Need some advice about a guy friend--what the heck is going on??!!

[butterfly191]

This is my first post on a site like this, so I'm looking forward to getting some objective thoughts about this...thanks in advance!

I am good friends with a man I work with at school--we get along very well, are very close, flirt back and forth, and I feel like we should be more than friends. He is seeing someone else right now and has been since January of this year. We've never gone out together, have never crossed over any line, and he is really an honorable and loyal guy. He knows how I feel about him, and based on the conversations we've had, I really think he feels something more than platonic for me too. We have also talked about his relationship he is currently in, and based on what he has said, I don't feel like their relationship will last much longer. He calls me every 2 or 3 days, and we talk for long periods of time...sometimes for as long as an hour or more. We also text occasionally. I had stopped initiating contact because I wanted to see if he would keep it up after we were out of work for the summer...kind of to gauge his interest I guess...he now calls me, like I said every 2-3 days. He makes comments like "when we..." and "someday..." so it feels like we could be getting closer to getting together.

I'm a 40 year old divorced woman who has never felt this confused before...and in many ways, I feel very silly.

Here is what I want to know...
1. Do guys call women they have just platonic feelings for this often...how about when they're seeing someone else already?
2. How do I get him to s**t or get off the pot as far as him and I?
3. From a guy's perspective, what's he thinking and where is he at?

Thanks!!

[meh]

Shit or get off the pot? How romantic!

I'd say he's probably out to have sex with you and/or start some kind of relationship. He may be feeling uneasy cheating on his current girlfriend. Or maybe he's waiting for you to make some kind of first move.

Either way, I really doubt he's interested in just having a platonic relationship with you. Unless you're really ugly or you smell bad.

[Boisdevie]

I don't think he fancies you because if he did why didn't he make a move when he was single? And then find a GF? But if he's whingeing to you about his GF that is way out of order and unfair to his GF whether he likes her or not. Doesn't sound promising to me.

[butterfly191]

Wanted to clarify that we didn't actually become friends until after he was already dating this other woman...

[butterfly191]

Thanks for your reply...I loved your last sentence...I don't think I'm ugly and I do shower daily.

[haxan]

He's either bored with his current relationship, or she's bored with him and it's probably not so much fun anymore. You're new and interesting. He's keeping you 'around' just in case it comes to an end, so he can have an easy transition into something new and won't be lonely. Most people don't leave unsatisfying relationships until they've 'set up' another one. You'll more than likely be a rebound if something happens, which isn't much fun in reality.

[love major]

You're 40. And how old is he?