Rekindle an old flame?!?

[bvvt02]

We met through a mutual friend the summer of my junior year in highschool. We hit it off right away. We started off as friends but immediatly knew there was something there. We had a beautiful young relationship for a year and some months. We talked about the future and we believed then we were meant to be together. He'd say, "the girl of my dreams finally has a face". He ended things because we started arguing about stupid little things (nothing of substance). Looking back on it now we were too young to understand that whole "you gotta pick your battles" thing. We drifted for part of our senior year, dated different people our senior year, nothing serious. Yet, when we saw eachother (we had/have mutual friends) we knew there was still something there. We went to different colleges, he invited me to his fraternity formal freshman year and people would always say you are the girl for him he's been waiting for you. Nothing came out of it, I cant recall why. I started dating a new guy I met in college our second semester but when I came home for summer sparks flew again. He would visit me at work and begged me to give us a chance. It didnt feel right leaving my current boyfriend, I was scared of the long distance, my mom did not like him for breaking my heart. To make a long story it seemed like the odds were against us at the time.

We went our separate ways once again -dated different people, lived our respective lives in college but we still managed to keep in touch. We'd talk via internet, texts, etc. We became good friends. He'd give me advice on boys and vice versa -- yet every time we came home for the holidays and saw eachother there was something there. The way he'd look at me -- just that feeling, we both knew it. Senior year came I met a guy whom I thought made me forget our relationship -- we graduated, he continued to Law School and I took a year off before medschool. That was when we started to dwindle he met a girl in law school. I think at that point we thought we had found "someone better". Yet when I came home for christmas after my guy and I broke up -- our sparks were still there. I wanted to respect what they had so nothing ever came of it. Two years later -- this past christmas -- it happened again. We kissed. He was in the process of breaking up/figuring out what he was going to do with his girlfriend. He admitted to having feelings but said that things were just complicated with his girlfriend. I understood, I told him I didnt want to be that girl that broke them up. He admitted how nice it was to kiss me again. I left to go back to medical school and never looked back.

We are both home for the summer, nine years after we first fell in love, both single. We went out to celebrate his law school graduation this past weekend. We kissed again. We talked about our past and our stupid fights, life, we laughed, had the best time. He asked to hang out again the next night. I went over to his dad's place and we had a couple of drinks with the intetions of going out and ended up staying in talking about our new life, our likes dislikes, and it was so beautiful to know we still had so much in common. I was afraid that I was holding on to the past, but it was like starting over. He's truly an amazing person. He grabbed me we kissed.

Now it's all I can think about. He's currently on vacation. Before he left he said "I really have had a great time these past two nights..Im sorry to have to leave and put the fun on hold!" ...We've made plans to see eachother when he gets back in two weeks. I dont know what to do. I guess Im scared that he doesnt feel the same -- he'll be working in different country for three months starting Nov and I will be returning to school for another year. I know he "likes me" and that we both have strong feelings for one another. I love him as a person, I respect him, and at the end of it all I want his happiness. I know he feels the same about me. But Im scared that his feelings aren't as strong. He's always set the standard. I think we have both always searched for someone who has made us feeling something stronger than what we felt. Why do we always come back to eachother? Why are most of our friends married or engaged and we are both still here? Should I tell him how I feel before he leaves even if he doesnt bring it up? What if he doesnt feel as strongly as I do? :/ ugh advice thanks

[MaidenMinx]

Oh hun, take the leap!! Do it! Do it! Do it!

[bvvt02]

Thanks MaidenMinx. I guess my concern stemmed from the fact that I mentioned my situation to a friend (who doesnt know him) who said that his "put the fun on hold" statement meant he was in it for a fling. What do you think?

I did not take his statement like that when I read it. To me it was a genuine "I thorougly enjoyed spending time with you" sort of thing. It has been awhile since I've been in the dating scene so understanding the male "code" is a little hard for me lol. I dont see him as the kind of guy that would just use me or play with my feelings especially after we blatently exposed our feelings for one another this past Christmas.

[MaidenMinx]

I can understand your friend jumping to that conclusion, but I personally think it's worth the risk.
Carpe that diem!!

[HeartIsAching]

Give it a shot... what've you got to lose? Well, besides your heart.

I'm a sucker for a "lost love" story - my wife was one. I spent 8 years thinking I'd never see her again, trying to forget her. Now I get to be married to her. I'd say it's worth the risk.

[bvvt02]

Thanks HeartIsAching, Ive never been much of a believer in fate and destiny but he makes me believe otherwise. We've always come back to one another some how -- there's gotta be a reason right? Glad to hear your success story. I hope mine works out the same