Me a rebound? I don't think so!

[jack2002]

I'm trying to think about where I start on this whole situation, but anyway there's this girl I fell head over heels for the first time I looked at her and who has always been really flirty with me. Anyway she had a prick of a boyfriend of 6 months who treated her like crap so it's no surprise that they broke up.. so me being a rookie on relationships try and take my first chance with her as she seemed keen and we were unofficially together for a month, dates and such. At this point in time I was so attached to her but that's when the ex came back in to the equation and the moment she started going cold on me I quickly broke it off and in short I told her that "I'm going to let you chase your feelings", "We're not compatible as a couple", "We never will be", "I'm shattered, Can you respect my dignity and not contact me". Following this, I get a few messages which I just ignored and then I deleted her off facebook, I also saw her at a uni party and completely brushed her off. At this point in time she's back with her ex.

2 months passed

As I thought broken up with her ex and through that time I was healing myself and mind****ing her by using NC, the only contact we had was her sending me a friend request on facebook which I accepted only to build up my ego. So the day after they break up I get messages from her saying things such as "i've missed you tonnes" and I broke NC... but with cold replys like "ok, yeah, no...etc" and then at like 2am a couple of says later I get these 2 drunken messages saying "Why won't you talk to me? I just want to talk to you". My drunken reply is because "you're not all to me". But as a result I feel like i've relapsed as I just want to be with her and can't stop thinking about her, even though I won't even talk to her

What do I do? keeping in mind that she's in my 5 year course, so we have to be friends... Am I playing this right by giving her nothing? Do I give her a second chance?

[smackie9]

She picked her ex over you, so that should tell you something don't it? She is just gonna use you again.

[jack2002]

Thanks mate, you are brutally honest and its great!

I feel my biggest mistake was I tried to force her to be in a relationship with me and she told me that I came on to her at the wrong time as she was still dealing with her last relationship.

She picked her ex over me because she was emotionally attached to him, you can't develop an feelings for someone when you haven't let go of the previous relationship. I know short-term this isn't an option for me but I want your opinion on whether you think I should stay open minded about this let say in a few months time after she's rebounded and used another guy?

Also I'm not one to dwell, I'm always going out with friends meeting new girls.. having fun etc.

And it's not going to stop me from dating other girls who I feel attracted to

[smackie9]

Well it's difficult to tell. You see when people are just out of a relationship, they are emotionally displaced, more like the grass seems real appealing on the other side, hence the "rebound" concept. Those feelings are quick, intense, because they have a need to fill that void fast, but fizzle out just as quickly as it started when the initial shock of the relationship ending has worn off. So what she had felt for you in the moment, may never return because of the circumstances, and her emotional state at the time has now diminished. To be honest I doubt it's gonna happen for you.

It's best to forget about it and focus on yourself. Keep doing what you are doing, having fun and dating other girls.

[bcgirl]

you two broken up for a reason.....she picked her ex over you.... now that their relationship didn't work out AGAIN, she comes crawling back to you. Betcha if her ex wants her back again....she'd go back with him AGAIN.