Rekindle/ Re-spark a 5 year relationship. Help Please!

[smg55]

Thank you for coming to my post and I appreciate any helpful tips. Honestly can any negative advice please be avoided this is a very important and sensitive topic to me. Sorry about the long length.

Background: My fiancee and I are both freshman and college. We have been dating since the 8th grade, so for 5 years now. We have been engaged for 6 months now and everything seemed to be going great. We have had our troubles through the last 5 years that is to be expected through high school but we have always work through our issues. The last 6 months have been pretty amazing relationship wise but life has been difficult. My fiancee recently lost both of her grandparents, her parents are divorced and her dad is in a new relationship and he mother is not handling it well. On top of that we are full time students and both work. So putting it mildly you can say our lives are pretty busy and hectic but we try to make the best of it.

The currently problem is that my fiancee brought it to my attention today that our relationship has been perfect for a long time but she still feels unhappy. She also stated that she loves me more than anything but at times she doesnt love the relationship, as if there is not a spark anymore, no fuel for the fire. She pointed out how she has been in bad mood from time to time and knows that I notice it but honestly I had always attributed it to whats happening in her life. There are some major family changes going on that are not pleasant, I did not think it was a problem with us. I love her with all her heart and I know she loves me the problem is how do I make her happy again, how do I keep her here with me. Sometimes I think she gets caught on some of our past issues and cant let them go but Im the opposite once we work something out I put it behind me.

Iv looked all over the internet for tips to spark a relationship but lots of them we already do there are just a handful that we need to try. For example a lot of tips involve kindness, touching, and saying I love you. We hold hands almost all the time, its very comfortable for us and we both seem to enjoy it. We say I love you upwards of 10-20 times a day, we are usually kind to each other, only times were not is when out side issues like being busy get to our nerves. Right now if we are not in person we only communicate through text, we used to call alot but as we got busy calling faded away and now txt is our communication. Sometimes I miss talking on the phone. So that is something id like to rekindle maybe one day a week. Next we have a routine and we do not go out to movies, or dinners, or out much at all. We are full time students and work and we are 60 miles from school each way. So when we are not in school or work we are driving, on week ends she works and sleeps. So we dont find much time for going out, a big limitation is time and that Im not much of a party person, going out to a club does not interest me at all. (I know weird for a college kid... but loud music and drunk people just arnt for me.) I think it may interest my fiancee to a degree though so trying new activities like maybe going to a club or just something new and unexpected.

Can anyone help and give some advice, tips, and so on. Please no advice like take a break, see other people, split up... This is something I want to work through not give up on. Iv will never quit on this relationship it is far to important to me, we are engaged now and I have been in the process of looking at houses planning to move in together. Sorry again about the long length.

Thank you,

Smg55

[couchpotato]

What you need is a full rush-injection.You should try to parachute together from a plane,something like that.It will create tension,shared tension.Forget about breaking up and meeting new people but also try to spend less time together,it gets boring.Also spice up your bed-stories.Dont get offended but spank her a$$ (they love it!!),pull her hair,try new positions.Do this after jumping from the plane.Then spend more time with friends, create need from her.It always works!!!

[Rosebud]

Has she explained more to you as to why she's not happy? With all the stuff going on with family matters there's a good chance it could be reflecting back on her and making her paranoid about her own relationship. Everyone at some point has doubts. As long as you guys have open communication you should be able to figure out what she is needing or wanting. I'm sure right now what she is needing is reassurance that you guys will be ok and not end up like everyone else around her. You don't have to drastic things, just little things to remind her how you feel. Knowing she is a priority is a major one. You may not have a whole lot of time to spare but the time you do spend make it quality. like cooking for her or reminiscing over happy times etc..