Ahh i want to scream! How should i act?

[MerryH]

I think I might have been the first person to bring up your child in this thread, and if I in any way helped this turn into the finger-wagging critique of your parenting that it is now, then I'm really sorry, Jaden.

Can we stop ****ing lecturing her about her daughter, now? He's not even involved with the kid.

Also, I disagree with Merry. You are not weak. You have weakness in you, we all do, we're human. We also have strength. You are stronger than you believe. Your biggest problem is your fear of being alone. You aren't alone. You have your daughter.

Fair enough. I suppose I should clarify that I didn't mean to imply that she didn't have it in her to become stronger. It's more like a boxer being weak after a fight. Of course he's weak, he just got punched in the head repeatedly. Much like the OP, except she's been getting verbally or physically beat down for, what, years now? You need to recuperate, learn, and get stronger.

Good luck talking with your doctor, Jaden. Hope it goes well.

[hello1]

I think I might have been the first person to bring up your child in this thread, and if I in any way helped this turn into the finger-wagging critique of your parenting that it is now, then I'm really sorry, Jaden.

Can we stop ****ing lecturing her about her daughter, now? He's not even involved with the kid

But it is a big problem? she wants a future with this man and loves him yet shes properly known for months he didn't like the fact she had a child and still carried on a relationship with him.

[MerryH]

But it is a big problem?

Nobody has said that it's not a problem, but remember that he is not involved with the kid. At all. She knows he would be a terrible influence, that's why she said, "I'd rather him not be involved with her at all." I mean, that's kind of the most rational, responsible thing she's done so far (no offense, Jaden, sorry.) So if you want to get mad at her for something, maybe you can leave her kid out of it?

[hello1]

Nobody has said that it's not a problem, but remember that he is not involved with the kid. At all. She knows he would be a terrible influence, that's why she said, "I'd rather him not be involved with her at all." I mean, that's kind of the most rational, responsible thing she's done so far (no offense, Jaden, sorry.) So if you want to get mad at her for something, maybe you can leave her kid out of it?

Yes I do get what you are saying. I just don't understand why she wants a relationship with a man who cannot accept her child? the relationship seems be ending because he does not treat her well, nothing to do with his treatment of her child.

[MerryH]

nothing to do with his treatment of her child.

Right, so there's no need to keep discussing her child.



Good luck with everything, Jaden.

[JadenMia]

Wow, i missed alot! lol

Thanks guys, i know im a good mother so i dont take any of the bashing to heart about my daughter. It wasnt always like this with him and my daughter. When we first met, he met me out, with my daughter. He loved the fact i was more mature than other girls our age, he wanted the family thing so when we started getting serious i thought he was a good choice. He treat us both like gold, always taking us out. Bringing Mia home toys and clothes, playing with her taking her out. He took her to visit his family and they all loved her, treated her like family. I think this, most of all is what i miss. After moving away from her father, i felt like it was the first time i could say i had done good for my daughter.

When things started to going bad last year in October thats when i pulled her from the situation, dont worry, she never saw anything she shouldnt have, shortly after that i left him anyway so she just kind of forgot and anything else was behiind closed doors. for the past month is when we have been together and 'seeing how things go'. I didnt want to involve her with him, for one, if it didnt work. And for the obvious other reason that hes become sort of a monster when i have any contact with the opposite sex.

As for the progress! Its now day 3 i havnt seen him, he text a few times last time telling me he loved me. I just ignored it and went to sleep as i have a big day today, managing and opening the store by myself! Yikes! But other than that, i feel good. I feel happy with not revolving everything around him. Its nice to spend some time on myself and Mia, instead of worrying about his crap too. Doctors is tomorrow, im going to keep everyone posted on what he says.

Im not feeling as horribly weak actually, im feeling pretty good. I am going to look at my own place to rent this week! I think moving into a new place just me and my girl, a big change like that will help a lot too. A lot of my problem is i addiction i believe. When we werent together, my life was pretty peaceful. I almost think the lack of drama in my life kind of made me feel uneasy if that makes sense! Kind of boring.. in a way. I am working SO hard on fixing everything in our lives. I know im stronger than i give myself credit for, i have been through some pretty f*cked up situations and gotten through them when everybody around me said they had no idea how i did it. This is just going to be another one of life's obstacles

Hello1, I never said i wanted a future with him since all this happened. I dont want a future with him, and im finding it hard to leave. Thats why i came here for advice. I might need advice for myself and my issues, but i dont need advice on my parenting. I know thats one thing i do fantastic at in life given my resources and age.

Thanks again everyone!! I am more than appreciative of all your time and advice. x

[hello1]

Hello1, I never said i wanted a future with him since all this happened. I dont want a future with him, and im finding it hard to leave. Thats why i came here for advice. I might need advice for myself and my issues, but i dont need advice on my parenting. I know thats one thing i do fantastic at in life given my resources and age.

Oh ok I read your post and understand now. It can be easy to judge people online with limited amount of information you get but you explained the situation.

Goodluck and keep thinking of your daughter. Theres a man out there who be good to you and your daughter

[asdfg789]

Stay strong! Best of luck !