our first big fight.

[spanish_alex]

hey guys
I'm usually a pretty mature person and always manage to sort things out but I wouldn't mind a second opinion this time around.
ok so we've been together a year, were pretty much perfect for eachother, her fam loves me, I love them you know the rest. its paradise.
anyway, one day a week ago I was at work with my mates, were mechanics, you know how mechanics are, anyway, one of us suggested we msg someone random from our contacts on our phone. we all did it just for a **** around.
I msgd a friend of mind who I hadn't spoken to in a few years but didn't really care about any more, just some random crap like how it going, long time no see. anyway, I deleted the msgs thinking nothing of it because after that day I would never have spoken to her again, it was just some stupid thing we did for a laugh. anyway, she replied at night and my Gf saw it and went crazy, and not believing me. almost leaving me because of it. I msgd the girl a total 2 times that day and would never have replied any more.
is my Gf over reacting? its been over a week.and she's still very upset. I can't see how that is so bad.
what do you guys think?
I hope I gave enough detail, ill.be happy to answer anything else.
thanks, Alex

[Superfantastich]

....said the mature guy

[surfhb]

What? A girl over thinking and over reacting? I don't believe it! I think this story is made up!

[MerryH]

Is she mad because she doesn't believe your fishy explanation, or because you messaged a girl? Because your story sounds like bullshit. You and your mechanic buddies thought it would be fun to message girls things like, "how's it going, long time no see?" And then what? You all giggled about it like a bunch of thirteen-year-old girls prank calling boys at a sleepover? Come on. What really happened? Also, what did the girl's reply say?

But, okay, if your girlfriend has been upset about it for a week simply because you exchanged a couple of completely innocent text messages with another woman, then she's being unreasonable. That kind of possessiveness makes for a bad relationship.

[surfhb]

Is she mad because she doesn't believe your fishy explanation, or because you messaged a girl? Because your story sounds like bullshit. You and your mechanic buddies thought it would be fun to message girls things like, "how's it going, long time no see?" And then what? You all giggled about it like a bunch of thirteen-year-old girls prank calling boys at a sleepover? Come on. What really happened? Also, what did the girl's reply say?

But, okay, if your girlfriend has been upset about it for a week simply because you exchanged a couple of completely innocent text messages with another woman, then she's being unreasonable. That kind of possessiveness makes for a bad relationship.

Actually, this is fairly normal behavior for most guys in one form or another. We just don't let it be known. If women really knew what we were thinking half the time, we'd never get dates.

[MerryH]

Actually, this is fairly normal behavior for most guys in one form or another. We just don't let it be known. If women really knew what we were thinking half the time, we'd never get dates.

What's normal? For a bunch of guys to dare each other to message random girls in their contacts list to ask mundane questions? Is this seriously what you and the OP would have everyone believe. That doesn't make sense.

If it was actually that a bunch of guys dared each other to try to score by messaging random contacts, or even just to send dumb prank messages, or something, then that would sound credible. But I don't think it's likely that his friends put him up to messaging some random girl things like, "how are you" for no reason. That's stupid and pointless.

[spanish_alex]

um I don't care what anyone believes, I just cane for some advice. couldn't care less if you don't believe me. funny though how I'd waste time writing something not true, that'll help me lots huh?

[MerryH]

um I don't care what anyone believes, I just cane for some advice. couldn't care less if you don't believe me. funny though how I'd waste time writing something not true, that'll help me lots huh?

Okay, then. I believe everything you say. The answer is that your girlfriend is being insane. Best break up with her before she further ruins your life.

[surfhb]

What's normal? For a bunch of guys to dare each other to message random girls in their contacts list to ask mundane questions? Is this seriously what you and the OP would have everyone believe. That doesn't make sense.

If it was actually that a bunch of guys dared each other to try to score by messaging random contacts, or even just to send dumb prank messages, or something, then that would sound credible. But I don't think it's likely that his friends put him up to messaging some random girl things like, "how are you" for no reason. That's stupid and pointless.

What Im saying is that when guys hang out we do and say really immature things....Yes pointless and stupid things

I totally believe the OP ...LOL

[Kaius]

Assuming you both are really young...18 - 20 years old.... you are allowed to play around without consequences.
Besides, you didn't do anything wrong. Why is she so crazy and possessive? You know things will never change,
so you either accept her as she is, or you leave now. If you are okay with explaining EVERYTHING EVERY TIME
a girl looks/smiles/talks to you, then stay with this girl. It will drive you insane eventually.

[tmc92ic]

Jealousy is one of the worst things in a relationship. Over assuming and over-reacting to the smallest of details/incidents drives people apart.

If you like her and want to continue being with her just try to convince her that it was nothing but you and some friends messing around at work.

[Cerby]

@SpanishAlex.

I know howmechanics are, have been in the industry for some time, and I don't recall ever doing anything like that, so I do know how mechanics are, and I can't really relate. . .That said, you just have to step back and ask yourself "If I found this on my GFs phone, how would I react?" That generally determines the boundaries you should follow too.

Plus females are just plain unpredictable, something about hormones and being crazy. If you don't want to step on a landmine, stay out of the minefield!

[Okay]

If a guy texted your girlfriend before bedtime, wouldn't you be wondering wtf?
Also what is the girl you texted in relation to you? Is she an ex? Just an old aquaintance? A seriously random person you only met once?

The other girl may take your messages as a love interest.

And as for your girlfriend. Girls react harder the more they love you.
Often they also suffer from paranoia, because lets face it, the media is full of cheaters and ruined relationships.
It doesn't exactly paint nice pictures.

You need to reassess your faux maturity and face up to consequences of childish behaviour.
Good luck anyway.

[spanish_alex]

I live in Australia so culture is different here. I'm actually 23 she is 21. she is not a jelouse person, I have friends that are girls, one of my beat is a girl. I think she was more upset at the fact I deleted the mag as if I were hiding some thing but I only deleted it because I though nothing of it. I had even forgot about it by the time i got home.
anyway, I explained it a bit better to her and she seems to have calmed down after hearing it.

[roxysmiles]

have you thought about waiting till you get your phone bill statement and showing her that u only txt her twice and havnt b4 or since. show her proof so she can realize it was a joke btween guys. my bf is a mechanic and i guess yall r all alike. lol got sum stupid humor that gets ya in trouble.