Confused in love!

[Lion70]

Good people of the forum I need your valued advice. I'm having a serious conflict of emotions and could use your experience and opinions. I've been with a long term partner who I thought I loved. We aren't married but were planning to do so in the next few years. However there is a problem........

I have been increasingly attracted to another woman who I work with. We have known each other for a while and I feel the friendship is growing into something else. There are many signs that this is mutual. What should I do as no matter how hard I fight it I can't get her out of my mind.

I've decided I should spend a little time with her to find out more. She too is in a long term relationship and she has told me is unhappy. We've been out for coffee and lunch and e-mailed loads. Although I seem to have to always initiate the contact. She always responds with positive comments. However recently she has kept her distance and has turned down two attempts to ask her out in the evening. Although in her last e-mail she states "I promise I will be free soon" This is driving me mad! My mind & energy are becoming drained. Is she uncertain, confused or simply playing me? All views on this would be much appreciated. Thanks

[smackie9]

You will meet someone here and there that will intrigue you....this is part of life. This doesn't mean they are someone worth pursuing tho....it's just a quick infatuation that in time will wear off. Never trust anyone that down plays their relationship situation. They are just hitting a rough patch and it will recuperate in time....you to them is just a little escape from their situation. Never look at these things as promising...ever....they are temporary. If you find yourself wondering off the path, focus on improving your relationship instead of straying into something that will probably leave you all alone with no one.

[Lion70]

Thanks Smackie that's what I thought but two years down the line it's still there! We see each other regularly and my instinct tell me there is more to this.

[smackie9]

Two years and she is still with the guy? that spells attention whore.

[bcgirl]

So you have a girlfriend whom you plan on marrying down the road, yet you are willing to cheat on her with someone else?

You can either break up with your girlfriend and pursue this other woman that you've been eyeing. Or.... stay committed with your girlfriend and quit your job so you won't feel the need to cheat.

How would you feel if your girlfriend is thinking about cheating on you? I'm sure you'd be damn pissed off. Be a truthful person.

[smackie9]

When you work closely with someone there is a bond that can develop...sometimes it can be a harmless flirtation, or whatever....still you don't step over the line....it's just there. Like I said there will be crushes, flirtations, but in the long run nothing worth pursuing. Two years and nothing has happened either...am I right?

[smackie9]

To me if you have been dwelling over this for two years, then there is obvious dissatisfaction in your present situation that hasn't been addressed. You are wondering off emotionally.....this means you shouldn't even be considering marriage with your GF at all, and that you should be terminating the relationship asap for her sake...I feel you at least owe her that.....if not you are a selfish bastard.