HELP LADIES! Retrieve my ex scenario evaluation!

[rylege]

OK here it goes!
BACKGROUND: I broke off the relationship two years ago basically because we were mutually in love with each other and I got scared and wanted to run for the hills! Well I broke her heart and she tried for a full year to get me back, from unanswered emails, texts, birthday cards, and love letters. I intended to get back with her after six months but suffered a tragedy in the family which made my entire life come to a screeching halt! In that time period, roughly a year, she returned a picture of me and some jewelry I bought her in an envelope left under the wiper on my car. I was still reeling from the tragedy in my family and it did not phase me. Now that I am thinking more clearly and since she works on the same installation as I do, I see her from time to time and my love for her resurfaced intensely.

REALITY STRIKES: I then saw her with her new man and found out from one of her girlfriends I know, that they have been together for a year. She had indicated to me that if I felt strongly about her that I should call her. I said: "YEAH BUT SHE HAS A MAN". To which she shrugged and said: "who cares!". I then said: "Is she happy?" to which she replied very unconvinced: "I hope so, but I am not sure".

THE CHASE: It was then I decided to write her a letter of apology and state clearly that what happened was not her fault as she had thought. She emailed me back with deep appreciation for my honesty and kind words. I then a week later emailed her to ask if she wanted to get a coffee sometime, to which a week went by and nothing!. I then decided to take the plunge and go to where she works near my office and confront her. I proceeded to tell her that I missed her deeply, and that I know I screwed up, that I had intended to return but got thrown off track by family matters. I then told her that I loved her and would jump at the first chance to get back together. She finally replied sheepishly and with a soft voice: "I don't know what to say." I told her that I was not there to wreck her current situation, and that if this made her happy then I want that for her because I love her so much that I would gladly withdraw. I then said: "Lets get coffee from time to time. No strings attached, I just want to talk and get to know you again." She replied without hesitation: "OK sure, we'll find a time next week." I asked for a hug for which we embraced and parted.

HER BODY LANGUAGE DURING CONFRONTATION: Her arms were crossed the whole time. When I told her that I missed her and loved her she smiled with delight looking often down and to the left. When I talked about how much I did her wrong, she looked me directly into my eyes with a more subdued smile. It seemed like she was enjoying the entire scene.

CURRENT SITUATION: A week as already passed and I have heard nothing yet. I have been told by many woman that I dropped a bombshell on someone who loved me and that I should give it two weeks to simmer before contact again.

QUESTION: Ladies can you give me my realistic chances with this girl based on this information?

[MerryH]

I was not there to wreck her current situation

False.

I then said: "Lets get coffee from time to time. No strings attached"

False.

I just want to talk and get to know you again.

False.

You're being disingenuous. You do want to wreck her current situation (because she'd have to leave him to be with you,) there are strings attached (because your goal is to be with her) and you don't just want to get to know her again (because you want to be with her again.) She chased you for a year, for whatever reason, and she deserves your honesty now. Tell her what your intentions are. The way you're going about this is kind of sneaky.

Do you have a realistic chance with her? You might. Should she give you a chance? I don't believe she should. You had plenty of chances and she got tired of waiting and moved on, and you should assume she's happy with the choices that she's made. I think it's really unfair of you to interfere with her current relationship. But, you laid it all out there and the ball is in her court. Nothing more you can do. Wait and see if she calls you.

[rylege]

Thanks for the reply and your honesty. It is true that I want her back, and nothing in the world would make me happier than if this new guy screws up and then I know I am in. So in that sense I do want to wreck it indirectly by giving her an option, me! If her friends instincts are correct, and she is not all that into this guy, then I might have a shot, and why would I not take that opportunity when this is someone that I love? I could not live with myself if Idid not try. What I really wanted to know from you ladies is whether or not from the details I have provided, is to whether I am on a fools errand or not. Most people I talk with seem to say it is promising because she is responding in rather atypical fashion to someone who has really moved on. This whole thing has been one emotional nightmare. I just want her back. Oh and by the way, I agree that I deserve to be left in the dust by her for what I did. Nothing in my life thus far has proven to me that Karma exists like this situation. Because now I know what she felt like when I ignored her for a year! Sometimes I get up in the morning and I cannot even look at myself in the mirror for what I did. I told her that!