I had been dating my ex for 5 months up until 4 days ago. (may 6th) The first, 3 months were great! talked all the time, had a lot to say and were interested in each others points of views.. She would tell me she liked me a lot, and that she missed me all the time. To be honest we weren't officially dating until the beginning of April, because we were trying to keep it light, which became difficult over time. She lives 700kms away from me, but I get free flights to visit her and unfortunately made the mistake of visiting her every weekend, we never truly had any time apart except for the 4 days that I would be back home working..

Prior to April I started to get frustrated with the fact that, we weren't dating, and she knew this.. she wrote me an email (march 7) telling me that she "wanted to be with me and didn't want me to be frustrated and move on and that i need to have some patience and know that she likes me and wanted to be with me" I accepted this and took comfort in the fact that she knew that was how I was feeling and took the time to write an email.

April we took a trip to Mexico, and everything went downhill from there. I was becoming sad, she wasn't reciprocating emotions and one day she got black out drunk and told me "This isn't going to work, we're not meant for each other" she passed out shortly after, and woke up hours later teary eyes and apologizing saying "that's not me, I don't mean any of those things I said" she then told me that she used to get black out drunk like that with previous bfs and did the same to them. I took this very hard, but accepted the apology, later in the day I think she may have felt horrible and asked me if we could date.. I said yes, because at the end of the day I still cared about her. Although she didn't mean the words she said, Ive always believed that people say their true thoughts when drunk.. those words have weighted heavily on me since.. almost pushing me to a depressed state. We finished the trip and enjoyed it, everything seemed to be good afterwards. I returned home and knew that 2 days later I would be going out to visit her for my bday. I arrive for my bday with a great welcoming from her. Had the best bday of my life. until the following day. She had a dinner party arranged, and had planned it for months all of her friends were there and we were having a great time, until I burned myself making potato skins for everyone. At this time she was black out drunk again, and was furious at me for burning myself, once again informed me that we weren't working out and that I should leave. She passed out shortly afterwards, and again the next day awoke teary eyed and apologizing. That happened twice in less than a week. She said she was going to do something about it and cut back on the drinking around me. But still the words linger in my head, and it would show, as I was sad and bummed out.. and she would see this

After This each progressing weekend became more difficult, she stopped telling me that she missed me and that she liked me. I began to feel like a burden. I also began to feel needy and insecure and this REALLY showed, she began to say that the relationship is becoming too heavy and that we don't laugh anymore. I haven't stopped laughing she did

The weekend before may 6th we went to a party, had a great time and I thought everything was good. until the weekend of the 4th. It was her bday, I planned a party for her had a $80 cake made, bought various gifts like a jewellry box, earrings, some expensive coffee. In order for me to attend her bday made a deal at work that I would work 24hrs striaght to go out there. I did the 24hrs and went. I wasn't greeted kindly at all, when I asked for a hug I got a "ugh" and the half hug with her other arm straight at her side.. this bothered me and I became sad again, and showed it. Asked for a kiss and reluctantly received a peck, making me further sad. to show how I felt about this I slept on the couch. Then her bday came the next day, I made her the coffee I bought her, and waited for her to go to work and started decorating the place. It was nice, however she didn't show much appreciation for anything I had done for her, and showed more appreciation for the stuff other people did for her bday. This mad me angry, but I didn't show it, until we started to drink that night, and it really came out.. I was not myself at all I was tired and resentful.I also found out that night she had accepted a job on a cruise ship and didn't tell me. I withdrew myself from the party and went upstairs, she came up too, and said this isn't working and that we should go back to what we were before. I agreed, reluctantly. She said "maybe we should take a break I'll see you in june" she also said "please dont do anything with other girls, I wont be doing anything with other boys" since then we've been talking but only 2-3 texts a day and they are short and impersonal.. it's killing me inside..

I deeply care about her. infact I may have dropped the "L" bomb to her when she said it wasn't working out and that we should take a break, but I ment it.I will however wait out the time until june, I want to see if it could still go somewhere. Should I see other people? Should I cut off communication? I want her back and want her to see me for who I was when we first started seeing each other.. and not the needy sad lil bit#h she's seen in the last month. I want to fix this but dont know how..