Being to nice

[ufas1987]

Women....is there really a point of being to nice in a relationship? I mean I understand that smothering isnt a good thing...thats not the issue. The issue is during my last relationships after Ive been let go I was told I was to nice. This is weird to me because isnt that what women are looking for? Im not a complex person and I can hold my own if I need to but I just dont really do anything that warrents an argument. Do I have to pick fights to keep a relationship? I just dont understand. Even when Im single and looking I am nice and give them attention, but after awhile it fizzles out. From what Ive been told Im a very attractive guy. I go to the gym 5 times a week and am in really good shape. Im also told that Im a very nice guy and a catch....but why doesnt anyone commit?

[vashti]

When girls tell you that you are too nice, it means they think you don't have any backbone, and can be easily walked all over. You need to learn to have better boundaries, or people won't respect you, especially not women.

[IndiReloaded]

Don't know what you mean by 'too nice'. Surely these girls gave examples? Are you afraid of confrontation? Do you let other people do things to you that aren't right?

Do a google search for 'how to be assertive'. Start here:
[url]http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200402/assertive-not-aggressive[/url]

[bluesummer]

When girls tell you that you are too nice, it means they think you don't have any backbone, and can be easily walked all over. You need to learn to have better boundaries, or people won't respect you, especially not women.

Vash took the words out of my mouth. You can be a nice guy and still know how to assert yourself respectfully when necessary. Dont give in to everyone all the time, INCLUDING your girlfriends. It's ok to say no to things once in awhile, voice an opposing opinion on something, or express your feelings about things if you're feeling hurt or offended.

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah . women love a bad boy. they pretend they want a nice polite new man, but really they want told to stfu and make the dinner. they like to know their place, it makes them feel secure. if you treat them too nice , they dont have any boundries and will probably end up cheating on you or leaving.

my advice is pretend like you dont give a shit, they love it

[bluesummer]

^ Don't listen to this guy, he has no clue what women like.

If my husband told me to stfu and make dinner he'd be sleeping alone and cooking his own damn dinner. My 'PLACE' is right beside him as an equal.

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah dont listen to me,

before i got trapped by a woman , i was beating them off with a shitty stick and ive never even walked past a gym, let alone go 5 times a week. a woman wants to tame a man, its their nature. if you are already housetrained they feel redundent. so even if deep down you are a nice guy, you need to be more of a caveman to attract them. another vital skill, is try and be funny. i know its easier said than done , but make a woman laugh and you can virtually treat them how you want.

[Asip4u]

In old days sure i'd agree on that. Today women are more independent and in a lot of cases have more money and all that. Unless they're totally messed up (childhood trauma and so on) maybe then they'd want a guy who treats them that way. These days women are making calls on who they want so thinking she'll want you if you call her names and other shit...dream on.

[smackie9]

Too nice means you are boring, a push over zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. When you are too nice it is looked as weak, and smothering......women want confidence, and for the guy to step up and take the lead (make the decisions, call the shots), be a challenge, be less available. And give the girl some space......look into the push and pull method.

[IndiReloaded]

Be the best person *you* want to be. Not b/c you think it will attract girls (or not). A good man will attract a good woman. The fact these gals left means they aren't right for you. Be grateful they didn't stick around and cause you misery.

[Jason960]

Thanks for your post.

[JenniferLR]

I think it kind of sounds like you are just dating the wrong type of girls for your personality. But girls like to have SOME type of passion, a lot of that comes from arguments and not always agreeing. If this is your nature "being nice" then find someone who wants exactly that. Don't conform to anyone.

[Stanle1]

bumb ubm!