She might have a thing for my best friend/roomate...

[CopeCitizen]

So there’s this girl... Our backstory in a nutshell is that we liked each other a lot about a year ago, and were like a step below dating for a few weeks. It didn’t work out, I think mainly because I am really shy, and I’m not exactly the most interesting or exciting guy to be around. We had sex once in that first run together, and slept together a few times.

About a week ago, she ended up spending the night again. Nothing happened, but it stirred up her interest in me again for a bit. We ended up having sex again exactly a week ago. Since then, she been on and off in texting me frequently, and texting me things like “I miss you” or “I really wish you were here”… stuff like that. But from what I’ve been lead to believe, she’s only interested in having sex right now. I should point out she’s not a slut or anything by any means.

I really like her. I can’t stop myself from it. She only the second girl I’ve ever been with, so it’s having an effect on me. She has so many qualities that I love about her, and a lot of things that I look for in girls. But I know that we probably wouldn’t work out as a couple, so I haven’t really been pursuing that as much, and from what she’s said and how she’s said it, she isn’t either. I’m OK with that.

This is the problem… I have noticed that my roommate (and best friend), has been talking to her a lot recently. They haven’t done anything, and I know at one point she didn’t even like him very much. But she’s very emotional and those things change with her. The thought of them being together at all is making me sick. Everytime he mentions her name my stomach churns. How do I deal with this? Granted I jump to conclusions way too easily, and she is someone that loves to text/talk… to like everyone, but they were talking at like midnight after she told me she had a big day at work tomorrow and couldn’t come down. I am thinking about possibly bringing it up tomorrow sometime… but I don’t really know how to, or what to say. I feel so sick right now because of it… My appetite had been shot the past couple of days.

[searock]

Why are you so sure that a relationship between the two of you wouldn't work? I think you're only telling this to yourself because you are afraid that if you asked her to get in a relationship with you, she would refuse.

[TheCafeTerrace]

Tell your room mate that you like her and ask him not to try anything with her. Even tell him the thought of them together makes you feel so uncomfortable. If he's a good friend he'll respect that and it'll put your mind at ease.

As for this girl though, it sounds like she might be emotionally manipulating you a little bit, she wants sex and the company but doesn't want to be tied down in a relationship. You're the one rolling over for her and playing it how she wants to play it - you can't have a relationship that's "just sex" if you're going to be jealous if she gets with other guys. That shows me that while she may be in it for just the sex you're far too emotionally invested to be a ****buddy. It might be worth thinking about giving her an ultimatum - either exclusivity or nothing. Protect your heart.

[Alexa103]

What is it that you want with her then? If you care about her but are sure you wouldn't work as a couple, then you should accept the fact that sooner or later she'll date someone else.
and if its just sex that you two want then it comes down to the same thing.

I suggest you should make up your mind about what you want before doing anything else.

Also I agree with searock ..why are so sure? it wouldn't work?
if you really like her than take a risk and tell her.
Otherwise the jealousy you feel now will just get worse! As for the roommate, I'd ask him if he likes her ? and tell him how you feel about her !

[Cheekxss]

She is not a slut?

If your story is true , she may be a slut that lay down with all roommates.

And if you want a girl you should not have time to be shy.

But you try but did not work out. so leave her alone.

[CopeCitizen]

Searock:
because we tried before. I have a lot of self esteem & anxiety issues, and you need to be patient to date me. My only girlfriend was extremely patient. I dont know is this one can do that (one of the few things I dont like about her). Besides, based on how she's been acting, im pretty certain she doesnt want to date me.

TheCafe & Alexa:
Im really ok with the thought of her with other guys. I like her a lot, but if she is talking to other guys, or goin on dates, and were sleeping together until she finds some guy to get more serious with, and I dont hear about it, I am fine with that. It's the fact that she might be talking to my roomate that bothers me so much... because that would mean I was constantly see her with him, and hear about it, and I don't know how I could handle that. Not to mention the jealousy that would come with him being able to get done what I couldn't. I would reek havoc on my emotional health... It already is. I couldn't sleep till 4 last night, I skipped class this morning, and my appetite is shot...

[searock]

Then talk to your room mate about it. But hey, in the end you have no right to stop them from seeing each other (as you know). So the only thing you can do is prepare for the "worst" and get help for your anxiety issues.