How can you tell when a man carries a lot of baggage?

[Hayden10]

I know that sometimes a man might not be into a woman but other than talking about an ex, how can you tell when a man is carrying a lot of emotional baggage?

[oldskool83]

um ask him? pepole sumtimes things things they dont wanna deal with is bagged but to a person who has had some hardships its nothing more then somthing they got thru they can talk about.

are you talking more like being cheated on or a bad relationship like a 1st love with kids?

[scott green]

As him if he has any kids from previous relationships. That's the first question i ask when I meet a new chick. If he has... RUN LIKE HELL!

[Hayden10]

No kids, he just moved to where I live and is paranoid about being paired up with anyone. Really immature stuff, but still

[Hayden10]

well he just moved here and we hung out for a bit. We live abroad and so he is desperately trying to find his place amongst the expats here. I like to do things on the weekends and I told him where I was going next month, only two trips, see if he wanted to go. After that he sort of freaked out. I am actually really annoyed with this.

[vashti]

Then quit pursuing him. He sounds like he isn't interested in traveling with you. I'm sure someone else IS.

[scott green]

Just moved? You do know how stressful moving is? Maybe he just wants to settle in first to his own home before he jumps into anything that could turn heavy or serious. Esp with moving to a new area. People are cautious, and if anything that's a good thing. Shows if he commits he will stay for the distance.

[scott green]

If I just moved someplace and some girl was asking me to go away travelling with her after just a month, I'd be seeing that as a huge red flag. You sound like you are getting too heavy too fast when the poor guy hasn't even settled in to his new place.

[Hayden10]

its more like going to the beach to a city an hour away...

[vashti]

A lot of young guys don't want to be saddled with anything that looks like a relationship. They are interested in playing the field and having fun. THis doesn't mean they have "baggage". It just means they aren't interested in being coupled up. I suspect he feels like you are trying to rope him in.

[scott green]

Maybe he's gay?

[scott green]

A lot of young guys don't want to be saddled with anything that looks like a relationship. They are interested in playing the field and having fun. THis doesn't mean they have "baggage".

Yea, it means he DOESN'T WANT baggage!

[Hayden10]

lol.... Scott Green....no neither do I. I completely understand. He sucks, written off.Thanks

[Hayden10]

well ok, he kind of borrowed money from me because he just got here and is waiting for his first paycheck. I was kind of mad today and wrote him a message reminding him politely that he owns me it. Kind of did it as a way to put distance between us. He wrote back immediately saying that he knows, blah, blah, blah. But now I feel kind of bad about it, not about asking for the money, but about asking him so soon? I sort of felt since he obviously does not want anything with me, I'd want to remind him that it wasn't a free ride.

[vashti]

well ok, he kind of borrowed money from me because he just got here and is waiting for his first paycheck. I was kind of mad today and wrote him a message reminding him politely that he owns me it. Kind of did it as a way to put distance between us. He wrote back immediately saying that he knows, blah, blah, blah. But now I feel kind of bad about it, not about asking for the money, but about asking him so soon? I sort of felt since he obviously does not want anything with me, I'd want to remind him that it wasn't a free ride.

Kind of punitive, aren't you? You really need to learn to deal with the fact that not everyone wants you with a bit more dignity and class.