Taking a six months break?

[SwimFish]

I am currently in a relationship, or actually taking a break from it. Its difficult to tell yet as I have never experienced a break before and neither has my gf. It is because I have hurt her with the things I say and do. She use to beleive that taking a break meant breakung up, bit now she feels differently. I on the otherhand feel like she was right all along and don't feel that a break is necessary. She said she would like to take a break for 6 months and that I cannot change in a day. I have done extensive research on "taking a break," for which it can be a good thing or a bad thing. In my case I feel as if it a bad thing. I love her and I still believe that the right person can change you, I have changed because of her and I would like to make it work. I keep telling her that I have changed but she doesn't believe me. We have been in the relationship for 3 to almost 4 years. I want to make it work, and since I have no reason to lie, I have completely change for her. I know she have had patients with me but I'm asking her for one last chance. I don't know what else to do to keep her and keep from a break. I have truely reformed myself but I have no way to prove it to her if we have a break. She says she has to see if she can be with me for the rest of her life. she said we can still hang out, I think she could just be letting me down easy.

Help please,
Fish

[devonbrown]

She may be letting you down easy. That is definitely a possibility. Most people think of breaks as being broken up. Even if she doesn't, the fact that she said 6 months indicates that she is considering this a break up. 6 months is an impossibly long time for a break.

Tell her this - if she really wants a 6 month break, tell her it has to be no-contact for that time. That it wouldn't be fair to you otherwise. It will make her think about whether she really wants the break or not.

But I think your gut feeling that she is breaking up with you is quite possible. She might have just reached the point where she doesn't care if you change, etc. and is just ready to move on.

Good luck.

[VincenzoG91]

Six months is ridiculous. Consider this a breakup, but work on your issues and try to become a better guy. Then contact her after six months and try for a fresh start.

[IncognitoSir]

In 6 months she'll meet at least 6 guys that treat her better than you did and she won't come back to you. It's a break up.

[oldskool83]

even if she dont meet anyone better then you theres a 99% chance there will be hook ups if nothing else. ive done it, focus on yourself. if she wants you she will start to come back...and she might have said 6 months to scare you stright....wouldnt be the 1st time a womans said 1 thing and done somthing else. what ever ya did has really taken on toll on her.

[SwimFish]

even if she dont meet anyone better then you theres a 99% chance there will be hook ups if nothing else. ive done it, focus on yourself. if she wants you she will start to come back...and she might have said 6 months to scare you stright....wouldnt be the 1st time a womans said 1 thing and done somthing else. what ever ya did has really taken on toll on her.

An update on the status is we are taking a break as so to speak. More of giving each other "space," than a "break." It's been two weeks and we are going well hanging out and talking but not on a daily basis like how we use to. We only talk once a day or just text goodnight while hanging out twice now in 2 weeks. I have read through half of "Anger Management for Dummies" and we are well on our way back to getting back together. I realize a "break" means differently for everyone and it doesn't mean a break up, but it could mean self-reflect and change and being better together. I can see how mostly it can be a break-up and that it also mean that she would be feed up w/ me. I have change in a day...so I know its possible when you find someone you truely love and would change in an instant. I do like how some say, "You can't change in a day..." You can if you encounter a life changing situation I believe. : )

[oldskool83]

im kinda in the same thing but there were not issues on my part, the girl got scared of what she had due to a busy life.

[Wakeup]

An update on the status is we are taking a break as so to speak. More of giving each other "space," than a "break." It's been two weeks and we are going well hanging out and talking but not on a daily basis like how we use to. We only talk once a day or just text goodnight while hanging out twice now in 2 weeks. I have read through half of "Anger Management for Dummies" and we are well on our way back to getting back together. I realize a "break" means differently for everyone and it doesn't mean a break up, but it could mean self-reflect and change and being better together. I can see how mostly it can be a break-up and that it also mean that she would be feed up w/ me. I have change in a day...so I know its possible when you find someone you truely love and would change in an instant. I do like how some say, "You can't change in a day..." You can if you encounter a life changing situation I believe. : )

"Anger management for dummies?" Okaaay.

Let us know when you're officially back together. The only thing new here is that you're reading "Anger management for dummies."

Good Luck.

[Incognito]

I keep telling her that I have changed but she doesn't believe me. We have been in the relationship for 3 to almost 4 years. I want to make it work, and since I have no reason to lie, I have completely change for her....... I have truely reformed myself but I have no way to prove it to her if we have a break.....

That right there is probably why she wanted a break. Are you really that dense or just arrogant to say that you have changed simply because you said you did. Obviously if she is telling you you haven't changed [whatever] it is you were doing you HAVEN'T changed. No one says "[blank] is a problem, I need you so stop/start doing it", and then says that you haven't changed when you comply. Its like someone asking you to clean a stain and then denying that you cleaned it up once its gone. It just doesn't happen like that. It sounds like you simply didn't change whatever you were/weren't doing and she finally got fed up.

If she isn't using this as an opportunity to break up with you permanently, well good for you. Hopefully it was enough to make you realize that empty words mean nothing, and that sincere effort and action will prove that you did/didn't change (when you actually put forth the effort to do so). If she does dump you, well go for her for finally taking a stand for herself after four years of "I don't care what you hear or see me [actually] doing, I DID change because I SAID I changed!"

[SwimFish]

We are back together and I have changed.

[Wakeup]

... Lmao ... *waits patiently untll something triggers his old behaviour*

Best wishes, none the less.