Opinions Needed.... Too demanding GF?

[HelloAll123]

I am the girlfriend.

Please help me to decide if I am asking too much of my BF.

We have been together 4 years. Most of that time he was a married man living separately from his wife, while working through a divorce. He is a business owner and did not want to piss his wife off during the divorce, so our relationship has been a secret. They have now been divorced 4 months. As part of the divorce agreement, she works for him in the business. He is worried about her getting angry about him dating me, so I am still a secret to both her and their 20 year old son. His older son knows as do other friends. He is a great guy and we get along well, but keeping me hidden after all these years really bothers me. He wants to wait until more time passes before he slowly brings me into the picture. She calls him when I am there and he evades that I am around. I don't come over to his house unless his son is gone.

I've been waiting so long to have a normal relationship. Am I being too demanding to not want to tolerate this secret relationship any longer? He thinks I am being unreasonable. That he is doing this for us and his business.

We are both in our 50's.

[oldskool83]

its BS. hes devorced. he dont want the work issues so you want a real relationshipo quit and find another job, then you can be made known.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're always going to be a secret unless you put your foot down. He's divorced so, there's no excuse now. His son is 20 years old, and will be totally fine. I think rather than an ultimatum, you should just initiate a break up, and tell him that it's because of his refusal to acknowledge your relationship. Tell him if he's okay with acknowledging you publicly, then you'll stay, but if not then you're gone. The other side of the coin is that you have to be willing to actually leave him. He will almost certainly cave though. Good luck.

[HelloAll123]

Thank you. Since he has introduced me at other social functions, he thinks everything is fine. You are both right. I have been waiting for his divorce to be final for so long... I didnt think this would still be a problem after that. He thinks I should be satisfied since he is finally divorced. I still don't feel like I am in a relationship with him, though. No holidays together. etc. I do need to leave. Even his business partners agreed they don't want anything to rock the boat with his ex-wife because they need her in the business.

He thinks because we do something together that all is fine. Ran a 5k together. Go out to dinner, etc.