Should I tell her I've had sex with prostitutes?

[ctr916]

You should have told her from the beginning that they were prostitutes so she could decide whether she wanted to be with someone who thinks it's fine to have sex with prostitutes.I know I (and a lot of other girls in general)would never even consider dating a guy who has slept with prostitutes.The idea of a man paying for sex is disgusting to a lot of girls and lying about it and trying to pretend something you are not is disturbing. You obviously thought she would not be cool with it if you felt the need to lie about it!!!The worse is that you don't seem to feel any kind of remorse for what you did so you would probably do it again and who knows you could even do it whilst being with her a few years down the line when the novelty of being with her has worn off...

What if we don't call it a date?

[pisces25]

Did you used to be a prositute?

Nope but my ex slept with one. He told me on the first date. He was single for 6 months and not the type of guy to go and pick up just anyone so he paid to have sex with a girl. Did I think any less of him? Not at all. In fact I appreciated his upfront honesty and this honesty set the tone for the rest of our relationship. I knew I could trust him to tell me anything. I'd much rather that than have him feel he had to keep secrets.

I think Wakeup is spot on and age has a lot to do with this. At 19 if my BF had of told me that I would probably have a different opinion but as you mature things like this aren't the big deal they once were. Most people realise there is much more to worry about in life and aren't so selfish and narrow in their views.

[Cerby]

Picking up a woman and fking her for free while using condems and having been tested is NO different that hiring a prostitute if you think about it.

It's just thrifty, I'd rather keep the money in my pocket!

[MaidenMinx]

Yup. Prostitution in the United States is an ugly, demeaning, abusive, HORRIBLE thing to happen to a woman. I've been in countries where it wasn't - the difference is stark.

One thing I would like to ask the women that wouldn't be with a man who had slept with a prostitute is, does it make any difference at all that OP was on holidays, in his teens and doing that somewhere legal where the demoralising arguments don't count?

[vashti]

I don't really understand why anyone would go to Amsterdam for any other reason than to hire a whore, so my assumption is that any male who has been there (and isn't visiting relatives) is going for that reason.

[MaidenMinx]

I don't really understand why anyone would go to Amsterdam for any other reason than to hire a whore, so my assumption is that any male who has been there (and isn't visiting relatives) is going for that reason.

Maybe to consume copious amounts of pot? To enter a strain in the Cannabis Cup? hahahaha That there is why I would assume a guy had been to Amsterdam. :p

[vashti]

Maybe to consume copious amounts of pot? To enter a strain in the Cannabis Cup? hahahaha That there is why I would assume a guy had been to Amsterdam. :p

Eh, we can do that here, too. Just have to drive to Venice Beach, and the whole street is lined with "medical marijuana" clinics, where they have mannequins wearing slutty nurse uniforms decorating the lobbies. lol

[MaidenMinx]

Eh, we can do that here, too. Just have to drive to Venice Beach, and the whole street is lined with "medical marijuana" clinics, where they have mannequins wearing slutty nurse uniforms decorating the lobbies. lol

lol Where I live, guys can go to lovely legal brothels.

Some days I wish Australia would get on board with the medical marijuana, other days I am glad we haven't.

[JadenMia]

Hm, if it were me, i wouldnt honestly say anything. Its not a big deal to you, you were younger, on a lads holiday... It all depends on her whether she reacts badly to it. Its none of her busines really and has absolutely nothing to do with your relationship. I think to be truthful, if my boyfriend told me out of the blue he lied about this stuff and it came out that he had slept with a hooker, i would probably think differently about him. Even though i shouldnt, i know deep down i would and would probably leave.
Keep it to yourself and your mates and all should be good

[amanda.m]

If it's really going to eat you up then tell her but from the sounds of it be prepared for some kind of argument or her getting mad/upset. in a way you did lie but what is past is past. Just let her know the only thing that matters now is her and you and your guys' relationship together. you were young and dumb..something we all go through (not necessarily prostitutes but hey we have all done something haha) . If she can't get over it then she isn't worth it. if she loves you and really wants to spend the rest of her life with you...something that happened before her wouldn't hold her back. Good luck!

[Bo]

Here yes. In countries where it's legal and regulated, not so much.

Even if it's regulated women are often mistreated. And yes, the sex industry is booming, there's a reason for it. I think it's sad that the sex industry is just about the only big industry in which women get paid more than men....and that is excluding pimps who "own" their prostitutes. I often ask men who think it's totally a-ok if they would be ok with their daughters selling their bodies, would you be ok with your wife or significant other stripping or having a past in which those were included? Would you feel entitled to know?

The ideas behind the sex industry and how disturbing it is really is sickening. But most people don't see that, they hearing moaning and dirty talk and see big O-faces and assumes it's all for good fun. Which is quite disturbing in itself.

I don't really understand why anyone would go to Amsterdam for any other reason than to hire a whore, so my assumption is that any male who has been there (and isn't visiting relatives) is going for that reason.

as maidenminx said yes lots and lots of cannabis.....and i hear other drugs as well. lol

[HeartIsAching]

Even if it's regulated women are often mistreated. And yes, the sex industry is booming, there's a reason for it. I think it's sad that the sex industry is just about the only big industry in which women get paid more than men....and that is excluding pimps who "own" their prostitutes. I often ask men who think it's totally a-ok if they would be ok with their daughters selling their bodies, would you be ok with your wife or significant other stripping or having a past in which those were included? Would you feel entitled to know?

The ideas behind the sex industry and how disturbing it is really is sickening. But most people don't see that, they hearing moaning and dirty talk and see big O-faces and assumes it's all for good fun. Which is quite disturbing in itself.



as maidenminx said yes lots and lots of cannabis.....and i hear other drugs as well. lol

Have you seen it first hand? I've been to several countries where it's legal. Totally different than it is here.

[MaidenMinx]

Prostitution is the worlds oldest profession. A song title and a fact.

Some women really do enjoy being prostitutes. They find it empowering rather than demeaning. In the legal brothels near where I live the prostitutes have the control. They don't have to sleep with anyone they don't want to, they don't have to do anything they don't want to do and if a guy tries to push, he thrown out on his arse.

Jeez, if I was single and horny I'd almost consider being one on those terms. Better than taking chances with one night stands with creeps.

[pisces25]

if they would be ok with their daughters selling their bodies, would you be ok with your wife or significant other stripping or having a past in which those were included? Would you feel entitled to know?

If their daughters are of age what say do they have? And as for ex's being strippers or hookers in the past, well again, it is in the past. I don't understand this judgement of what people have done in their past. It should have no bearing on who they are now, unless the relationship is suffering because of it.

Do you want your BF to not have a past at all? What if he told you he used to be addicted to crack and had slept with over 100 women but he was now a changed man and was a loving, devoted boyfriend who you absolutely loved prior to finding out such info. Would you dump him at the drop of a hat coz of his past?

[IndiReloaded]

Some women really do enjoy being prostitutes. They find it empowering rather than demeaning.

Bullshit, Minx. Seriously, if any of those women were qualified to do anything else, most of them would.

Sorry, but would you really say its okay if your daughter said "Mom, when I grow up, should be become a doctor or a prostitute?"

I can only assume that most of you have never been to a 3rd world country and seen how prostitutes 'live'. Excepting Bo, it seems.

bout 80% of women in prostitution have been the victim of a rape. It's hard to talk about this because..the experience of prostitution is just like rape. Prostitutes are raped, on the average, eight to ten times per year. They are the most raped class of women in the history of our planet.

Prostitution is an act of violence against women which is intrinsically traumatizing. In a study of 475 people in prostitution (including women, men, and the transgendered) from five countries (South Africa, Thailand, Turkey, USA, and Zambia):

62% reported having been raped in prostitution.
73% reported having experienced physical assault in prostitution.
72% were currently or formerly homeless.
92% stated that they wanted to escape prostitution immediately.
(Melissa Farley, Isin Baral, Merab Kiremire, Ufuk Sezgin, "Prostitution in Five Countries: Violence and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder" (1998) Feminism & Psychology 8 (4): 405-426


Oh, and in case you think this is only in 3rd world countries:

A Canadian Report on Prostitution and Pornography concluded that girls and women in prostitution have a mortality rate 40 times higher than the national average. ( Special Committee on Pornography and Prostitution, 1985, Pornography and Prostitution in Canada 350.