Hurt, when I have no right to.

[Lost78]

I was going out with my girlfriend for almost 5 years. We always got along until the last few months when I started to put he pressure on to make sure if she wanted to have a baby so that I knew if I would marry her or not. All that pressure led us to breaking up.

So I gave it some time (6 months now) with little to no contact so that I could try to get over her. Within the past month we slowly started contacting each other, and she came over my house randomly two weekends ago, and we talked and kissed some, saying how we missed each other. I felt like everything was going pretty well, making slow flirtatious comments or calls every few days. We were supposed to meet sometime this week when her daughter would be out with her friends, nothing specific, but I told her uf she got a few hour of free time that we could meet up, and she agreed. But last night, while at the the grocery store, I saw my ex walk in the bar across the street. I couldn't believe my eyes, she is rarely the type to o to bars. I drove across to the bar to make sure it was her, so I wouldn't be in denial, and I saw her car and looked out the right window of my car and old see her in there with another guy. I know I have no right and hold have expected her to be on dates eventually, but it felt like I got punched in my gut. I was not ready to date yet, myself, so I think that's why it hurt so much. I was hoping that I'd be over it by now, since I gave it adequate time, but I am definitely not. I had called her earlier that night, and she never called me back. When I saw her with the guy, even though she didnt see me, I went home and texted her, "I guess now would be a good time for me to stop calling you!". I feel so immature now.

I know I have no right to be hurt, we have been broken up an adequate amount of time and she is doing nothing wrong, but it still hurts so badly. I guess it wouldn't have hurt as much if we weren't planning on meeting up this week and talking again. I feel that I have been played so badly by her now. It makes me think that when she asked to come over two weeks ago, that she probably got turned down by someone or that guy she was on the date with couldn't meet her, so she needed me to comfort her. I'm sorry for the long wrant and I know there is nothing anyone can do. I just needed to vent as it is fresh in my mind and I couldnt sleep all night. I guess I just need to take it as my sign to move on, as tough as it is.

I am obviusly not going to call her now. I doubt she will call me again either, especially after that last text message that I sent, but should I just not answer if she does call me? If I answer, should I bring up what I saw, or just act as if I didn't see anything, or even try o catch to see if she lies about it.

Any help would greatly be appreciated.

Thanks everyone!

[findthelight]

Even if she does call back, would you be okay knowing that she's dating other people why you two are reconnecting? You're right, you don't really have any reason to be upset with her, but you do have your own feelings to protect. I think you need to ask yourself these questions: are you okay with not being the only one right now? And are you okay with knowing that it may not work out and you may never get back together? If you feel those are two roads you can confidently walk down, then answer when if/when she calls you. If you don't feel as though you can jump aboard a train with other guys on it, then I'd suggest no contact while you lick your wounds and prepare for some additional "you" time while you continue to heal. Good luck to you, I hope it all works out.