Kissed my ex.. about to go travelling but still love him so much. Help me!

[Kealy]

I can't really believe I'm even still posting here about this situation but I just can't get my head straight and feel so confused and lost right now.

I broke up with my ex last August.. so around the 9 month mark now. I feel that over the past few months I've been moving on quite well and have tried to maintain as little contact as possible, though we've still kept in touch and I would hear from him every couple of weeks or so. But I have tried to get out there and make plans and move my life on. So I decided to join some friends who are currently travelling and I'm leaving in a couple of months time. I just met with my ex at the weekend with the intention of getting some 'closure' on us, and just to say a goodbye I guess. I assumed it would be find because I really had been feeling fine about the breakup recently.

But when we were together it was just so easy and so natural, and it was literally like we hadn't been apart at all. All the feelings rushed back again and I felt happy..... truly happy in his presence. I hate this because of course, I'm leaving. He told me that he has been trying to get his head together about us and decide what he really wants, and he more or less said that if I wasn't going away perhaps we would get back together. I know he could only be saying this is test the water or keep me attached.. I really don't know.. but he seemed genuinely distraught that I'm leaving and cried to me and everything. I ended up kissing him.. I don't know why as all it did is remind me how much I truly love him. I'm not going to change my plans but I still love him so so much and just feel so confused about everything. He has said that he is not going to be looking for anyone else in the time I'm gone, but I don't want to rely on that or come back hoping he will want me when he really may not. I know I should be so excited about my plans but since seeing him I feel like such a huge part of me is still tied to him. I can't explain how it is when we're together but it just feels... right. I know I'm sounding really waffled but I would love for some of you to give me some words of wisdom on this situation. Thank you

[Nightstar]

Coming from a man thats been in that situation, and the woman kept telling me she couldn't promise anything, and in the end sleeping around, i lost all respect for her, even as a friend, because i knew she cared for me and she knew too.. So in a way i have a chance to make sure some other man doesn't feel that pain i felt so im saying this now. put his mind at ease, be a respectable girl, if their is no one else in your life, and u love him, you should not sleep with anyone on your trip, you should respect yourself and him and when you come back tell him you were loyal, he will respect you and love you for your loyalty because so many loose women out their not knowing what they want and sleeping with people thinking it will sort things but it wont.

Tell him you plan to make things work when you return and stick to what you say, your relationship thereafter will be strong because he will respect you and you will respect yourself.

[smackie9]

Just enjoy your trip....once you are on your way he will temporarily slip from your mind and you will be OK. No worries, it's only two months. This trip is the experience of a life time, love can wait.

If he is your true love then it is up to you to not sleep around, but in reality what happens on the trip stays on the trip....you don't have to tell him anything, and he doesn't have to tell you anything either because remember you two are not official or didn't bother to made it official. It is unrealistic for the both of you to actually promise to stay faithful...anything can happen, big frickin deal. Hell you two already have been apart for 9 months, what's another 2.....just enjoy your trip and put this on the back burner till you get back.

[Jason278]

Thanks for your post.

[Kealy]

I'm actually going away for 8 months with the possibly of extending it. It's a working holiday visa so I'll be away for quite some time. I understand what you're saying, I just still feel so attached to him and feel like we have such a bond and seeing him has just reminded me of that. I will try to make the most out of the opportunity but it is just difficult knowing I will be gone for so long and he could potentially meet someone new in that time or just forget about me completely :/

[maria178]

Tell him you plan to make things work when you return and stick to what you say, your relationship thereafter will be strong because he will respect you and you will respect yourself.

[smackie9]

Don't ever put you life on hold for a "what if?". This is just a small flutter of the heart....it will be gone before you know it. Yes it is very likely he will meet someone,and so will you. Listen you obviously forgot there was a reason why things didn't work out between you two. Looking back you had plenty of time to reconsider trying again....don't be fooling yourself, this departure was meant to be. There will be plenty of opportunities in your future now to find "the one".

[Nightstar]

I think if you have love for each other and can u should find a way to make it work, why feel like your soul is torn when u can make each other happy, even if it's not now... Later...

I know I'm not ur average guy but if their is after your tour of duty overseas a way u can be together, you should stick by your guns and try work it out after all he knows theirs no one else like you and you know theirs no one else like him, I'm not trying to make things harder but I think after u had your trip see how you feel.

And be open to the possibility of maybe getting back together and making it work because ou know where it went wrong and how to make things better.

It annoys me just how many people think they can throw away years of love with someone for the vauge hope of finding "The One" because there is no such thing as "The One". if your waiting for the perfect "One" you will be waiting for a very long time..

No man or woman on this earth doesn't have difficult times together and no man or woman are perfect, but what you can do is try to get as close to perfect as can be and make it work for you.

Why do ou think married couples last for 30 years? Because they make it work.. Anyways I'm getting diverted here but seriously, follow your heart and make a positive out of your situation because if you can see the good in the past and that good is still there then that's foundations for something.

Let's simplify. If you go on your search for "The One" do ou think you will be as happy as you once were? If he answer is yes let him down and move on, or if your heart says otherwise follow it and in 8 months time hopefully you will be happy again

[Rigoberto1]

Great idea!

[smackie9]

I think if you have love for each other and can u should find a way to make it work, why feel like your soul is torn when u can make each other happy, even if it's not now... Later...

I know I'm not ur average guy but if their is after your tour of duty overseas a way u can be together, you should stick by your guns and try work it out after all he knows theirs no one else like you and you know theirs no one else like him, I'm not trying to make things harder but I think after u had your trip see how you feel.

And be open to the possibility of maybe getting back together and making it work because ou know where it went wrong and how to make things better.

It annoys me just how many people think they can throw away years of love with someone for the vauge hope of finding "The One" because there is no such thing as "The One". if your waiting for the perfect "One" you will be waiting for a very long time..

No man or woman on this earth doesn't have difficult times together and no man or woman are perfect, but what you can do is try to get as close to perfect as can be and make it work for you.

Why do ou think married couples last for 30 years? Because they make it work.. Anyways I'm getting diverted here but seriously, follow your heart and make a positive out of your situation because if you can see the good in the past and that good is still there then that's foundations for something.

Let's simplify. If you go on your search for "The One" do ou think you will be as happy as you once were? If he answer is yes let him down and move on, or if your heart says otherwise follow it and in 8 months time hopefully you will be happy again

Have you ever been asked to wait? I have and it had devastating results....people can change a lot in 8 months.

[Nightstar]

- Ive been made to wait yes, but it depends on the person, unfortunately she cheated and proved that she was the wrong person.
Despite the negative knock, I do think though there is someone out their worth waiting for, why should it be the same with anything else if two people love each other and want to make an effort? I did long distance relationship it was hard but we talked every night till 3am, call it weird or whatever but i got used to it, it became our time... They ddnt seem so far away after that...