What is your take on breaks?

[Way2Roux]

How do you personally feel about couples "going on a break" from one another. Is it ever necessary?

Discuss.

[nerdy_guy]

Maybe that is the reason why married couples get a divorce. They don't get breaks

[MaidenMinx]

More often than not when one partner asks for a break it's a wussy way of saying they want to break up.

That's not to say that once in a relationship you don't need your own space. In a healthy relationship you'll get enough space to not need a break.

[Deeza07]

My guy and I had a break about 6 weeks ago. He suggested it, as he was having some major issues with his ex wife and didn't want me dragged into it. We kept in touch everyday - the break only ended up lasting 4 days before he realised how much he missed me. I think they can make or break a relationship.

[jormungand]

i'm currently on one now, and it feels like more of a breakup. i always gave her space during the relationship to go out with her friends, and never ever made it about me or was selfish with her time.

personally, i think they can be healthy if you're still in very light contact with eachother, but completely cutting someone else off during that time can make the dumpee's life a living hell. good luck.

[devonbrown]

I think that "breaks" are really just people's ways to try to have their cake and eat it too. Normally one of the two people want to go explore something with someone else, but still want the safety net of getting back with someone. So while I agree with MaidenMinx's opinion, I think it could also be someone's wussy way of wanting to cheat on their bf/gf.

If someone is in a relationship where they feel they need to take a break from their significant other, I feel that they have already lost himself or herself to the "coupleness." And that is not healthy.

[bulrush]

More often than not when one partner asks for a break it's a wussy way of saying they want to break up.

I have to agree this is the case with most "breaks". Sounds like one partner is not getting what they need and they want to keep the original partner "in reserve". They should really talk about things and try to resolve the issue before taking a break, as a break which can really damage the relationship.

In some cases, one partner simply wants variety in the bedroom. If this is the case, and my partner won't even discuss their own needs, I personally do not want that partner with poor communication skills. It will be a "breakup" for me. If they don't even try to talk about what's wrong and how to solve it, I dump them.

A partner with weak communication skills means no more relationship to me.

[girl68]

My view is breaks don't work. You either 1) want to explore a new and exciting someone 2) want to break up for good and don't know how to say it.

[Way2Roux]

Deeza,

I'm so glad you responded. I love my boyfriend, but he still has a lot going on w/his ex, as they have a three year old together. I try not to get involved because no matter what he says about her, I can never know the full story and it's none of my business. I don't know her and don't know what happened between them, but I do know the following:

1. I love him, he loves me, I know he is a good person and a great Dad
2. She refuses to talk to him, but looks for reasons to take him to court (he's never been in trouble- it's an annoyance more than anything else)
3. It makes him sad that she doesn't talk to him. This makes me sad because it makes him sad because I care about him

Needless to say, this cycle can be emotionally draining. Sometimes it isn't. Fortunately, things are looking up lately because he just landed himself a HUGE job and the prorated child support money that his ex receives will now more than double. This is bound to make her happy. If she is happy, then everyone else is happy, too. Sometimes it feels like she is in charge of all three of us. This gets on my nerves, mainly because I think that it's not only weird but also sad that she doesn't communicate with us, since we are essentially sharing time with her child.

I find myself, at times, wanting a break from all of it, and yet, I don't actually want a break from HIM... I just wish sometimes that the ex was non-existent. Sometimes it feels this way, and these are the times when he and I are the happiest. I have no complaints about the child whatsoever. She is a good kid.

[HeartIsAching]

Personally Zuros, I feel that it's a wimpy way of breaking up. If you want to break up with your boyfriend dude, just nut up and do it.

[Leona77]

More often than not when one partner asks for a break it's a wussy way of saying they want to break up.That's not to say that once in a relationship you don't need your own space. In a healthy relationship you'll get enough space to not need a break.

I agree. In fact...I have done it myself. After 5 yrs together with my 1st boyfriend I didn't know how to deal with the lack of love I was feeling. I didn't know whether it was a temporary crisis or the end of the relationship. I asked for a break and I only called him when I missed him so much that I needed to get back together. I would then spend only 2-3 days to realize again that something was wrong. I felt so guilty and sad and sorry and yet I could not birng myself to love him. I know I made his live living hell because every time he would ask me if I loved him I would go mute... I was also very depressed because of not knowing why I was feeling the way I did and because I was hurting him....Eventually, I realized I was out of love, and broke up for real...
So, speaking from experience, yes..he will eventually break up with you...one more thing: is there a chance he is getting back together with his ex?

[Way2Roux]

Personally Zuros, I feel that it's a wimpy way of breaking up. If you want to break up with your boyfriend dude, just nut up and do it.

Are you trying to be funny or do you actually still think I'm this random guy???

[HeartIsAching]

Are you trying to be funny or do you actually still think I'm this random guy???

It's possible. You phrased this exactly the way "Zuros" does his inane posts.

[Way2Roux]

I agree. In fact...I have done it myself. After 5 yrs together with my 1st boyfriend I didn't know how to deal with the lack of love I was feeling. I didn't know whether it was a temporary crisis or the end of the relationship. I asked for a break and I only called him when I missed him so much that I needed to get back together. I would then spend only 2-3 days to realize again that something was wrong. I felt so guilty and sad and sorry and yet I could not birng myself to love him. I know I made his live living hell because every time he would ask me if I loved him I would go mute... I was also very depressed because of not knowing why I was feeling the way I did and because I was hurting him....Eventually, I realized I was out of love, and broke up for real...
So, speaking from experience, yes..he will eventually break up with you...one more thing: is there a chance he is getting back together with his ex?

The odds of me breaking up with him aremore likely than the odds of him breaking up with me, only because I willingly deal with his baby mama drama baggage. That's not even to say that the odds of us splitting up are particularly likely at all: we get along too well.

When you asked "is there a chance he is getting back together with his ex?" I had to laugh. Oh, and she got married recently =)

[Way2Roux]

It's possible. You phrased this exactly the way "Zuros" does his inane posts.

So, you're calling my posts insane?