It all started with me drunk texting this girl and telling her how I felt. I didn't shy away from my actions the next day and asked her what's her response. She said she doesn't know and doesn't date co workers. Eventually she ended up saying she has feelings for me and was just confused about so much. I took her out to dinner just to talk things over and what we concluded from that was we'll take it slow and see what happens. I took her out maybe two months later because it was hard to get a hold of her during the summer. She gives a lot of her time to work and her friends. I took her on a nice picnic where i bought an assortments of sandwiches and drinks and also had us do paper mache as an activity. I was disappointed because she wasn't talking about the kinds of things I would expect on a date. She talked about one of her idiot male friends a lot and work. She also didn't eat and only drank a bottle of water. I was quite upset about the whole thing and later had a discussion with her expressing I didn't want to waste time anymore because I didn't feel there was a mutual interest. She is always giving her time to work and her best friends and even to other people who aren't worth giving time to over me. She pleaded for me to give her a chance and stay because her life is so busy and she's so confused. I decided to give it a 2nd chance and go along with it and was waiting to set up another date. The picnic happened at the end of July I believe and a 2nd date never happened. I became frustrated many times over the course of everything and had maybe 2 more discussions with her about the same stuff. She opened up more each time and said the reasons she's so confusing and difficult is because she's very protective of herself to open up to guys because she had a bad past relationship and her family structure has been a constant stress with the passing of her mom some time ago I'm not sure of. She claimed she really likes me and values me in her life a lot. As of the last period of time I was talking to her, she was sick badly and still going to work and school heavy and I just felt bad and wanted to show be there for her a lot so I had an edible arrangement sent to her at work. She thanked me a lot but for some reason I just felt no matter how much I tried to show her how much I cared and how good I was treating her, better than any guy has ever treated her and anyone she knows, it wasn't doing anything to help my case.

I struggled internally often throughout the whole course of this wondering if she really actually liked me or was just the usual scenario I get of, I'm such a nice guy and the girl doesn't want to let me out of their life and ruin their chance at having something good. I decided last week to stop talking to her to see if she'd even talk to me much on her own and actually carry conversations and ask good questions to get to know me. None of that happened so I was very upset. I went through some other life issues and began to felt like my gut instincts are right and I should start to follow them more so I told her basically I didn't want to do any of it anymore and why. I like the girl a lot because she has a lot of the qualities I like, but I didn't want to be a fool. At the same time people tend to tell me I rush things and I have unrealistic standards and she even said I assume her feelings and never believe what she says when she says how she feels about me. My whole thing is to believe actions over words. Words are good but are just propaganda to me if the actions don't follow. I always felt like I wasn't a factor because if she was interested in me she'd want to hang out with me, and when we talk she should want to know more stuff about me instead of just re-asking questions I ask, and whatever possible to show how she feels. I don't know if its just such that much of a wall that she's afraid to let go and let someone in and show how she feels, or if she really is just trying to keep me in her pocket to use me or something. She definitely is incredibly busy these days with school and work but I've never been a nag to hang out a lot. I actually only been complaining about the lack of conversation and she just blames it on being busy. I don't like how she so popular and always has people wanting to hang out with her and some of her choice of best friends. She actually is quite different from all of them. Right now I actually have been feeling like I've been unfair and would hate to throw something away completely so been torn on whether I should contact her and try to figure things out. I'm curious what others think so I'm going to make a poll but would like any comments as well