Should I trust my boyfriend again after he told other women he loves them?

[lisa2011]

About three months ago I decided to look at my boyfried's phone and found he had been texting girls things like "I really really love you." There were two girls he was texting "I love you" to and others he was calling and texting things like "Goodnight." I broke up with him but then took him back because I missed him. Now its been three months but I can't get over this. I have a lot of trouble trusting him. I always think he's pursuing other women or sleeping with other women. He denies this and says he loves me. But all the time, some small thing reminds me of what he did, and I find myself obsessing over it and hassling him about it.

The thing is, he hasn't been able to give me a good excuse as to why he did this. I just want to know WHY. All he says is that is wasn't true when he said it, and that they were just friends, but then, WHY did he tell those girls he loves them? And all I can think is maybe this is just the tip of the iceburg. That's what I caught him doing, but what has he done that I haven't caught him doing?

He and I had only been together about a month when he was texting those other girls. I talked to one of them and she said they are just friends, like brother and sister, etc., but I think she was just covering for him. How can I trust him when he says he loves me, and he is faithful to me? I want to, but I find it very hard to believe him. I'm always jealous and trying to catch him looking at other girls, and things like that. I really love him, which is why I took him back and have been with him for three months now. But I am making both of us miserable with my obsessing over this.

Am I correct to be so suspicious? Why do YOU think he was telling those girls he loves them? Was he cheating on me? Thanks!

[rafterman]

Your relationship is on the way out. I could"nt love someone I cant trust.He's playing you,bigtime.

[Bluesidhe]

He's a liar. You made a mistake by taking him back but you can fix that mistake by breaking up with him again. You'll never get over this. You'll always be suspicious.

[Deeza07]

I can't tell you how its going to turn out, but I can share my experience.

My husband did this. I found out while looking on his phone (FYI I looked because he was constantly texting another woman, this he admitted). He told me he loved her after I busted his texts to her saying that he loved her, that he wanted to see her naked etc. I was constantly suspicious, no matter how much he assured me he loved only me. I was right in being suspicious, he eventually came to me and admitted that he didn't love me anymore, that he had that emotional connection with this other (married!) woman etc. We've now been broken up for 18 months, and the divorce is pending. It's the best thing to have happened.

You obviously feel like crap that he's saying these things to other women, and rightly so. If he respected you, he wouldn't be saying it. Don't let him walk all over you sweetie.

[smackie9]

Simple don't go out with him anymore. Your love for him will not make him love you unconditionally. He is with you for the sex and nothing more. This is not a relationship and never will be, get it?

[HeartIsAching]

Should you trust your boyfriend again after he told other women he loves them?

Should you hit yourself in the head with a hammer to see if it'd hurt?

Same answer for both questions.

[kageri]

Well some people do just throw "I love you" around all over the place. They say it to friends, they say it on the first date, they say it to relatives they see once every 5years.... Some people were just raised that way. Or he could be getting ready to cheat. Once again mind reading over the internet is not a common skill.

[Lilin]

You need to break up with him while you still can.

My friend is going through this right now with her marriage. Before they got married he'd cheated on her, and told her he was sorry bla bla bla it'd never happen again. They've been married 4 years now, about a year ago she caught a glimpse of a pretty raunchy text. She tried to pretend she didn't see it or convince herself it was something else. The next day though she decided to confront him. He convinced her she was crazy, and showed her his phone telling her it wasn't there she even went through his contacts and couldn't find the name. He told her maybe she was feeling paranoid since she was 8 months pregnant and had been having major self esteem issues and that he loved her and she needed to not think that he'd ever cheat on her. Paranoia got the best of her though she got into his email and found out he'd been posting, and answering posts on Craigslist for casual sex. They separated, but only for a few weeks. Then their baby was born, and they got back together for the baby. I told her it was the biggest mistake ever, he cheated on her again a few months after that. She'd called his work one day to find out his schedule had changed and he didn't work that day anymore. So the next week she followed him and found him at a hotel. She still won't leave him though because of the baby she is afraid she can't handle things on her own so she instead dishes out the money to have spy software on his phone and computer without his knowledge and even paid a PI to follow him for a bit. He has to call and check in with her from his work phone every hour when there, and ask her permission before going anywhere. According to him he still wants to be with her, but he's so full of bull.