How to not fall into you"re ex"s trap

**R3AL_LUV** · 06-06-12, 09:57 PM

Have you just gone through a rough breakup with the person who you have spent so many years with? It hurts then you stop all contact only for a few months later they message you asking how you are? Which ignite new hope of winning them back. Then months go by and you talk everyday but they have no intentions of getting back with you and they even tell you not to get your hopes up but they still make the odd statement of "do you remember when we...." or " i miss us". What I"m trying to say is that you should"nt allow your ex to get back in your life if they do not have any intentions of getting back with you because exes that come back in your life often just miss the attention that they use to get from you and nothing else and start playing all sorts of games with you including telling you that other boys or girls like them and that they are so happy but the reality is that they have tried to move on without you but have failed and need you in their lives but make it sound as if they are doing you a favour because they are in your life again. If you broke up then it means that you didn"t work out so face these facts and write yourself a list of why you don"t think your ex is good enough for you and stop them from playing you and playing with your emotions. One day they will make you feel as they want you back and remember the good old days and then other days they will ignore you and talk about someone else which can leave you in anger, jealousy or depressed so be your own person and focus on your own life because if your ex wanted you back they would"ve done so from the start without pretending to be just friends. I hope that this advice has helped some of you because I myself is dealing with the same situation with my ex.

**caligirl23** · 27-06-12, 08:08 AM

Thank you,....more people need to read this

**DeeGit** · 05-07-12, 08:25 PM

Yes, this is excellent advice, when it is practical. Sometimes, however, you have no choice but to communicate with your ex regularly.
I was married for 15 years, have two kids with her. We work for the same company, on the same project, in the same building. You could say go find another job, but this is the best job I ever had, and I have a very decent position here. There is no way in hell she will change jobs either. The place is that good. We also own some real estate together. Could sell, but now is not the best of times to do that.
Bottom line, I have to talk to her almost daily. If not about the job then about the kids. If not about kids then about tenants. We are on good terms, this was not a nasty fight separation, more of a mutual agreement to end it. But moving on in this situation is just awfuly hard. I am reminded daily of her. She was a crappy wife, but a very good friend and a very good business partner. It is too hard to forget...
Any advice for tormeted soul?

**Boisdevie** · 05-07-12, 08:56 PM

Keep personal life and business separate.

**DeeGit** · 05-07-12, 09:08 PM

I think you are missing my point. As much as it is possible, I am keeping this separate. But I still have to see her and talk to her and get reminded of her on a daily basis. It is super hard to get someone out of your system when you have no choice but to interact so often, even when it is strictly business or kids.