Finally...got my closure =\

[skyline1627]

So today I finally got my closure.

The begining of october my gf and I broke up with 2-3 years of a relationship under our belts. We are eachother's first love and everything. She's 24 and I'm 21.

It first went down hill when she got into a car accident. No injuries thank god. And suddenly the world fell down on her. She became worried about school, money, needing a new car, job, etc. Then she finally opened up and said "idk how I feel anymore"

Long story short days go by and we have on and off moments of NC and she was never able to go a day without texting me. We never argued or get violent to eachother. We were always calm and well communicated.

During the break up I did a lot to show her that I love her and care about her but I never onced begged for her at all. I supported her decisions and what she wanted to do.

So tonight I went to her house after work and we talked. I tried to keep the conversation normal without mentioning everything but she knew exactly why I was there.

So we talked and eventually got onto the topic. She was crying and I was trying so hard to hold it in. She was saying how much of a good bf I was and that she doesn't know why her feelings faded. She said she feels like a jerk for doing this. I even told her that I can't be her go to guy when ever she has a problem.

She was saying how she was so stressed out and angry about being 24 with a under payed job (she does have an art degree but the job does not relate to it, having trouble finding a job). She also hates living at home in her crowded house. She went to school again for a different degree but is thinking of dropping out to try again art. She is just so drained out with school and work that she does not have time for herself.

I told her that I'm not begging for her back, I just want her to get back on her feet and figure out what she wants to do in life becuase she is just a complete emotional wreck. I'm just tyring to support her ideas and wishes. Which is the reason why I told her I'm giving her space.

I also said that the possibility of us coming together again is still there. It's not like we never shut the idea down. I told her that I'm still there for her but I just can't be around her becuase it will hurt to see when she does get a new bf (which won't happen any time soon). She said she wasn't even going to look and that she does not like any other guy. She is scared of being alone and not being able to talk to me.

As I was about to leave, I gave her a hug and she rested her head on me. She didn't put her arms around me and wouldn't kiss me but thats ok. It seemed like she was mad at herself. But even during all this sadness I was able to make her smile and laugh.

My last words to her were I love you............so much.
She said thank you which was an answer I expected and she cried a lot. When I left she stayed at the window to wave goodbye for as long as she could see my car.

After that I felt so much weight lift off my shoulders.
I know NC is going to be initiated and I really hope the best for her. I do hope that she does come back but I can't say she will or will not. Right now she needs to work her issues through before she can realize what is missing in her life.

She's a nice and simple girl with no external friend drama or goes out drinking or smokes. She's a true sweet heart and I really do wish her the best in finding her happiness.

It's a sad ending but I'm glad it ended this way as compared to other couples that fight and bark at eachothers throat.
Hopefully she'll wake up and realize and come back to me.

[chrish0rn]

Touching story.

So Sad when it ends.

I hope maybe one day she will see sense.

[steviej]

I'm amazed how clinical and detached you've been about it, well done! Keep strong.

[bulrush]

She was saying how much of a good bf I was and that she doesn't know why her feelings faded.

Wow, she's an idiot. She doesn't even realize it's normal that feelings come and go. What matters is that you get along most of the time, and can communicate to work things out. I bet she doesn't even know what the "honeymoon period" means.

I know it's hard breaking up with her, but you are better off without her. She sounds real immature. And she'll just break up with you again when the feelings "fade" again.

[HDBadger]

You sound like a solid guy, OP. Good for you. The world needs more decent people.

I will say one thing about this situation: The problems are 100 percent about her. I'm not saying this to make you feel better. I'm saying it because it's true. Women who dump good guys who have, by all accounts, been good boyfriends, have *serious* issues that aren't easily resolved. She may try to date other guys. It won't work, at least not for long.

I think you've done all you can do. Just leave her alone. Don't contact her. I wouldn't even respond if she reaches out to you, unless she wants to talk seriously about your relationship. She made her bed. Now she has to sleep in it.

[Keating1000]

You sound like such a decent guy.

It's a tragic thing were you try your best, then try your best some more, and then it never seems to be enough.

I really wish that she comes back to you and realises what she has left behind.

Goodluck mate.

[skyline1627]

Thank you all for your generous replies. It means a lot, I mean it really does. Sure put a smile on me seeing people say I'm a good guy when they don't even know me. I know I made mistakes and there have been times where I did treat her wrong in the relationship, but I always did my best to correct them and put them behind. I too felt like as if I had no feelings any more but they were there...just hidden underneat all my stress. I tried so hard to show her how much I love her. Wrote her a 12 page note, told her in person, and I even left a flower on her windshield so she can see it when she got out of work. I really done all I can, and its just up to her now to realize what she is going to miss out on life. She's a good girl and all, she just has a lot on her plate and its making her confused in lost.

Thanks again everyone for your kindness.