Am I too overprotective? Do I need to back off?

[Jtequila]

Plain and simple. My gf just turned 21. I'm 20. I'm a recovering alcoholic and I had a fake ID for a while. She's gone to the bars once for her 21st but now she's wanting to go a lot more. It bothers me a lot because I won't be able to be there when things get crazy or out of hand. She's done some crazy things in the past and the fact that they've happened really bothers me. My question is if I'm being too protective of her when she tells me not to wait in the truck for her outside of the clubs and bars. I had a bad experience when I was 18 and bar hopping and club rocking. All of the bars and clubs up here get nasty and rowdy. She tells me I'm
Not letting her be free only because I'm 50 feet away from the bar entrance. Sorry if I'm paranoid? Idk. Where am I on this one? Am I wrong or right?

[rjg117]

I completely understand where you are coming from mate. Try back off a little and trust her. Explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable when she goes out like that. If she loves and respects you, she won't go out as often.

If she still does and it makes you this uncomfortable, consider if she is the right one for you. Maybe you need to find someone with a different personality who is not as interested in club hopping etc.

To start with just give it some time, let her "be free" a little bit. Maybe she just needs to get it out of her system.

[Blahblahblah19]

It's very sweet that you care about her to wait outside a club for her to finish, but I think you're on the bad side here. She is finally allowed to drink and do whatever she wants legally, let her enjoy it. Honestly your, for lack of a better word, "wisdom" on the effects of alcohol negatively affects you because you're maybe assuming she will do what you do. If she really truely cared, she would stay away and just drink at home with some friends. However, I do now know enough about the relationship to go into that. But from a girl's perspective, you are being to overprotective. And by this she will continue to feel as though you don't trust her, so back off a little and trust her until she gives you a reason not to.