing for her and you. I complain about women that cut you off and want to remain "just friends", it's lousy. She may have some girlfriends who are guiding her, advising her, and emotionally supporting her through this and have advised her to go completely NC. She may still be in love with you, but has decided to put mind over heart and stay resilliant throughout this. Advise to you is to work on moving on and forgetting about her in the way you think of her now. You have started on working on your problem which is the best thing that you can do for yourself, you openly admit to people that you have/had this problem which is a great sign, you seem remorsefull and rependant. Now stop beating yourself up about it, you had a problem, all of us do, and now you are resolving it. If there is any chance of the two of you being together again, it would be after both of you are completely over each other and found ways to be happy people without each other, but don't let that be a point of hope, because you cannot get over the relationship with that hope lingering. One day you will realise and think that there are lots of women out there for you to be interested in and possibly date and one of them would be a better soul mate than the GF who left you. Sometimes when we mess up it means that we have to accept the consiquenses which may mean a great loss to us. I wish you good luck in your forward stride, you desreve it for showing your soul out here.

[thevsilent]

Thanks so much for the advice. I openly admit I am sort of obsessive about what she is doing/thinking about these days. It is a mental block that I need to get over, I feel like I will never find greater love than her, but I know it is because it is still new, and I haven't completely accepted the fact that she is really gone. It is a uphill battle, and I will not contact her ever again, I realize that was being selfish when all she is trying to do is forget. I really hope that this counceling does some good for me, all I do now is depress myself and sleep, I just don't have the drive right now, I feel like it is too soon to do anything but at some point I have to get out, forgive myself, and maybe things will turn out alright.

[Rhainnonxx]

well i dont want to give you false hope but my ex was very much the same way only he hasnt realized it yet, i ended it with him too but my heart is very much still his. if he were doing what you were doing and getting the help he needed and could prove to me he would be a better man and treat me with more respect i would most likely give him another chance, i just wouldnt let him know that though ahaha. he has openly admitted that he cant forgive himself so thats a step. keep going where you are headed and stay strong for now. but in my opinion getting her back is not out of the question

[thevsilent]

well i dont want to give you false hope but my ex was very much the same way only he hasnt realized it yet, i ended it with him too but my heart is very much still his. if he were doing what you were doing and getting the help he needed and could prove to me he would be a better man and treat me with more respect i would most likely give him another chance, i just wouldnt let him know that though ahaha. he has openly admitted that he cant forgive himself so thats a step. keep going where you are headed and stay strong for now. but in my opinion getting her back is not out of the question

How long have you been split up? Did you ever go NC after the break up? See I believe my situation is slightly different, I tried to tell her my changes but she didn't even respond, I'm pretty sure her heart has moved on.