MY dilemma

[ursula]

Ok here it goes I have been dating a man for the last 5 months and we spend lots of time together, he is very sweet at times but can also be a very difficult man. I recently was upset because i thought he was cheating on me and even though i saw some pretty good evidence ill leave it at that. I left his house at 4 am without a word, and them began the texting back and forth from both of us. One day later I tried talking to him and he said he could not change gears as quickly as i could, because i was ready to move on, and he needs time to figure it all out now. I don't understand what is so bad, so i got a little jealous and now he has not called me in a few days. I so much want to talk to him but fear pushing him away even more, help what do i do?

[Jason250]

You want to give him a good to talk with each other are need to communicate

[Wakeup]

Ok here it goes I have been dating a man for the last 5 months and we spend lots of time together, he is very sweet at times but can also be a very difficult man. I recently was upset because i thought he was cheating on me and even though i saw some pretty good evidence ill leave it at that. I left his house at 4 am without a word, and them began the texting back and forth from both of us. One day later I tried talking to him and he said he could not change gears as quickly as i could, because i was ready to move on, and he needs time to figure it all out now. I don't understand what is so bad, so i got a little jealous and now he has not called me in a few days. I so much want to talk to him but fear pushing him away even more, help what do i do?

You saw pretty good evidence that he's cheating and you want to chase him and make him forget that you failed to communicate and instead just walked out on him without talking.

Now he's doing the passive agressive manipulative bullshit back to you. Neither one of you seem emotionally mature enough to be in anything of substance. Why not just let this one fade away and thank your lucky stars that you've both found out what you're both like as a couple before it turned into world war three.

... You found evidence that he cheated ... that should be enough of a red flag for you to not fall for his manipulative "now I have to step away to see if you're worthy enough for me" crap.

[Sixpacj]

You saw pretty good evidence that he's cheating and you want to chase him and make him forget that you failed to communicate and instead just walked out on him without talking.

... You found evidence that he cheated ... that should be enough of a red flag for you to not fall for his manipulative "now I have to step away to see if you're worthy enough for me" crap.

No. Fail.

She "saw pretty good evidence but she will leave it at that". Which does not mean anything. OP, did you find evidence that she cheated on you or not?

I am having a problem here, I am not sure if the OP is not trying to lead us in a specific direction to get an answer she would like. Not that it's wrong in and of itself, just don't know if she wants to hear "it's not your fault" or what she can do better/different next time...

1. So you found "pretty good evidence" and "you will leave it at that" and you left the house without a word? Correct?

2. Then the "texting began" Who started it? you or him? What did you say?

3. What does it mean "you got a little jealous" what exactly did you do or say, if you don't mind? Did you break up with him? Did you insult him somehow?

4. Why don't you suggest a meet to explain things? CALMLY

[searock]

Did you find evidence that he has been cheating on you? If so, then why do you want to get back together with him?

In any case, what you did (stomping out of the house at 4 am) was very impulsive, you need to realize (if you haven't already) that it's not an effective way to deal with things. You should have kept your cool and waited until morning to talk about the evidence you found, with him.

If he hasn't been cheating on you, your behavior likely made him realize that you are very impulsive and unreliable, therefore he is rethinking your relationship and holding off contact. If he has been cheating on you, same as above, plus he may be thinking "what the heck, I might as well stop doing things behind her back and dump her directly".

If you really want to talk things through with him, you should call him (no texting) and apologize for your rash behavior, and ask to meet up somewhere to talk.