need helppp!!

[Rhainnonxx]

Okay so if you have read my other posts.... well i'm getting really frustrated!! my ex keeps coming back and saying how much he needs me and that he is so unhappy without me, i did no contact for awhile and it always works, but after all the things he has done, i always tell him he needs to win me back, he said he would fight to be the right guy and win me back, but than within two days he is distant and cold, i know a lot of people are gonna tell me to just leave him, but thats not what i want, i actually do want him back, idk why he suddenly changes but i do know that he seems to be telling the truth when he comes back and says he loves and misses me and cant do it without me so i dont get what changes but more importantly i need advice on how to prevent that from happening, maybe keep no contact for longer?.... maybe fight for him a little too? i have no clue and could use guy's help. i really truly want us to work and its so frustrating because i know we can make it work, i just dont know how to get past this hurldle! helppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jolicoeur]

i actually do want him back, idk why he suddenly changes but i do know that he seems to be telling the truth when he comes back and says he loves and misses me and cant do it without me so i dont get what changes but more importantly i need advice on how to prevent that from happening

Does he know what it is he's doing wrong once you are back together?

Could you explain us exactly what he is doing wrong, maybe in some example situations?

[Rhainnonxx]

We never even fully get back together, he says he is gonna fight for me and what not but two days later he acts distant and cold and like he doesn't want to fight for me at all and we end up not talking anymore, but than a week later he is starting it all over again saying that he wants me back

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're a moron, and a game playing bitch. If once wasn't enough, what makes you think 3 or 4 times is? You deserve whatever hurt he inflicts on you at this point.

He is who he is. Stop trying to change him. Deal with it, or break it off.

[Rhainnonxx]

okay 1st of all i'm not a bitch but you may say what you like, 2nd i'm not playing any game, He keeps coming back, i'm not trying to change him either... he says all the things about wanting me back and then switches off like a light switch, so how is that me playing games? i leave him alone out of respect i dont contact him, he does to me. You're obviously not understanding the situation, so before you go around calling someone a bitch that you dont even know, maybe you should figure out what you're even talking about.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

i always tell him he needs to win me back

You're not doing no contact to help yourself move on, you're doing it to manipulate him into acting the way you want. I don't really think you're a bitch, but you're just so dumb that I was frustrated, so I said it out of anger. I apologize for letting my emotions get the better of me.

[Rhainnonxx]

No i really am not trying to manipulate him, i leave him alone and even sometimes ignore him, but when he starts saying things like he needs me , and that he is depressed and angry without me it gets me thinking about us being together and thats when i start wanting him back. idk if i really want to move on, thats true, and i do want him coming back, and no contact does make that happen, but im not counting on it and not doing it because of that. and i accept your apology, i am frustrated as well, he keeps just shutting down very soon after he admits to missing me and wanting me back, and it frustrates the crap out of me!

[Mathias]

No i really am not trying to manipulate him

You may not be trying to - but you are. Take a good, hard look at your actions here.

[Rhainnonxx]

i guess yeah i am, i just have no clue what else to do...?

[Jolicoeur]

We never even fully get back together, he says he is gonna fight for me and what not but two days later he acts distant and cold and like he doesn't want to fight for me at all and we end up not talking anymore

Could you explain more literally what that means? When do you expect conversation? At breakfast? While watching a movie? After sex?

I think you underestimate what little most men understand and sense of what women want and expect of them.

It is so obvious to you, to the point of frustration when a man does not get you. But believe me, lots of times men are helpless. We just do not get it.

So please, as an exercise, explain me what it is you want. Please, do this in detail. If you succeed with me, maybe you have a shot at explaining your boyfriend what it is he's doing wrong.

When a damsel in distress needs to be rescued, sometimes the knight in shining armor needs a map to the tower.