I'm too young?

[Puddles]

So basically, my problem starts with an older man. He's more than 10 years older than me, and everything that your parents would warn you about. But I know him far better than that and we've actually got a lot in common.

A few months ago we went on a few dates and things were amazing, we couldn't get enough of wah other and I loved the idea that he was thinking of me every day. But somehow other people got involved and started sending messages telling him to back off or he's be sorry. Worried about his family he backed off and didn't talk to me for a few months, needless to say breaking my heart.

Since then we have only just reunited, but nothing as it was but rather a more friends with benefits scheme. He told me during one our meetings that we would still be as we were if it wasn't for the messages. Another friend of mine started talking to him recently and told him that I'm too young and despite the way that he looks at me he needs to know that there's someone better for me. Someone younger. We spoke not long after that and he said that he told her that he knows I'm too young, that he is too old, but then asked me for sex?

I like him alot. I don't think I know what love is, but I know that I care so much for him and would do anything to be with him. How can I know where his head is at or what he feels? Age means nothing to me, especially when there's so much chemistry. Everybody can see it. Maybe I'm missing the point? Does age matter, is it worth trying or should I just leave it as it, knowing I'll live forever not knowing what could have been?

[Topherz]

I honestly don't think age matters. Some people are just so quick to judge. If he makes you happy that's what really matters. Just remember that actions speak louder than words.

[IslaEmerie]

Age doesn't always matter. As long as you are an adult and the other person is not being with you because you are young. But you should be focused more on his actions. Do you really believe he cares for you? You said he has a family, does that mean he is married?

[Puddles]

He was married, but been divorced for a few years now, but he has children from this relationship. His eldest child is closer to my age than what he is. I don't know what he thinks, I cant get him to open up to me since that person wrote the messages.

[IslaEmerie]

Hmm that would be weird for me to date someone who has a kid around my age but sometimes people find someone they connect with and can't help it. But why would his kids get hurt? Is it because you are old enough to be his kid? I think he should open up to you and be honest. You are at a point where you can get hurt or more hurt. To keep having these brief encounters with him and nothing meaningful will probably hurt you more and more the longer it goes on. I've seen things like this happen. It's better to end it sooner when your feelings are not as deep.

[vashti]

Yes, age matters, and I know this because I was married to an older man.

He's using you now as a booty call, and nothing more. He already acknowledged that you aren't old enough for him, but since you make yourself so available, of COURSE he will continue having sex with you. You are young, and you are feeding his ego. Don't even get me started on how many ways it will be bad for you to be involved with his kids.

I think you should get out now, before you get knocked up. Waiting will only make it harder.

[Puddles]

His eldest is 8 years younger than I, as opposed to the 12 between him and I. The messages sent by the person that was threatening him telling him to stay away or he'd get hurt, he's not worried about himself but he's worried about the safety of his kids. I hate how there's always another person ruining things. I don't know how to get him to open up to me and talk about his feelings. He's got this tough guy act so feelings aren't a thing he discusses, any ideas of how to make him open up? I really want to fix this or just get over it. I think the feelings are too deep already but I know I can handle more hurt if it helps me get what I want or at least closure on us.

[searock]

OP, how old are you?

I also think that age *does* matter. I know it because I was in a 2 years and a half long relationship with a guy much older than me. He never considered me his companion, to him I was something young and cute all for himself. He treated with care and affection, but never as an equal. That's not how relationships should be.

I think your own age is what matters most in this matter. Are you older than 30? If so, then it's probably no big deal. If you're younger than 26, I'd say it very much is.

[Puddles]

Thanks for all the help guys! I'm 22, I probably am too young, thinking about what you said about him just thinking I'm a cute little play thing has really got to me.. How do I know what I mean to him? Even if this all turns to crap I don't want to lose him, he's an amazing person. I feel like a massive loser.

[surfhb]

see below...

[surfhb]

Age doesn't matter if you're older but at 22 you're still figuring stuff out. But tell that to my parents who have been married 48 years. She was 22 he was 32

Regardless, this guy is not serious about you anyway