Relationship woes

[Jezah]

Right, so I am really stuck.

I am in a Long Distance Relationship currently with my boyfriend of 13 months, he is in England and I am in the US. He visits semi-regularly (every 6 months for like 2 months each) and usually we are great. The problem is, he is wayyyyy to freaking laid back. We fight, and thats pretty much the only time he shows intense emotion. I get insulted by someone, or harrassed and he has a very hand off "I don't like confrontation" attitude that leaves me feeling like he never has my back. He never defends me, well, not in any meanigful way. He will sometimes make a witty retort back to someone who is mean to me, but nothing on the level I was expecting (essentially I expect the normal male reaction of being protective). Anyways, that is not the biggest issue, though it is one. The biggest issue is, he never takes me seriously when I am hurt or upset. If I am mad at him, or hurt, he takes it so blase like it doesn't even bug him. So...I very stupidly, in order to MAKE him take it seriously have 'broken up' with him 3 times now in a fight but gotte n back together shortly after (to be fair, I really was pissed enough that I wanted to break up...so it wasn't just a game). Now I am the boy who cried wolf and I am in a worse bind than before. Now he really doesn't take any fights we have seriously.

Not to mention, I broke a huge rule in our last fight and after we broke up I went and wrote a scathing message to his friend who was the cause of the fight. Now I am back with my boyfriend, but his best friend and his best friends girlfriend hate me. Its so awkward, and I almost feel like me and my boyfriend got back together after this last breakup more because thats what we always do...as opposed to getting back together because we fixed anything. I am just so confused, I love him so much but this relationship is driving me nuts. I just wish he was less laid back and actually acted like he cared!

[smackie9]

Ya they hate you for a reason..you are a frickin drama queen/nut job. Grow up! What are ya 15? Stop with all this. "He never defends me" are you kidding? Stick up for yourself sister. If you want a crazy ass jealous guy, then go find one. It's obvious this guy doesn't fit the bill. It would be best for you to call it quits anyways before you destroy any more of his relationships with his friends.

[surfhb]

I agree....the OP sounds like my 3 year old. Breaking up to get what you want? Of course he doesn't take you seriously

Besides, you're living in a fantasy anyway. 2 months a year you see him? Get real and quit wasting yours, his and our time.

[Jezah]

Well then, that was helpfully abusive.

I am actually 25 and not crazy thank you. Perhaps some further explanation is needed. I never said I wanted a 'crazy jealous guy' however, when someone calls you a "Fat C*nt" in front of your boyfriend...would you be pleased if he just stood there awkwardly and didn't speak up? I think not, and this is the same situation. I do not need a crazy macho ass for a man, but I do need someone who will defend my "honor" when its needed. I am very capable of standing up for myself and do, but I am not feminist or "evolved" enough to not want my boyfriend to be protective.

Also, how would you feel if everytime you argued with your boyfriend he acted like it was no big, like you crying and being upset was something that didn't need to be taken seriously. I mean I know everyone is different and has different needs in a relationship but I generally like to feel HEARD when I have an issue and I like to feel like he cares.

Lastly, my bitching out his friend was because his 'friend' was treating him like crap and it was impacting our relationship. Honestly it was my boyfriends job to speak up for himself and not mine, and I know I shouldn't have said anything, but he wasn't so I snapped and went off. It happens, especially since I am pain meds after surgery and feeling a little less reservations about speaking my mind than usual.

[Jezah]

You all are a bunch of abusive vicious people here aren't you? Long Distance CAN and DOES work, he is in the military and currently we have no choice but to be LDR, would you advise all military girlfriends they are "living in a fantasy" and should quit wasting their time? Nice

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You are a textbook, crazy bitch. You're nothing but drama, and you feed off of it.

If you get mad and cry about everything, of course it means nothing, because it's what childish people like you do to get their way. You want this guy to start a physical fight because of something someone says to you...that's crazy.

The reason he acts like he doesn't care is because..he doesn't! You are his warm, wet hole for when he's back in the US. He does not care.

[Jezah]

This site is horrible. You are all a bunch of ****ing assholes, why the hell is this Google's top hit for relationship forum? FFS, wow. You all make my skin crawl, get a life and learn how to be kind.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Of course we make your skin crawl. You're too immature to face reality, so you want someone to just tell you what you want to hear.

There's no lack of kindness on this forum, but you also need to be realistic. After the scenario you just described, no objective reader is going to side with you.

You're a psycho, dramaqueen. "Defend my honor.." Pull your head out of your ass.

[iamaninnocentma]

I side with her. Her bf is a big fanny for letting someone call his gf a "fat c**t.

[iamaninnocentma]

dont judge the whole site on a few posters responses. most of the above are trolls.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Jezah, I like how you've edited your original post to remove things you've been criticized for.

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah , i like that also. well spotted

[Jezah]

I actually didn't edit the post. I am pretty sure that it SAYS when a post is edited...? That is the original post

[iamaninnocentma]

nice comeback^^ over to you backup

lol

[Jezah]

Uh well, after 3 replies that were vicious and unhelpful I judged...I waited to see if someone actually posted something helpful.

Plus...you kinda trolled me one post down...saying I edited a post I never edited.

Where are the admins to remove these people? Is this site even moderated? My concerns and issues are valid, this is a unhelpful forum that apparently is filled with trolls