Help! In Love with my best male friend

[catch22]

Hi All,
I am seperated from my husband. My marriage lasted 2 years because I was not heads over heels in love with my husband; we married for the our son and for financial reason. Lesson learned, I have to be really in love, "heads over heels" in love, with a man because its the love that will make me fight for the relationship. So of course to emotionally help me through the tough seperation was my best male friend. Now the seperation was only tough because I was breaking up a family not because I was in love with my husband. In fact I was so emotionally detached from my husband by the time we seperated. I then started getting feelings for my best friend and he said he had feelings for me but it was bad timing for both us to be togther ( i was coming out of a marriage and he recently broke up with a woman). We decided to have a sexual relationship with the understanding that its bad timing for a real relationship. We all know what happened, I developed deep feelings and we've had a great relationship for the past four months. 2 months ago he vented that he was falling in love with me, he thinks about me all the time, and I have no idea how much I've done for him. I held on to every word he said. After that, I stopped holding back my feelings and let myself fall in love him. But since then I've been expressing it and hinting to him that I want more but he has not returned the feelings or comments. This left me feeling confused and rejected. In fact, now I feel like he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend. They broke up 3 years ago after he cheated. He speaks nothing of good for her and constant regret on his part for cheating. I'm not sure if he just still holds the guilt or if he's actually in love with her still. He's noted that she's the only person he would've married.
Now I dont think he has the same deep feelings for me that I have for him. I'm so in love but I haven't told him. I stress about this but he doesn't know it. Now that I've officially filed for divorce, I want us to be together but Im so scared of rejection, I'm scared he's actually still in love with his ex and most of off I'm scared that we will completely lose our 12 year friendship we had before we started dating. He's a wonderful man, who has done nothing to hurt me, he's been so supportive of me. When we make love I feel like I'm in heaven. I just feel that he doesn't want me like I want him which will hurt me more than anything.

What should I do? should I just end our intimate relationship and work toward getting back our friendship?or should I put myself out there more than I already have and possibly hear the worst?

[smackie9]

Your first mistake was sleeping with him....you should have waited til you both were ready to be in a committed relationship. Second, a relationship will not survive without good communication. You are going to have to talk to him about how you feel and where you want this relationship to go. If you fear he will reject a relationship, he will reject it eventually anyways if he no longer has strong feelings for you and sees this only as FWB, so it will not make a difference if you drag this out.

[DarkHelmet82]

Priyal. i will personally come to your house and skullFCK you if you try to post any more SCAMS on here you freakin twerp.

As for the OP's question... smackie pretty much answered it.

[VincenzoG91]

Grow the hell up. "Head over heels" love is no basis for a lasting relationship. After the initial glow wears off, you need to deal with the reality of a long-term relationship, which requires good communication, teamwork and mutual respect.

[catch22]

Thanks everyone

[Wakeup]

Dark Helmet 82???/
Why you are misguiding people and diverting people from the world to your desired person I don't understand why you are you spreading on internet like virus. Just because of people like you Indian Brahmins are spotted black, If you have courage give your real name like me why you using different names on different websites and posting wrong contents of your people. I am sure you are working for some multinational or a big.... take away person. If you are real person please contact me on mail and phone. I always wished good for the people and guiding people to the correct location and path go get rid of their most concrete problem of their life.

It's not the guru that is "spotted black" it's you for using this site to promote him. Bugger off and quit giving people false hope.

OP: You base your feelings on lust and not love. You seem to not be able to tell the difference and until you realize that love is an action word that makes you feel secure and happy, nutured and protected and doesn't resonate from your vagina... you'll forever be giving up on men as soon as the honeymoon period is over.

That being said, you need to have an open and honest communication with your partner for the relationship to be long lasting and happy. Tell him you'd like a full blown, committed and exclusive chance with him so that you can explore your lust to see if there are true feelings there and how does he feel about that. If he says he's not interested in anything committed then you're a fool to continue with him and, you're a fool to continue with him while you're wanting more than just sex because you will always feel the angst and confusion you feel now and that led you to this forum and that keeps you unhappy except for brief increments of sexual liasons.

Find out and then at least you'll be educated enough to make an informed decision on what is in your own best interests.

[smackie9]

Dark Helmet 82???/
Why you are misguiding people and diverting people from the world to your desired person I don't understand why you are you spreading on internet like virus. Just because of people like you Indian Brahmins are spotted black, If you have courage give your real name like me why you using different names on different websites and posting wrong contents of your people. I am sure you are working for some multinational or a big.... take away person. If you are real person please contact me on mail and phone. I always wished good for the people and guiding people to the correct location and path go get rid of their most concrete problem of their life.

priyal_sawaniya#yahoodotcom read # as @

I always found drinking a couple of beers and having a nice nap solves most of my problems lol. Happy Canada Day to all you Canadians out there!